Practicing for Halloween!

I want to wish all my readers a Happy Halloween! I have personally been busy getting everything ready for my annual trick or treating marathon. Halloween has to be one of the best holidays of the year because it is all about the candy, and I love candy! I want to remind all the dogs who will be out collecting candy to be safe--watch out for cars, and be sure and use your best sad faces. The humans are suckers for a dog's "begging face". You'll get more candy than you ever thought possible. It does not hurt to practice the begging face in the mirror before you go out. A dog can never get too much practice when candy is riding on the outcome of the look. I've got to go now. I've still got some practicing to do although I can't imagine the humans ever being able to turn me down....I"m going to hit the candy jackpot tonight!

Demon Flash Bandit (Ready for Halloween)

Trick or Treat--Not Just For Dogs!!!!

Since tomorrow is Halloweeen, I am going to write about how exciting the anticipation of trick or treating is to the average dog. I myself have been preparing a super large treat bag because, like most dogs, I love treats! Human candy is delicious. I can't tell you how much I love to have candy like Mike and Ikes or Swedish fish. (It is even fun hearing the fish scream in Swedish before I bite them--it could only be improved by making them Swedish birds!) As you can imagine, dogs everywhere are getting all the little last minute things done--you know....like barking trick or treat and barking thank you so that the person giving the candy will know that you are a polite, well bred dog. Dogs like to practice things like that since normally we don't have to bark out specific phrases. I plan to go as a sled dog, and you should see my costume--it is very realistic. Amid all this fun, I was checking out the Internet today, and I discovered that some of the humans don't think dogs should get trick or treat candy at Halloween. I don't know why some humans are so stupid, but before any of my human readers get any ideas about agreeing with the stupid humans, here is a video I discovered. This video is hilarious and shows how dogs can get revenge on the humans who have such stupid ideas. I think you'll agree that it is best to give trick or treat candy to the dogs in the neighborhood after seeing what the dogs did to get revenge! Here is the address:
http://www.care2.com/greenliving/dogs-play-trick-or-treat-on-halloween-fun-video.html

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to Trick or Treat)

That is the Moon!

As usual, I have found a news item that I think deserves to be talked about in my blog. A human called emergency services because he spotted a UFO (Unidentified Flying Object). Obviously, this is something that a human does not expect to see so naturally, he called to report it. After all, it could have been a takeover by space aliens so it is important to inform the proper authorities. However, in this case, it was just the moon he saw. This dog is tired of the moon causing so much trouble. When there is a full moon, it causes humans with the tendency to become werewolves to transform into the werewolf identity. The full moon is also linked with the humans going crazy which is called "moon madness". Anyway, now it is fooling regular humans who think it is a UFO. I think the moon should be warned that this behavior is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated. I must admit that it would not surprise me if the man had been visiting the local pub before he called because most sober humans can tell the difference between the moon and a UFO. For those who want to read more about this story, here is the link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/28/man-mistakes-the-moon-forufo_n_1064009.html

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Can Recognize the Moon)

Forests Hide Werewolves!

Prince Charles has announced that he and Vlad the Impaler of Romania are relatives. If any family has a right to complain about relatives attending holiday dinners, I think the English royal family is among them. Can you imagine having Thanksgiving dinner with Vlad the Impaler? If the dinner is at his castle, you would have to go through a forest of humans who are impaled to trees to get to the castle. By the time you get there, I would have lost my appetite! I know that any of us can have ancestors that we aren't particularly proud of. I'm sure I probably have some Siberian Husky relative who has even helped out a bird, although I would hope that dog just didn't realize how evil birds are when he made that mistake. However, if I found out that I had a relative who did that, I would be trying to keep it quiet, but that is because I have pride which obviously, the British royal family does not. I know they have no pride because I saw the stupid hats being worn at the royal wedding. A human with pride does not show up wearing a hat that looks like something a space alien would refuse to wear. I'm not kidding. It would not have surprised me if I had seen someone wearing a cone shaped hat made from aluminum foil!

Anyway, Prince Charles has bought some land in Romania, and he says the forests in Transylvania are a national treasure. Being a dog, I happen to like trees, and I have done my part to help keep them watered. However, I'm not sure if having a forest in an area that has werewolves is a wise idea. I know this because one of my human great grandmothers came from Romania, and she talked about werewolves. She had to carry a stick to keep them at bay. I guess if Prince Charles wants to take his chances with the werewolves, that is his business; but I doubt that they care if he is the Prince of Great Britain. I suspect werewolves pay little attention to titles like that. I hope he doesn't meet up with one because they sound kind of mean!

Just so you know that I am not making this news story up, go to this web address to read all about it:
http://www.inquisitr.com/154582/vlad-the-impaler-prince-charles/

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Talking About Werewolves)

No Snow For My Area---Birds Are Evil!!!!

Today I am one very annoyed dog. I just found out that the weather service has predicted snow for the northeastern United States. Since I am a Siberian Husky, I happen to love cold weather and snow. Our weather here in lower Michigan is cool, but there are no predictions of snow. I know that birds have to be behind this indignity to a dog. Those birds are snow thieves, and for those of you who have not read my theories in the past, I will explain why. Warmer climates that get no snow, and have little cold weather have lots of birds. Coincidence? Of course not. It is a massive conspiracy among the evil feathered birds to take over the world! For those of you who live in colder climates, do you ever notice how the birds are always singing in the spring? If you spoke bird, you would know that they are singing about how happy they are that they have come to steal the snow. I happen to know this because I am bi-lingual-species so I speak fluent bird. I hear their evil plans and their horrible songs. I only wish the humans could understand just how big a threat they are. However, humans, as usual, go on with their lives not having a clue that they are being surrounded by evil, snow stealing birds unless they read my blog! I'm sure that the lack of snow in lower Michigan is due to the birds' personal hatred for me. They want to keep me from having some lovely blizzard type weather. This is why I hate birds and don't think they deserve to live. That is this dog's opinion, and as such, is not open to question.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hater)

KRYPTO is not a CAT: KRYPTO is a DOG!

I am tail spanking mad over the new artist depiction of Krypto, Superdog. Yes, that is correct, I'd like to take the artist from his studio and spank him with my tail. What kind of jerk makes Krypto, who happens to be a very popular dog, look like a big cat? What was that artist thinking? Krypto is a DOG!!!! Has the artist never seen a dog? Is the artist a cat? Is the artist a bird? I can understand if the artist is a bird since birds are always causing trouble. I am going to share the web site with you so that you can see for yourself that this is an unacceptable depiction of Krypto. http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/JakeLester/news/?a=48959

Don't get me wrong--I don't hate cats as some dogs do, but that does not mean I want to see a dog portrayed as a cat. We dogs have our standards! It reminds me of a movie I watched called, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. In this movie, Jay and Silent Bob, a couple of stoners, head for Hollywood to stop the production of a comic book movie based on their lives named "Bluntman and Chronic". When I watched this movie, I thought it was funny because I couldn't understand how any movie could make those two morons look worse than they are in real life. However, now I am sympathetic to their plight because, speaking for dogs everywhere, this cat looking Krypto is making all us dogs look bad. I think all us dogs need to head for wherever this comic book publisher is located so that we can put a stop to this ridiculous depiction of us. I personally will stand over the artist and make sure that he draws a new Krypto who looks like a DOG which is what he or she was supposed to do in the first place. My tail is ready to do some spanking. Wish me well!

Demon Flash Bandit (Artist Needs Inspiration From a Real DOG)

Dogs Are Not Into Bungee Jumping

The humans do a lot of stupid things. In my opinion, bungee jumping is one of them. I have never seen a dog do a bungee jump which is because we dogs have more sense than the humans. Most of the time, inanimate objects aren't into bungee jumping either. However, today I found that this is not always the case. I am going to share a video with my readers of a bungee jumping car. I know some cars like the "General Lee" on the Dukes of Hazzard television show like to jump a lot, but until today, I never saw one bungee jump. Here is the address:
http://www.autoblog.com/2011/10/25/next-up-for-the-chevy-sonic-bungee-jumping/

Personally, I have no plans to buy this kind of car because I don't want to be riding somewhere and have my car decide to start bungee jumping when I am in it. I have no desire to do any daredevil type stunts when I am out for a nice car ride. Some of the humans will buy it because many of them have no brains, but I'm hoping that they don't have dogs to take with them. If so, they are going to have one very unhappy dog in the car!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Bungee Jumping Dog)