Robin Hood: The True Story

Legends, although not always completely true, usually do have some truth to them. This is true of the legend of Robin Hood. Most people are familiar with the typical tale of Robin Hood. He has been depicted in quite a few movies as being a man of noble birth who went on a Crusade, and returned home to find his lands stolen. He then had to deal with the evil Sheriff--probably one of those policemen who goes around shooting at dogs like Keith Shepherd who killed Bear Bear in Maryland, and the one I read about today who shot a chihuahua 3 times after tazering the dog. Two policemen could not handle one 7 pound chihuahua. I'd hate to send them after a 200 pound human criminal. The sad story of the two murdered dogs is a subject for another blog because this blog is about Robin Hood so I will get back on topic. Robin Hood was a skilled archer and swordsman who had a group of devoted followers called his "merry men". Personally, if this dog had to go around wearing those silly tights, I would not have been so merry, but humans get happy over stupid things. He hung out in Sherwood Forest where he stole from the rich to give to the poor. This is the legend that has been passed down through the centuries. As you may know, if you tell one friend a story, and they tell 10 other friends, chances are if you hear the story from the tenth friend, you won't even recognize that it is the story you told originally, and legends work the same way--except over the years, you have a lot more than 10 people to which the story has been passed down. This is why I am going to share the true historical account of Robin Hood. I have spent countless hours (yeah, like I bother to count) doing research on this subject just so I can write this blog and set the story straight.

Robin Hood, as you might have guessed from his name was a stupid bird. He was an outlaw because all birds are evil. He lived in Sherwood Forest because his nest was there. He robbed from everyone, but the main thing he took was snow which made all the sled dogs very mad. They got in touch with the Sheriff who went to arrest Robin Hood, but every time the sheriff got near to him, he dropped a white bomb on the Sheriff's head. This made the Sheriff of Nottingham very unhappy so he suggested that a bunch of archers get together and try to shoot at Robin Hood. However, Robin was out of town at a arts and crafts festival selling a new product he came up with--hoodies--shirts with hoods to keep your head warm when it is cold. In fact, he was only called Robin until he started the Hoodie business, and then Hood was added to his name.

He made millions of pounds (he did live in England so it was English money), and then he disappeared because the Sheriff was still out to get him. Robin was getting tired of dropping white bird bombs and watching out for the sheriff. He and Maid Marion Oriole, who had a wedding with all the forest birds in attendance probably lived happily ever after--no one really knows since they disappeared. I know this story is historically accurate because I found the manuscript on ebay, and it was written by William Dogspeare, a very popular writer and historian of his time.

Demon Flash Bandit (Setting the Legend Straight)

No Toothpaste For This Dog!

I know it may sound like I am bragging, but fact is fact. I have very strong teeth. Most dogs have strong teeth. My teeth can chew through a dingo bone, rawhide bone, or the tire on a car. I could probably chew through steel if I gave it a try. On the other paw, humans have very, very weak teeth. You might ask, Demon Flash Bandit, how do you know their teeth are weaker than ours? The answer is simple. Besides the obvious lack of them chewing on things like rawhide bones, they use something called tooth paste. Yes dogs, their teeth are so weak that they are always trying to make sure they don't fall out by pasting them onto their gums. Yes, it is weird if you ask me. This dog has good teeth and no use for toothpaste.


I have another important subject to ponder. Taco Bell does not sell bells. That just seems wrong to me. Why isn't it called Taco Tacos or Taco Restaurant? Why call it Taco Bell? Wouldn't you think that it was a store selling bells with that name? I know I do.

The latest update in the shooting of Bear Bear is that the shooter has PTSD, yet he is a police officer. Either they don't check out their employees very well or he just wanted to kill a dog that day. This dog is going with the latter.

Demon Flash Bandit (Humans Have to Keep Teeth with Toothpaste)

Bear Bear---The Policeman Who Killed him is Low Life Scum!!!!!!!

Today's blog is about a very sad subject--the shooting of Bear Bear, a 3 year old Siberian Husky at a dog park in Maryland. It seems an off duty federal police officer entered the park with his German Shepherd, Asia, on a leash. Bear Bear went over to play with Asia. (It makes this dog wonder--isn't the purpose of a dog park to let your dog run off leash so why was Asia on a leash?) and the dogs started playing. The policeman, whose name was withheld, decided to get out his gun and shoot Bear Bear because he thought they were fighting, who died from the wounds. I have no idea why a policeman would think it is a good idea to shoot in a public place with other dogs and humans around. The local police were going to sweep the whole event under the proverbial rug until the story got into the media and Internet, and they got so many calls of protest about it. The following day, they announced that there will be an investigation. This bothers me because how can you trust them to do an honest investigation when they were so quick to hush the whole thing up and pat the fellow officer on the back? This is the problem with the police. There are many good police officers, but the job also attracts a group who are scum who want power. They think that if they carry a gun and have other police back them up no matter what they do, they are above the law. This makes the good officers look bad by association. Personally, I think the good officers should quit sticking up for them, and let them face the consequences of their actions. I would like to know why the off duty policeman had to bring his own gun to the dog park and why did he have it loaded with hollow bullets? Why did he feel that the only way to deal with the situation was to start shooting. It sounds like this man has some serious mental issues, and should be relieved of his job and his gun and never be allowed to carry a gun again. I hope Asia is taken away from him. My theory is that if you could ask Asia, Asia would tell you that he is a worthless piece of scum!!!! I have made it my mission to make sure this piece of garbage gets what he deserves. I will update this situation in my blog as it develops, and I hope that my readers will let as many people as they can know what happened to Bear Bear. Even if the "system" lets him get by with it, that does not mean that regular people can't ostracize him and let him know how it feels to be lower than a possum on the popularity scale. I can only add that I think all us dogs will be praying that the Big Guy makes sure Bear Bear gets justice.
Demon Flash Bandit (Demanding Justice for Bear Bear)