Don't Let Mummies Get any Sweet Potatoes!

I am sorry to read about all the problems in Cairo. Since 2 mummies are missing their heads, I have to assume that there is yet another uprising of mummies in Egypt. Since I haven't heard both sides of the story, I'm not sure if the mummies are seeking revenge for the lost heads or if the people had to decapitate them because they were causing so much trouble. Either way it is sad that mummies are still causing problems after so many centuries. You would think they would realize by now that they aren't alive. On the other paw, I guess they might be mad that they are dead. Waking up and finding out that you are dead would tend to make a person angry! I am guessing that finding the cost of bandages have risen so much in recent centuries is not going to make them any happier.

Meanwhile in Wisconsin, the mystery behind 200 dead cows has been solved. The culprit was sweet potatoes. I have heard of killer tomatoes, but killer sweet potatoes is a new one for me. The next time you see a sweet potato, I suggest you show it the proper respect so it doesn't grab a gun and shoot you. At least the cow deaths weren't caused by mummies because they are busy running amok in the streets of Egypt. Let's just hope the mummies don't get their paws on some sweet potatoes!

Demon Flash Bandit (Avoiding Sweet Potatoes)

Mummies Need Bandages

When you happen to go down the first aid aisle of your favorite store, you will see a vast array of bandages. These bandages are often overlooked when there has been no injury, but it is nice to know that they are available when they are needed. This means that if the price of bandages go up, most people don't even notice right away. However, there is one group that you are likely to see protesting outside the store about the rising costs. That group is the mummies among us. Imagine how much they have to spend to cover themselves entirely in bandages! Sure, if they would stick in their cases in the museums, it would not be a problem, but judging from the amount of movies that have had mummies in them, they don't like to hang out at the museum when they can be causing mayhem in the regular world. I have never seen a mummy personally, but if I did, I would ask him how many times he changes his bandages. What if I need some bandages and he has wiped out the bandage section at the store? It would be important to know this in advance so that a dog can stock up on necessities. I have had a few people suggest that I write a money saving book for mummies. I think it would be much cheaper for them to buy some white linens and cut them up and use them as bandages. Since the mummies are dead anyway, I don't think they need to worry about the bandages being sterile. It isn't like an infection is going to bother them. Personally, it does my heart good to know that there are nice mummies who are protesting rising prices instead of the meaner ones who are chasing after everyone.

Demon Flash Bandit (Reporting on Mummies)