Have any of you attended a "silent disco"? If you are wondering what a silent disco happens to be, it is a dance where all the humans dancing are wearing headphones so that the music is not heard except by the dancers wearing their headphones. I'm not quite sure the purpose for not having music except that it gives the humans the chance to sing along with the music so it isn't actually silent because you just have the voices of the unprofessional singers to listen if you are a spectator. Of course, if you have on headphones, you probably can't hear yourself sing--which I'm sure is a blessing to many of the dancers taking part-not so much a blessing for the spectators who are just watching. Am I the only one who wonders how this craze got started? If I were betting, I would put my money on the headphone industry. They stand to sell a lot more headphones for events like a silent disco. To give you an example of silent disco, here is a video of an event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQVfIzH4Cng&feature=related
This dog has no plans to attend any of these events. I happen to be in the singing group, The Howling Huskies, and we like our music to be heard by everyone. Of course, we are dogs singing so we are fantastic.
Demon Flash Bandit (Member of the Howling Huskies)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Family Who Spends $200,000 a Year on Food!
I have a new award for human stupidity in the field of economics. I am calling it the Demon Flash Bandit Award for Humans Who Should Not Be Allowed to Handle Finances Because They are Incredibly Stupid. The first recipient of my award goes to Congressman Fleming, a member of the Tea Party, for stating that he can't afford to pay more taxes because he only makes $600,000 a year, and it takes $200,000 a year to feed his family. I can only assume that his family must be super big eaters to spend so much of the money on food. His logic is that he needs $400,000 to create new jobs. It seems he has businesses that make millions every year, but much of that money goes to pay employees, business costs, etc. I'm wondering how this moron can run successful Subway franchises when he pays so much for food for his family. If he is in charge of buying the supplies, the Subways he owns must be losing money. I have a better idea for fixing the economy.....let him pay more taxes, and let some of those people who he wants to continue paying to work for him (probably at minimum wage) actually be the ones to create new jobs. There are plenty of innovative new businesses that end up employing far more people than fast food franchises at better pay. In the long run, it would do Congressman Fleming a big favor because it is obvious to this dog that the stress of trying to keep so many people employed is getting to him. In fact, I think the stress of getting dressed in the morning must be getting to him. This is why I don't care for Tea Party conservatives. This guy is not "conservative" with tax payer money.....he is just selfishly trying to get more for himself, and acting like he is doing everyone a favor in the process. I hope his constituents decide to send him back to his old job when it is time for reelection. There are way too many idiots running the country!
Demon Flash Bandit (Giving Out a New Award)
Demon Flash Bandit (Giving Out a New Award)
Monday, September 19, 2011
Make the Play Area for Dogs
Normally I am not a big fan of the Emmy awards, but I have to make an exception for one particular actor. Peter Dinklage. Dinklage won the Emmy for outstanding supporting actor for his role in Game of Thrones on HBO. He thanked his dog sitter, Kitty, for watching his dog, Kevin. Of course, I do wonder how Kevin the dog feels about having a dog sitter named Kitty, but I must give Peter Dinklage credit for having his priorities in order. Most humans don't have enough sense to put their dogs first.
According to the news today, a lady has done some research and found that many fast food play areas for children aren't clean enough. I have a simple solution for this problem. Ban the human puppies from the play areas and let us dogs take over. We dogs love things that the humans think are disgusting so we would have a great time playing there. In addition, we would then be allowed in the restaurants which, as of this time, we aren't--except for service dogs. A dog play area and tasty food all in one building. The dogs who enjoy it would think they had died and gone to heaven!!! Once again, Demon Flash Bandit has solved another human problem. What would the humans do without us dogs to lead the way?
Demon Flash Bandit (Ready to Play)
According to the news today, a lady has done some research and found that many fast food play areas for children aren't clean enough. I have a simple solution for this problem. Ban the human puppies from the play areas and let us dogs take over. We dogs love things that the humans think are disgusting so we would have a great time playing there. In addition, we would then be allowed in the restaurants which, as of this time, we aren't--except for service dogs. A dog play area and tasty food all in one building. The dogs who enjoy it would think they had died and gone to heaven!!! Once again, Demon Flash Bandit has solved another human problem. What would the humans do without us dogs to lead the way?
Demon Flash Bandit (Ready to Play)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
McDonalds Employee Has Attitude Problem
I have often said that some of the humans should not have the jobs they have, and I think this video proves my point.
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2011/09/16/mcdonalds-manager-takes-a-stand-against-coning/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec3_lnk1%7C96577
Evidently, some McDonalds customers have taken the ice cream cones they order by the ice cream instead of from the bottom cone. This is supposed to be a hilarious (not in my opinion) prank. Personally, as long as the customer pays for the ice cream--if they want to make a mess in their car, I don't really see why the employee at McDonalds would care one way or the other. I am sharing this to illustrate a point that this dog has noticed about the humans. The humans are always trying to tell the other humans how to live. The really sad thing about it is that very often the humans offering the most advice are the ones whose lives are the biggest messes. My assumption is that misery loves company. Anyway, if I were running McDonalds, that employee would be in big trouble. In fact, I would probably fire that employee because their job is to sell the product--not to dictate what the customer does with the product. I don't care if they buy it and throw it away, once it is paid for, it is theirs. Sure, some of the customers are stupid, but that is their problem. As Ron White said in one of his stand up routines, "you can't fix stupid", which probably explains a lot about the humans. We dogs know that life is difficult enough solving our own problems so we don't go around telling other dogs what to do as much--except to let them know to leave our stuff alone. If only the humans were as smart as us dogs! The saddest thing about this video is that I think that the employee is a manager--this is the kind of employee that gets promoted to deal with customers? Again, if I were running McDonalds, I'd be investigating that entire restaurant.
Demon Flash Bandit (Observing Human Behavior)
http://jobs.aol.com/articles/2011/09/16/mcdonalds-manager-takes-a-stand-against-coning/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec3_lnk1%7C96577
Evidently, some McDonalds customers have taken the ice cream cones they order by the ice cream instead of from the bottom cone. This is supposed to be a hilarious (not in my opinion) prank. Personally, as long as the customer pays for the ice cream--if they want to make a mess in their car, I don't really see why the employee at McDonalds would care one way or the other. I am sharing this to illustrate a point that this dog has noticed about the humans. The humans are always trying to tell the other humans how to live. The really sad thing about it is that very often the humans offering the most advice are the ones whose lives are the biggest messes. My assumption is that misery loves company. Anyway, if I were running McDonalds, that employee would be in big trouble. In fact, I would probably fire that employee because their job is to sell the product--not to dictate what the customer does with the product. I don't care if they buy it and throw it away, once it is paid for, it is theirs. Sure, some of the customers are stupid, but that is their problem. As Ron White said in one of his stand up routines, "you can't fix stupid", which probably explains a lot about the humans. We dogs know that life is difficult enough solving our own problems so we don't go around telling other dogs what to do as much--except to let them know to leave our stuff alone. If only the humans were as smart as us dogs! The saddest thing about this video is that I think that the employee is a manager--this is the kind of employee that gets promoted to deal with customers? Again, if I were running McDonalds, I'd be investigating that entire restaurant.
Demon Flash Bandit (Observing Human Behavior)
Saturday, September 17, 2011
I Plan To Order Some Snow!!!
Although I don't pull a sled, my breed is a working breed that was bred for pulling sleds in the frozen north. This means that I LOVE snow and ice. I don't just LOVE it, I L-O-V-E it!!! This is why I am very excited about finding this product on the Internet. It is a powder that makes snow! Yes, you can have snow even in hot months like August with this super wonderful product. The ad does not say if it is cold or not, but an hour or two in a refrigerator or freezer should take care of that problem if it is not already cold. Imagine the wonderful feel of snow on your paws, the fun of getting it on your nose. I am ready to place an order now. I just have to go and get that plastic thing out of my human's purse. For those who love snow as much as I do, here is the address:
http://www.vat19.com/dvds/trailertheater.cfm?productID=851724001893
Of course, it may be on back-order since I plan to buy all they have. It isn't everyday that I find such a "cool" product on the Internet.
I was looking at the Internet news and I ran across this little gem of an article. It is an item for sale on ebay which, according to the seller, is the actor Nicholas Cage, when he was alive during the U.S. Civil War. Here is the article for those who want to see it for themselves.
http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/09/16/nicolas-cage-19th-century-photo-ebay/
He is asking a large sum for the photo, but I wouldn't buy it. I have noticed that humans, very much like dogs, have other humans who look a lot like them. I think it was probably someone who just had a resemblance to Cage, but not the Cage living today. However, you can't blame the seller for hoping that some idiot will buy the photo and pay him the price he is seeking. If an art museum can sell invisible art (which I have covered in a previous blog), why not a photo of someone who looked like Nicholas Cage who lived a long time ago. It might even be an ancestor which could explain the resemblance--or would that be too sane for the seller?
Demon Flash Bandit
http://www.vat19.com/dvds/trailertheater.cfm?productID=851724001893
Of course, it may be on back-order since I plan to buy all they have. It isn't everyday that I find such a "cool" product on the Internet.
I was looking at the Internet news and I ran across this little gem of an article. It is an item for sale on ebay which, according to the seller, is the actor Nicholas Cage, when he was alive during the U.S. Civil War. Here is the article for those who want to see it for themselves.
http://blog.moviefone.com/2011/09/16/nicolas-cage-19th-century-photo-ebay/
He is asking a large sum for the photo, but I wouldn't buy it. I have noticed that humans, very much like dogs, have other humans who look a lot like them. I think it was probably someone who just had a resemblance to Cage, but not the Cage living today. However, you can't blame the seller for hoping that some idiot will buy the photo and pay him the price he is seeking. If an art museum can sell invisible art (which I have covered in a previous blog), why not a photo of someone who looked like Nicholas Cage who lived a long time ago. It might even be an ancestor which could explain the resemblance--or would that be too sane for the seller?
Demon Flash Bandit
Friday, September 16, 2011
Why Many Dogs Hate Cats
Today I am going to share the fairy tale of Cinderella.
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful and well behaved Siberian Husky named Cinderella. Cinderella's mom died and her father re-married a horrible grouch of a cat named Gertrude. Getrude had 2 ugly cat daughters and because Cinderella was not her daughter and also a dog, she always made Cinderella do all the work. Her and her daughters sat around the house purring and smoking catnip (yeah, you know they had to be druggies). Anyway, poor Cinderella spent much of her time wishing for a better life.
One day the handsome Prince in Dogrealmia needed to find a bride so his parents would quit bugging him about getting married and providing an heir. He decided to throw a ball, and all the young creatures in the land were so excited at the possibility that they might become the Queen. Obviously, these are people who didn't know that the English royal family traditionally serve fruit cake at their wedding. The fruit cake alone would cause most women to cancel the wedding. There are fruit cakes in the United States that have been in families for generations as Christmas gifts that no one eats or wants to open under the tree. They do make great gifts fo the relatives you don't like though. Anyway, Cinderella was not allowed to go to the ball, but her fairy godmother showed up and made sure she got to go.
The ball was so exciting. The Prince was on his throne, and he had a basket of balls and he threw them out to the audience. Whichever girl was lucky enough to get the golden ball would be his Queen. Of course, Cinderella was the lucky dog who got the gold ball, and the Prince fell madly in love with her at first sight. The ugly stepmother cat and her two ugly daughters were mad, but Cinderella did not have them killed.....she just had them and all other cats banished from the kingdom. This is why many dogs still hate cats to this day.
Demon Flash Bandit (Relating the Story of Cinderella)
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful and well behaved Siberian Husky named Cinderella. Cinderella's mom died and her father re-married a horrible grouch of a cat named Gertrude. Getrude had 2 ugly cat daughters and because Cinderella was not her daughter and also a dog, she always made Cinderella do all the work. Her and her daughters sat around the house purring and smoking catnip (yeah, you know they had to be druggies). Anyway, poor Cinderella spent much of her time wishing for a better life.
One day the handsome Prince in Dogrealmia needed to find a bride so his parents would quit bugging him about getting married and providing an heir. He decided to throw a ball, and all the young creatures in the land were so excited at the possibility that they might become the Queen. Obviously, these are people who didn't know that the English royal family traditionally serve fruit cake at their wedding. The fruit cake alone would cause most women to cancel the wedding. There are fruit cakes in the United States that have been in families for generations as Christmas gifts that no one eats or wants to open under the tree. They do make great gifts fo the relatives you don't like though. Anyway, Cinderella was not allowed to go to the ball, but her fairy godmother showed up and made sure she got to go.
The ball was so exciting. The Prince was on his throne, and he had a basket of balls and he threw them out to the audience. Whichever girl was lucky enough to get the golden ball would be his Queen. Of course, Cinderella was the lucky dog who got the gold ball, and the Prince fell madly in love with her at first sight. The ugly stepmother cat and her two ugly daughters were mad, but Cinderella did not have them killed.....she just had them and all other cats banished from the kingdom. This is why many dogs still hate cats to this day.
Demon Flash Bandit (Relating the Story of Cinderella)
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Dinner With the Royals,and Kate Wearing a Napkin Hat
Last week I was invited to have dinner with the royal family in Great Britain, and I know that my readers will want to know how it really is to have dinner with the royal family so I am using this blog to share the experience with all of you. I hope this will make all of you feel like you are vicariously enjoying a royal dinner. To make it easier to read, I will put it in script form.
INSIDE THE CASTLE DINING ROOM....DINNER TIME....THE MENU......COWHEART BURGERS...
Queen Lady: I do hope the food is up to everyone's culinary taste.
Prince Charles: Yes, Mom, the cow heart burgers are extra tasty today.
Queen Lady: That is because I ordered them from extra contented cows.
Prince Charles: Bravo, Mom....once again.... a culinary masterpiece. I do hope we have fruitcake for dessert.
Queen Lady: Why of course, we are having fruit cake for dessert. This is a royal meal, is it not?
KATE IS PUTTING A NAPKIN ON HER HEAD
Queen Lady: Kate, must you always experiment with dinner as a hat. You know that the ketchup you tried last week didn't work out, and when you tried to use the tablecloth, you knocked everything off the table. I told you that your next fashion item will be to make a dress out of that burlap bag I told the servants to leave in your room. We just bought stock in a burlap company, and we need to sell a lot of burlap.
Kate: Can't I ever have any fun? Can I at least try the plate as a hat?
Prince Charles: I love your hat choices, and I know you like to try new things, but you really should sit back and eat your cow burger like the rest of us.
Queen Lady: Demon Flash Bandit, what do you think of the napkin as a hat?
Demon Flash Bandit: I think she should use the cow burger as a hat then at least I wouldn't have to eat mine. Of course, I'm not going to eat it anyway.
Queen Lady: Did we serve something stupid again Demon Flash Bandit?
Demon Flash Bandit: Yes, you did. Don't you know how to order good food?
Queen Lady: What is good food?
That was my dinner with the royal family. Yes, truly a riveting occasion. There was actually a person in the corner of the room putting rivets in something. After reading this, I'm sure that most of you will realize that eating dinner with the royal family is not a fun event. I think their menu would be improved if they served dog food.
Demon Flash Bandit (Covering the Royal Dinner)
INSIDE THE CASTLE DINING ROOM....DINNER TIME....THE MENU......COWHEART BURGERS...
Queen Lady: I do hope the food is up to everyone's culinary taste.
Prince Charles: Yes, Mom, the cow heart burgers are extra tasty today.
Queen Lady: That is because I ordered them from extra contented cows.
Prince Charles: Bravo, Mom....once again.... a culinary masterpiece. I do hope we have fruitcake for dessert.
Queen Lady: Why of course, we are having fruit cake for dessert. This is a royal meal, is it not?
KATE IS PUTTING A NAPKIN ON HER HEAD
Queen Lady: Kate, must you always experiment with dinner as a hat. You know that the ketchup you tried last week didn't work out, and when you tried to use the tablecloth, you knocked everything off the table. I told you that your next fashion item will be to make a dress out of that burlap bag I told the servants to leave in your room. We just bought stock in a burlap company, and we need to sell a lot of burlap.
Kate: Can't I ever have any fun? Can I at least try the plate as a hat?
Prince Charles: I love your hat choices, and I know you like to try new things, but you really should sit back and eat your cow burger like the rest of us.
Queen Lady: Demon Flash Bandit, what do you think of the napkin as a hat?
Demon Flash Bandit: I think she should use the cow burger as a hat then at least I wouldn't have to eat mine. Of course, I'm not going to eat it anyway.
Queen Lady: Did we serve something stupid again Demon Flash Bandit?
Demon Flash Bandit: Yes, you did. Don't you know how to order good food?
Queen Lady: What is good food?
That was my dinner with the royal family. Yes, truly a riveting occasion. There was actually a person in the corner of the room putting rivets in something. After reading this, I'm sure that most of you will realize that eating dinner with the royal family is not a fun event. I think their menu would be improved if they served dog food.
Demon Flash Bandit (Covering the Royal Dinner)
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