Ancient Egyptian Antiquity Found at Garage Sale!

I have never mentioned that I like to collect ancient antiquities. There is nothing like an ancient bone or dog toy to make you feel part of the march of time. When I get in the frame of mind where I want to add an additonal antiquity to my collection, I do what all searchers of ancient antiquities do--I headed for a garage sale. Garage sales are known for their ancient antiquities at reasonable prices. On one trip, I was fortunate to find a fantastic find--it is an ancient dog diary written by an ancient Eyptian dog named Gahiji. I have decided to share an entry from his diary.

Gahiji:
I am an ancient Egyptian dog, and my human's name is Habibah. Habibah works for the Pharoah building pyramids. Habibah is at work now although this weekend, we will take his laundry to his parent's house so that his mom can wash the clothing for him. Washing clothing is "woman's work". My big worry is that Habibah will lose his job. He keeps writing grafitti inside the pyramids. Things like The Pharoah needs to get a life, and The Pharoah is going to be a mummy. I know that Habibah has a sense of humor, but I'm not so sure that the Pharoah is going to think the graffiti is funny. As Habibah's dog, I have become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, I hope Habibah's sense of humor won't mess up my lifestyle by getting him fired. I don't know why he doesn't just do some stand up comedy the Luxor (in Las Vegas). I'm sure they have some shows there, and he could get paid instead of having me worry about him getting fired.

I'll be back to write more tomorrow. Writing on papyrus is not easy. It would be nice if computers were already invented!
Gahiji (Ancient Egyptian Dog)

I was really lucky to have attended that garage sale!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Ancient Dog Diary)

Amenhotep III

Archaeologists (or their dogs) have recently made a big discovery in the city of Luxor. They found a statue of Amenhotep III which is 42 feet tall. I think this explains how the Pharaohs gained power in Egypt. If a 42 feet tall human says to do something, I think most of the shorter people are going to listen to him.
This statue is one of a pair that were on each side of the northern entrance to the grand funerary temple. Amenhotep III is missing his head, but I think that can easily be explained by an encounter with that Mummy that is always running around in the Mummy movies. Even a tall Pharaoh would have problems dealing with a Mummy. Amenhotep III ruled in the 14th century BC and was the grandfather of King Tutankhamen, the boy king. This was at the height of the New Kingdom, but it was still a very long time ago. In my opinion, ancient Egypt was a great kingdom because they valued their dogs. Any humans who love their dogs and treat them well get my paw of approval. I doubt that I would have enjoyed living in Egypt since I am a sled dog, and I'm not fond of hot weather, and Egypt gets a lot of hot weather. However, there were many breeds who were very happy there. I do wonder if there were some really big dogs there since the Pharaoh was 42 feet tall. I am going to assume that they hadn't invented ceiling fans back then or he would have been nervous anytime he entered a room where one was on. Anyway, I am quite sure that the archaeologists' dogs found this statue, and I'm sure the humans, as usual, took the credit for it. However, it is okay since most of us dogs don't get that excited over old statues unless they are made out of dingo bones. By the way, I think the Luxor pyramid is in Las Vegas, Nevada so I hope those archaeologists know where they are. Another interesting thought: you would think that a 42 foot tall statue would be hard to lose.....humans!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing An Archaeological Find)

Don't Let Mummies Get any Sweet Potatoes!

I am sorry to read about all the problems in Cairo. Since 2 mummies are missing their heads, I have to assume that there is yet another uprising of mummies in Egypt. Since I haven't heard both sides of the story, I'm not sure if the mummies are seeking revenge for the lost heads or if the people had to decapitate them because they were causing so much trouble. Either way it is sad that mummies are still causing problems after so many centuries. You would think they would realize by now that they aren't alive. On the other paw, I guess they might be mad that they are dead. Waking up and finding out that you are dead would tend to make a person angry! I am guessing that finding the cost of bandages have risen so much in recent centuries is not going to make them any happier.

Meanwhile in Wisconsin, the mystery behind 200 dead cows has been solved. The culprit was sweet potatoes. I have heard of killer tomatoes, but killer sweet potatoes is a new one for me. The next time you see a sweet potato, I suggest you show it the proper respect so it doesn't grab a gun and shoot you. At least the cow deaths weren't caused by mummies because they are busy running amok in the streets of Egypt. Let's just hope the mummies don't get their paws on some sweet potatoes!

Demon Flash Bandit (Avoiding Sweet Potatoes)

Why Would a Human Want to be Associated with Birds?

My main mission in life if to warn the humans about birds. They are evil and plan to take over the planet. Perhaps if the humans watch Smallville, they will see what I am talking about. It seems that Lois has went to Egypt, and Superman asked Hawkman to watch over her. Hawkman ends up kissing her. What do you expect from a birdman? How many of you have heard of the Birdman of Alcatraz? He was in jail, and he liked birds. Just how much proof does a dog need to give before the humans realize just how serious this situation happens to be. I can only say that I do hope that Lois didn't catch bird flu or some other awful bird disease from Hawkman, and what birdbrain would be dumb enough to risk making Superman mad? You don't mess with Superman. Someone should tell Hawkman that.

Demon Flash Bandit (Superman Needs to Go After Hawkman)