I've been watching some documentaries on television that deal with the idea that ancient astronauts visited Earth, and they are the reason for so many of the things in the ancient world--like the pyramids. Personally, I think it is the only explanation for the ancient achievements, and I'm going to explain why for the humans who might be reading this (or have their dogs reading it to them). We dogs have the vast intellect to build things like that, and the humans are too stupid to accomplish such wonders. Therefore, the ancient astronauts were dogs from another planet. We decided to stay here and help the humans because our ancient ancestors realized that the humans would never survive without our help. Let's face it-they were cave men running from dinosaurs when we came here, and the dinosaurs were winning. For example, there was Ork, the caveman who decided to invent the wheel, but he kept making it square. Any dog can tell you that a square wheel just won't work, but Ork spent 30 years of his life working on it before he decided to change its shape, and he changed it to a rectangle. Is it any wonder, dogs' ancient ancestors felt sorry for the humans on this planet and decided to remain? Besides, watching Ork trying to make a square wheel work for 30 years was amusing to ancestral dogs. In addition, the humans did have one talent that ancient dogs loved--they could give good tummy rubs!
Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Ancient Dog Astronauts)