Walmart Declares War

In keeping with their annual holiday tradition, Walmart has announced its new adversary in its war on other businesses. Usually it is Amazon, but since that is getting a bit boring, the wise humans running Walmart have decided to go another route this year. They have declared war on the movie studios. Yes, Walmart has decided to get into the entertainment industry. I think this is a natural progression since Walmart can be a very entertaining place to shop. I think this should have the movie studios scared out of their wits (if they have wits) because Walmart is already a very entertaining place to shop what with all the interesting customers that they seem to draw through their doors. It is almost like there is some kind of force field that robs humans of their brains as soon as they enter the lobby of the local Walmart store. Yes, normal humans who can think and are quite normal suddenly become blubbering blobs of stupidity when they get inside the store. I know all the dogs reading this know what I am talking about, and it is sad because humans aren't nearly as smart as us dogs to begin with. The first movie is going to star their favorite spokesman, Larry the Cable Guy who will change his name to Larry the Walmart Shopper. Of course, Larry the Cable Guy is too expensive so they rolled back the price they were willing to pay and hired an illegal alien Larry the Cable Guy impersonator for the part. This movie is going to have a budget of $5,000, and they would appreciate it if the humans would go to Kickstarter to give them the funding for this project. We wouldn't want them to take a chance on losing so much money, would we? If they lose money like that, they might have to start shopping at their own stores, and that would be tragic for them since they would lose their brains as soon as they walk into the lobby. There is no way around that. Einstein would have become stupid if he had shopped at Walmart, but it would explain his weird hairstyle. Many Walmart customers don't seem to have any fashion sense whatsoever. Demon Flash Bandit (Walmart Declares War Again)