I'm a Big Star Now!!!!

 I have great news for my fans!  Jeff posted a video of Angel and myself on youtube. You are probably wondering what it feels like to be a star..It feels great!  I am already preparing my awards acceptance speech.  Here is the link:

https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=IUw7_73aNbQ


Demon Flash Bandit ( TV Star)

I've Got a New Bone

William went shopping yesterday.  He got me a silver bone with my name engraved on it.  My other one fell off, and the humans would not survive without me around.  He didn't get one for Angel Zoom Smokey.  I would like to think it is because she isn't worth hunting for, but the breeder had her microchipped.  However, I don't want to hurt her feelings so I am going to have a one engraved for her too.

Line 1: Super Bitch
Line 2:  Guess my Human's Name
Line 3:  Guess the address
Line 4:  Guess the Telephone #

Can't you feel the love?  By the way, that was not me---I repeat----not me who was kissing her yesterday.  That was Phantom Fast Snowman, my stunt double.

Demon Flash Bandit (Caring Dog)

Mother's Day Gift for Psycho Mom

Earlier today, as I was shopping on Amazon, I found a cool item I knew I had to share with my readers.  It is a " mothers heart" necklace that can hold up to 5 birthstones of her children..  The interesting thing about this necklace is that you put the birthstones in it yourself.  Finally, a necklace for the insane mom who now has the opportunity to change the crystals with her moods.  This necklace is not for Octomom or that reality show mom who has 300 children.  However, most mothers now have 5 children or less.  M mom had 3 boys so she would still have room for her important fur children---Angel and me.  It would also be useful for moms with adult children.  It would  be a quick way for them to see if they are still in Mom's will.  If your crystal is missing, you won't be getting an inheritance.  NOTE:  that only works from moms who have money to leave behind.  My mom's mom was like that, but it didn't work with my mom.  She said no one should love some just for money.  I've got to hand it  to mom.  She thinks like a dog, and she never loved her mom over money.  Here is the link for the necklace.



http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FFVCIE/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_8?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=A4M31WCHEQF7Z

Demon Flash Bandit ( Sharing a Shopping Treasure)

Dog Rapper

In case my readers have forgotten, Angel and I are in the singing group ,The Howling Huskies.  Of course, I'm only kidding.  I'm sure my readers know all about my musical career.   I have decided to branch out on my own and be a rapper.  I already have  the necessary information street cred with my stand on bird executions.  How many other dogs have done so much to get rid of birds?  The answer is: NONE!!!!!   One of  the most important things to be a successful rapper is the name.  I gave it a lot of thought.  Ice Tea seems quite successful so I needed a name that would bring the kind of comfort that ice tea brings to the humans.  Therefore, I will be called Bacon because bacon makes my tummy happy!  I paid a marketing consultant who did research among dogs, and every dog surveyed loved the name so I picked a winner.  Here is a sample of my first rap song:



Walkin' Down the Street


I was walking down the street past a bird in the tree.
That bird dropped a white bomb on me.
When a bird drops a bomb on this dog's head
that bird will soon be dead.
You don't mess with Demon Flash Bandit
the baddest dog on the planet.

Should I have titled it:  Let's Kill a Bird instead?


Demon Flash Bandit (Rapping Dog)

Protectve Dog at Wotk

Jerry Seinfeld called youtube a "giant garbage can".  Since I recently made a cameo appearance on my brother, Jeff's, youtube channel (Steel Magnolias review) I was offended by Stenfield's statement.  He even had the nerve to say that no one wants to watch cat videos.  I happen to know that many humans love the dog and cat videos.  I think he should watch what he says because the funniest person on his show was Kramer.  What is his problem?  He has money and fame.  Why is he jealous of dogs and cats?  Is it because he has been watching his show, and realized he isn't funny so  he insulted pets because he is jealous of pets.  I did Mommy a favor  because she had all of his "worthless" show on dvd.  I'm sure she will thank me for it when she realizes what I have done. It s my job protect the humans from such garbage.  Yes, I said it-- I know Mommy would prefer to watch dog and cat videos anyway.  I put those Seinfeld dvds where they belong:  in the garbage!

I do have good news too. A couple of days ago, Angel and I had Burger King for dinner which was delicious.  We had B K again today.  It was even better because today we had double cheeseburgers with bacon.  I have yet tomeet a dog that does not LOVE bacon!  I hope all my readers get all the bacon they want!

Demon Flash Bandit (Protective Dog)

Dog Poop is not a Crime.

Are any of the humans sane?  A recent article in the Washington Post reports that, in some cities, there are apartment complexes that are requiring a swab of the dog's mouth to get the dog's individual DNA.  This is so they can match the dog poop that their human that don't pick it up.  Really!!!!  The humans have nothing better to do with their lives but inspect dog poop.  It sounds like an excuse for the humans to obsess about dog poop while acting like they aren't fascinated with it.  Many cities have crack houses, and the humans are worried about the dog poop problem!  No wonder the humans are so dysfunctional.  They worry about stupid stuff.  According to the article,  dog poop gets into the ground water.  Are the humans serious?  Most city water in faucets go through a water treatment plant which cleans up the water.  Besides, what about the deer, squirrels, raccoons, possums, etc. who also poop everywhere.  I think this is a definite case of discrimination against dogs!  What is next?  Are dogs going to be facing criminal charges for pooping?  Are we going to have to watch out for the poop police?  Police don't go to that much trouble and expense to find people who have broken into houses.  By the way,  if a dog eats another dog's poop, will that affect the DNA test?   Why are the humans not mad about birds who are the most evil creatures on the planet.  They poop everywhere too.  I will end this with the philosophical question......if a dog poops in the forest and no human is around to smell it, does it still stink?  Also, do the humans sit around obsessing about dog poop in the forest.  Philosophers have been contemplating these questions as far back as ancient Greece.  Plato wrote a book about dog poop.  I bet my readers were unaware of that fact.  Here is a link to the article.

http://tablet.washingtonpost.com/top/its-like-a-crime-scene-for-poop-dna-used-to-link-dog-owners-to-their-pets-droppings/2015/04/08/145e0cb9a14f99c49545425d862194c0_story.html?tid=kindle-app

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Poop is not a Crime)

Flintstones Meet the Jetsons

After writing my last blog, I discovered that there are humans who think that the Flintstones took place in a post apocalyptic future.  According to conspiracy theorists, the Jetsons happened prior to the Flintstones.  My brother, Jeff, told me about this conspiracy theory.  Jeff is a treasure trove of weird trivial knowledge.  By the way, if you watch Wolfman Jeff do his movie review of Steel Magnolias, you might see a familiar furry face with blue eyes make a cameo appearance on his video.  Here is the link:

http://youtu.be/VaLFJlxty90

1. Anyway, the Flintstones--- Jetsons theory makes a lot of sense to this dog.  It explains why Fred and Wilma had all those modern style appliances in the Stone Age.  Personally I think both were great shows.  I am glad that a historian decided to educate the public.  I try, but it would take up too much of my nap time to educate the humans so I am glad I'm not alone.  There is one thing that bothers me, and I question the historical authenticity.  I do not think Dino the dinosaur can replace a dog.  The Saber Tooth Tiger can replace cats though.  I  like cats, but they can be snobby at times.  One thing I do know is that, if an apocalypse occurs, I know birds are behind it.  I am sharing a link that gives the details:

http://www.cracked.com/quick-fixes/why-flintstones-takes-place-in-post-apocalyptic-future/q

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing a Conspiracy Theory)