For those of you who have been wondering if the Loch Ness Monster is real or a hoax, I have the answer. I decided to go on a fact finding trip to Scotland to find out for myself because, let's face it, you can't trust the humans with such an important discovery. They can't even use their sense of smell to help locate a monster because, they can't smell their way out of a paper bag. I thought it was important for a dog to take over the search so, here I was, hanging out in Scotland, and wearing a kilt so I'd fit in. I don't normally wear clothes because I don't think we dogs need them, but a dog not wearing a kilt would look silly in Scotland. I checked into a hotel and went for a walk on the beach to see if I might be lucky enough to catch sight of "Nessie", and I was one lucky dog because I saw Nessie right away. There was a boat on the water, and Nessie was throwing up over the side. I could tell it was Nessie because she was green, and I'm going to assume she has gills since the humans say that people who are throwing up are "green around the gills". Imagine how happy I was to be the dog to find the truth. Yes, Nessie does exist, and Nessie has a serious problem because Nessie gets seasick. Think about this for a moment....a "sea monster" who gets "sea sick" would have a horrible life. I told Nessie that she could move away from the sea, but since Nessie had just invested in a whole wardrobe of kilts to fit in with the local fashion, she said she would stay and put up with the sea sickness. Nessie is quite a trooper--or perhaps a better word would be "trouter" since Nessie is kind of "fish like" living in the water. Nessie started asking me if she could borrow $2.50. I guess sea monsters think dogs have a lot of money so I got my tail out of there as soon as possible. I am not about to lend $2.50 to a sea monster-particularly when I saw Nessie's credit rating!
Demon Flash Bandit (Loch Ness Monster Wanted to Borrow Money)