Vote Demon Flash Bandit for President!

Since the Presidential election is fast approaching, I think I should tell you more about myself since I am running for that office. I was born in a barn in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan. Obviously, my parents did not have health insurance which is why I was not born in a veterinary hospital. I was born in late November so it was cold in the barn, but despite not having all my fur, I did just great. I was adopted by some nice humans who treat me like I should be treated. Normally, I would be very happy just hanging out and enjoying my life, but I can't do so when I know there are so many problems for dogs. We can't get a driver's license to drive cars. We can't go into a lot of places even though those places serve or sell delicious food that we would enjoy eating. If I am elected President, I will make life better for dogs everywhere. I will also make sure that the government quits spending money on any programs involving birds or squirrels because they are a waste of taxpayer dollars. In fact, if any money is spent on birds, it will be for weapons of mass birdstruction. Birds are horrible creatures who should not be allowecd to live. I hope I have your vote for President because it is time to have a dog leading a country instead of the stupid humans! Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Candidate for President of the U.S.)