Help--call Deputy Dog, call the Canine Cops, call the Puppy Police....just don't call PETA those idiots hate a dog like me with AKC papers. What do I need the doggy authorities to deal with? I hate to write this because I love my humans and I know they love me, but last night Mommy tried to feed me something called macaroni and cheese. Sure, she might be dumb enough to eat it, but I could tell from across the room that there was no meat scent in the bowl. Therefore, I would not even get near enough to smell it up close. I even suspect those little elbow looking things might have been vegetables. Mommy said they were pasta, but I think pasta is just another word for vegetables.
This dog does not eat vegetables. I have let my humans know this numerous times in the past when they have tried to sneak some veggies into my food, and I have not eaten them. Mommy also offered some to Angel Zoom Smokey. and she also refused to eat it. That dog will try stuff that I won't go near so I know it has to be bad when she won't eat it either. Thank dog I am a genius who isn't fooled into eating the human food that is inedible. Have you seen brussel sprouts? Humans eat them, and I don't even think they are food!
Demon Flash Bandit (Food Inspector)