It has come to my attention that the human population is unaware of a serious drug problem throughout the world. The problem involves cats. As if catnip isn't bad enough that many cats have resorted to hanging out with the criminal element under the influence of catnip, now we have to worry about a whole new problem--cheese dust! Kennels are full of cats who are strung out on catnip, but the whole cheese dust issue has been covered up so well that very few are even aware of the problem which is a lot worse than a cat on catnip.
It all started in 1969 with the NASA moon mission. As any scientist will tell you, the moon is made of cheese. When the astronauts went there in 1969, they brought home cheese dust, and cats all over the world went nuts. Everyone knows that cats love cheese so cats cannot resist the cheese dust. How many cats must be addicted before governments around the world put their paws down to stop this horrible threat? I say it is time to gather the addicted cats and put them in cheese dust rehab before they destroy society. Don't cats annoy us dogs enough when they are sober? We dogs do not need cheese dust addicted cats running around!
Demon Flash Bandit (Cats Must Not be Allowed to be Addicted to Cheese Dust)