Saturday, May 30, 2015

Australia is Forgiven for Depp Dog Incident

I have reconsidered, and I have forgiven Australia for being ready to kill Johnny Depp's dogs so I have lifted my ban on travel there.  I will probably never make it there because humom can't do much travelling now.  I am very loyal to my humom.  I can't leave her behind while I travel.  If you ask my opinion (and who doesn't), the humans would be a lot happier if they behaved more like dogs.  Dogs Should be above the silly anti dog laws.  I think the government's should quit picking on dogs and pay closer attention to the humans they let in.  Some humans are evil.  I assume they have been trained by birds.  I won't even approach the subject of birds going through customs.  Why would a human ever allow a bird into a country when I hate them?  This brings me to today's subject which is pets.  Clearly some humans have no clue as to what constitutes  a pet.  A pet is a companion who will listen sympathetically while the human strokes the pet.  This includes many species of which I will list a few:  Dogs, cats rabbits, kangaroos, guinea pigs, and even elephants but elephants do need a big  yard unless you live in a  town that has an elephant park where they can run and play.
 Spiders and snakes are not meant to be pets.  They aren't cuddly and cute.  There are pythons slithering around Florida nowadays because some misguided humans
got themselves an exotic pet and then let it go when they got tired of it.  This is unacceptable behavior.  If you read the Bible, you will discover that God cursed snakes and told the humans never to get one as a pet.  This is because the snake talked Eve into eating from the tree of knowledge.  Once Adam and Eve realized that they were naked, they put fig leaves on themselves to hide their nakedness which made the snake extra nasty because he didn't tell them to go  to the shopping mall.  Fig leaves were out of style even back then.  God was mad at the snake and he said to the humans:  "Thou shalt not like snakes.  In the future, instead of walking on snake legs, snakes will crawl on the bellies.  Humans should kill every snake they see with whatever fire power which is necessary  to accomplish the goal.  The best pet you can get is a dog.  Also. You should never eat bacon or ham.  Bacon is exclusively for dogs."  Be sure your human reads this blog so they will start giving you all the bacon.

I do have one last thing to say about Capt. Jack Sparrow.  If Australia had,women running it instead of men, this incident would have never happened.  Even Angel Zoom Smokey thinks he is "dreamy".  I have to admit that I have used my own cuteness to get out of potential problems so I understand!  Other males get very jealous of me.  Have you seen the old men running govts.? Many of them were hit by the ugly stick so you know they are jealous.

Demon Flash Bandit (Capt. Demon Flash Bandit)



  1. Crikey Demon ..... I'm glad you reconsidered and have forgiven Australia but really mate there was nothing to forgive. I haven't forgiven Johhny Depp for being a big fat sneak. Mum might have. She's like Angel Zoom Smokey ..... she thinks he's dreamy too. All I can say is ..... in her dreams!!!!
    Crikey can you really have an elephant for a pet? I'd really like a brother or sister but I don't think I'd like and elephant and besides Mum's laps only just big enough for me. Where would an elephant sit to watch TV?? You sure were right when you said the best pet you can get is a dog, aye??

  2. I wuz at the fish place yesterday Demon and they haf a 'pet' section and they did haf snakes and spiders and…after my experiences..I can only agree wiv you!
    The snake slithered up the glass case and tried to eats me!! And the spider, well there's not photos of him 'cos Mum disappeared over the other side of the shop quivering! Guess we'll never haf a tarantula as a pet!
    Loves and licky kisses
    Princess Leah xxx