Interplanetary Outsourcing

For those of you who saw the item on the Internet news about the UFO seen over China, which is just the latest in a string of sightings, I am here to put every one's mind at ease on the subject. As many humans living in the United States are well aware, many jobs that used to be done here are being outsourced to China, India, and other small nations around the world because the people in those countries are willing to work for cheaper wages. China has become one of the main places where those jobs are shipped. Do you really think space aliens wouldn't hear about it while they are hanging around our atmosphere out in space? The UFOs are carrying corporate representatives from their planet to negotiate having their products made in China. They even have alien transportation methods so that shipping will be a cinch--they can just teleport the objects back to their planet. The next time you see a report about a UFO over China, don't worry about it. You know it is just an alien corporation trying to save money on production costs. I refer to it as Interplanetary Outsourcing.

I will admit that not all the UFOs are here with corporate representatives. Some of them, particularly those seen in other countries, are here to try one of our Earth restaurants. If they had any sense, they would be at Burger King, home of the Whopper. You can't get any better food than a delicious burger from Burger King. I have been eating them since I was a puppy, and I might add that Burger King had the good sense to get the rights to use children's meal toys from Marmaduke and Cats and Dogs II. Great burgers and good taste in toy products--what more can you ask for from a restaurant? If I happen to see an alien when I go to Burger King, I'll say hello from everyone. It is always a good idea to make a good impression on strangers.

Demon Flash Bandit (Interplanetary Outsourcing)

Demon Flash Bandit, Artist

I have many hats (which I refuse to wear)--I am a friend to my humans, the owner of an Internet toy store (http://www.demondigstoys.weebly.com) a writer(http://demonflashbandit.blogspot.com), and now I have added artist to the list. I never planned on being an artist. I even thought perhaps art was beyond my abilities. However, I remembered that as a puppy, I got into Mommy's craft paint and added some lovely orange freckles to my nose. It was then that I realized that I, Demon Flash Bandit, had a rare talent for art. I have to admit I let it lie dormant for several years, but just last week, I got the urge to create a painting that could only be done by me, Demon Flash Bandit. I got out some paint and a canvas and I dipped my paws into the paint, and painted a masterpiece. I like to call it "What Makes my Tail Wag" and I painted a Burger King Whopper on the canvas. I have seen art in museums and, although I don't mean to brag, fact is fact. My painting is better than any of the ones in art museums. I have had so many dogs tell me that my painting has inspired them to eat dinner. What more can an artist ask for in life? Perhaps my next painting will be of Yummy Chummies.

Demon Flash Bandit (Artist)