How Much Wood Does a Wood Chuck Chuck????

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck is a woodchuck could chuck wood? Yes, this is the type of stupid thing that the humans wonder about because humans are idiots. If you really want to know the answer, the best way to get it is to ask a woodchuck if he chucks wood; and if so, how much can he chuck? Since we have woodchucks that hang around in our back yard, I went out and asked them so this is the definitive answer because it is direct from the woodchuck's mouth. The woodchuck, whose name coincidentally is Chuck, had no idea what I was asking. He had no idea what chucking wood entails, and does wood even have a tail? I don't think it does, but I'm no expert on wood. Chuck does not chuck wood because he is busy digging holes and doing woodchuck activities like shopping and going to the theater. Woodchucks have a long tradition of attending plays and movies, and have quite a reputation as actors. I'm sure many of my readers are familiar with the television show, Chuck, which starred an all woodchuck cast. There are also the woodchucks who own franchises for the Chuck E. Cheese's restaurants. Why do you think it is called "Chuck" E. Cheese? Anyway, with all those things that the woodchucks have going on in their lives, they don't have time for chucking wood so the inevitable answer to that age-old question, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood is: woodchucks don't chuck wood. They are busy doing other things. Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Woodchucks)