Monday, May 23, 2016
When I started warning humans of the plot among birds to take over the world, it never occurred to me that my stand against birds could hurt my humans. A mama bird has built a nest in mom's hanging flower basket on the front porch
Yesterday, she attacked my brother William when he was entering the house. I can only assume that she thought he was sent to collect rent for the nest. The stupid bird is free loading off my mom's generosity, and that is how the bird acts to one of mom's babies. Birds spend their entire life napping and yapping. A lot of those birds are too lazy to hunt for worms. Instead they expect humans to leave them bird seed and provide them with luxury pools called bird baths. I am not making this us. Stores and catalogs sell them. Some humans (including my humans) buy fancy houses for them. My humans feed me too, but I work for my food. I keep the humans company and I watch for burglers and keep the squirrels in line. Even cats are more useful than birds even though dogs are better at being pets for the humans.
I bark for dogs all over the world when I say that feeding and providing homes for birds should be illegal. When I become president, aiding and abetting birds will be a felony. Together, dogs will get rid of birds. You are welcome!
Demon Flash Bandit (Campaigning)