Useless Birds

When I started warning humans of the plot among birds to take over the world, it never occurred to me that my stand against birds could hurt my humans.  A mama bird has built a nest in mom's hanging flower basket on the front porch
  Yesterday, she attacked my brother William when he was entering the house.  I can only assume that she thought he was sent to collect rent for the nest.  The stupid bird is free loading off my mom's generosity, and that is how the bird acts to one of  mom's babies.  Birds spend their entire life napping and yapping.  A lot of those birds are too lazy to hunt for worms.  Instead they expect humans to leave them bird seed and provide them with luxury pools called bird baths.  I am not making this us.  Stores and catalogs sell them.  Some humans (including my humans) buy fancy houses for them.  My humans feed me too, but I work for my food.  I keep the humans company and I watch for burglers and keep the squirrels in line.  Even cats are more useful than birds even though dogs are better at being pets for the humans.

I bark for dogs all over the world when I say that feeding and providing homes for birds should be illegal.  When I become president, aiding and abetting birds will be a felony. Together, dogs will get rid of birds.  You are welcome!

Demon Flash Bandit (Campaigning)

Memories

"Memories light the corners of my mind
Mystic water colored memories of a dog I knew.

Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
Oh, what could have been."

If only humans minded their own business
Why not leave us dogs alone?
If we had the chance to do it all again,
Would we? Could we?"

Every time I hear a dog howling this song, I think of that lovely blue eyed black and white Husky that I have met.  It was like I was looking  into a mirror.  I met her outside Petsmart in Brighton Michigan.  Her human had picked her up after her grooming.  She had a sexy pink ribbon in her fur.  I fell in love with her as soon as I saw her despite the boring odors from the bath.  I know she felt the same way about me.  I lifted my leg to pee on her, and our humans intervened and we were forced to part.
It was many years ago and I haven't seen her since.  However, whenever we go to Petsmart, I look for her.  Why do the humans interfere with our  dreams?

Demon Flash Bandit (Lost Love)

Motor City Comic-Con

I learned this morning that my pal, Whitley has crossed over the rainbow bridge.  I will miss Whitley, as will many other dogs and humans who knew her.

My nonfur brothers, William and Jeff went to the Motor City Comic-Con over the weekend. Humom stayed home with us.  I thought about going, but when a celebrity blogger like myself walks into a crowd like that, the crowd goes nuts.  I didn't want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt by the mob.  Being a celebrity dog is not easy.  Perhaps I should sell some of my fur on ebay to make the mob happy.  It isn't like I don't give it generously to my humans.  Ask any human who is owned by a Siberian husky.  We give enough fur to create another husky.  We wanted to stay home with humom anyway. She didn't feel like going.  Mom did have Jeff get Lea Thompson's autograph for her.  Lea was the actress who was in Back to the Future and that terrific movie, Howard the Duck.

Burt Ward, who played Robin in the original Bat man television series was there.   I will write more about him in a future blog.  He lives a very useful life rescuing dogs.  Adam West was also there.  Jeff got his autograph, but Mom said she would not pay $80. for it.  When she used to watch the show, she preferred Robin.  Since he now helps dogs, she had impeccably good taste even as a child.

Demon Flash Bandit. (Chilling With Humom)

Chef Demon.Flash Bandit

I am very proud of my latest accomplishment.  I will soon be receiving my Bachelor of Culinary Arts degree.  I graduated as the top dog thanks to my idea.to add bacon to everything on the menu.  Dogs know that bacon is good with every other food.

Look, but Don't Touch

According to Angel Zoom Smokey the world is engaged in a conpiracy to steal her beloved thundercoat.  I have written a blog about how Angel would not allow the humans to dress her in human type clothing.  Now she loves her thunder coat so much, she won't let the humans take it off of her.  It is falling off of her, but she refuses to.allow the humans to adjust it for her.  If anyone even touches her thunder coat, she takes off
  Angel is such a silly dog!

De

Let's Boogie

How many  human puppies have had adults tell them to be good or the boogie man will get them?  The Boogie Man likes to hide and sneak away with a child.   The child is never seen again so I assume the Boogie Man eats them.  I heard a sound under humom's bed so I decided to see if the Boogie Man was hiding under her bed.  Imagine my surprise when I saw Angel Zoom Smokey boogying under the bed.  She was dancing so enthusiastically.  Imagine my surprise when the Boogie Man turned out to be a dog.  In the future, I will use the correct name:  Boogie Dog.  Children, you don't have to be afraid.  The Boogie Man isn't a monster, he is a dancing dog.

Demoln Flash Bandit (uncovering Truth About the Boogie Man)

Party Dog

I threw a party for my dog pals, and we decided to party like humans.  I watch a lot of television so I am aware that human partying involves smoking.  Yeah, we were getting high smelling the ham and bacon smoking.  When it was thoroughly smoked, we ate it, and it was delicious.  Humans know how to party!  I plan to have another party that imcludes my blog readers.  I think we'll have a good time.  I've never had a bad time when bacon is served.  My only complaint is that there is  never enough bacon.  Am I right dogs?

Demon Flash Bandit ( Pawty Dog)