I Didn't Attend the Royal Wedding

Since I chose not to attend the royal wedding, I also chose not to watch it. I do have a letter to share with you from the Queen Lady regarding my lack of attendance.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
The royal wedding of my grandson yesterday went well, but it would have been so much better if you had attended. We never realized that when we didn't invite Bo Obama, first dog, that you would take offense and not attend. We were so looking forward to you because, as you know, you were our most important guest. The media was very upset when they asked where you would be sitting, and we had to tell them that you had declined our invitation. I have to admit that I didn't expect you to decline the invitation since most people will not turn down a royal invitation, but we failed to take into consideration you would stand by your fellow dog, Bo. I do hope that we can continue to be friends because being your friend means a lot to me and my family.
Love, Queen Lady Elizabeth

For those who want to know what I replied, I am going to include my reply.

Dear Queen Lady,
I do appreciate the wedding invitation, and I am glad that it went well. I would have attended had you included Bo Obama, but when you omit the first dog, then as a patriotic American dog, I cannot in good conscience attend the event. I understand that the wedding would have been a lot better had I been there, but this is something you should have realized before you omitted Bo Obama.

Actually, I'm surprised the royal family has even managed to survive all these years what with all the inbreeding in past generations. Some people in the United States do that, but they usually don't get the opportunity to run the country. Sure, sometimes they are allowed to run a fast food franchise or a gas station, but seldom the entire country. Judging from the success of recent royal marriages, it even takes the "fairy tale" out of the equation since, in fairy tales, the couple lives happily ever after--not divorced. I will admit that I never realized what a rich country Britain happens to be until I saw how much money your family has to live on. I have to tell you that you wouldn't like the welfare system here in the United States because the tax payers won't allow a family to draw so much money from the government. Kudos to your welfare system there.
Don't worry about us being friends. I'm glad that you understood why I could not attend the royal wedding, and I do hope the couple will be very happy together. Happiness doesn't seem to be too prevalent in your family which is very sad.
Love, Demon Flash Bandit

California's First Dog, SutterBrown, to the Rescue

Imagine how happy I was to find out that California's first dog is helping the state pay off their deficit. I've often said dogs should be in charge, and this proves my point. Governor Jerry Brown's first dog, SutterBrown, is doing his part to help. SutterBrown is a very busy Corgi. He has a line of merchandise from which the proceeds go to paying down the state deficit. I might add that the Gubenator never had a first dog who did anything to help the budget. You would think a big, macho hero like Arnold could at least match the work of the SutterBrown. So far, SutterBrown, has brought in $700. to help the deficit. Now if the state of California will get Octomom to move and put the money the dog has made into the state budget, they might actually have a budget surplus. To see the video about the first dog, go to this address: http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/state&id=8049156 Perhaps Bo Obama should start his own line of merchandise to help the national deficit. On the local front, Charlie Sheen's show in Detroit, Michigan did not do well. This was not a surprise to my humans so they did not bother to attend the show, and it looks like that made a good call on that one. Charlie Sheen is a talented actor, and I hope he gets his life together before his life becomes as big a bomb as that show. I also want to mention that after my blog yesterday about the April Fool's Day joke done on the Internet by Toshiba in which I thought a computer for dogs would be an excellent idea, I have further proof of my genius. I have a website to share with you that has dogs using computers in scientific research. The site's address is: http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/state&id=8049156 Since dogs are already using computers, I think it is time for the computer manufacturers to get busy with a computer for dogs. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Could Use My Own Computer)

My Opinion of Taxes

There have been numerous articles about income tax on the Internet news, and I have decided to bark about the subject today. I want to go on record stating that I have no idea why the United States government doesn't allow a dog to be a deduction on the humans taxes as long as the humans can prove they spent the money on their dog. There are legitimate deductions for dogs (for example, some dogs who provide "certain services"). Since I'm not an expert on that subject, I would suggest that the human who wants to get that deduction check and make sure that it is legitimate for their situation. Most of us dogs don't worry about income tax since our humans take care of us, and they are going to feed us and watch out for us no matter whether we are deductible or not. However, it has come to my attention that the system is not fair for working dogs like myself. I write a blog everyday, and I make no money from the blog. However, I do not qualify for an earned income credit which is available to the working humans who don't make enough money on their jobs to pay taxes. Since I'm not deductible on my humans taxes, isn't it only fair that I should be getting something for my work? I discussed this with Mommy who didn't seem to think it was unfair at all, but I disagree. She is looking at it from the human standpoint, and I think she is being prejudiced. Sure, she pays for my stuff, but this dog would like to have his own money. There are times when the humans get cheap and don't buy a dog everything he would like to have. Unlike the humans, if I made a gazillion dollars, I would not mind paying taxes. We dogs know that there is only so much money one can spend in a lifetime. I am seriously considering another run for the Presidency so that I can right this injustice to dogs. I might add that I have no idea how Mr. Obama feels about this matter, but Bo is in complete agreement with me. I've found that the First Dog is a very intelligent dog, and I'm glad he is one of my pals.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Taxes)