Angel Zoom Smokey is Mad at Johnny Depp

Remember if you want a t-shirt with this image, go to my blog, "Free T-Shirt Contest" written Jan. 31, 2015 for details on how to enter for your chance to win!

Angel Zoom Smokey has been mad all week.  She is mad that Johnny Depp got married.  If you are thinking it is because she was in love with Johnny Depp, you would be wrong.  She said he is not her type.  She prefers her men to walk on 4 paws and be covered in fur.  If you are wondering why she is mad, it is because she was not invited to the wedding, and she heard that they were serving chicken and cake, and she wanted her share of both.  I have to admit that I wasnt too happy that I wasn't invited.  I was invited to that wedding shindig that the royal family had for that Prince guy and Kate Middleton.  We went even though they were serving fruit cake (a royal tradition) which explains why the royal family always look so miserable.  I would be miserable too if I had to eat fruit cake.  In fact, I have been told that fruit cake is only around to give as a Christmas gift.  There are fruit cakes being given as Christmas gifts that were originally given to the Christ child at the nativity.  You didn't think Joseph and Mary were going to eat anything so nasty, did you?  Actually, one from the nativity is on display at the Smithsonian in Washington DC in the "it really isn't food, but some humans think it is" section.  I'm still having a rough time forgiving Johnny for having that bird on his head as Tonto.  I liked the Lone Ranger movie, but I do not have any use for birds.  At least that was a dead bird.  If he had a live bird, I would have been leading a protest against the movie outside the theatre.  I do hope he is happy, but if this marriage doesn't work and he marries again, he had better include Angel Zoom Smokey at his wedding if he doesn't want to get one of her "puppy slaps of justice"!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Enjoy Eating at Weddings)

Building a Snow Husky is Too Much Work

Again, I want to remind my readers that I am running a contest for a free t-shirt with this image on it.  It is open world wide and details about entry in the contest are in my blog entry, Contest for a Free T-Shirt written on Jan. 28, 2015.

We have been having delightful weather here.  There was about 18 inches of snow, and as a siberian husky, I think this is the type of weather that I would travel on vacation to enjoy.  Do my humans agree with me?  Of course not, those idiots would prefer some tropical place where it never gets cold.  Angel and I have barked about building a snow husky, but decided it is more fun just to play in the snow.  Building a snow husky sounds like too much work to us.  Since the snow reminds me of Christmas, I have decided to let the humans buy me gifts to celebrate the snow which I am calling snow gifts.  I hope they go along with it because a dog can always use new toys and more treats!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Snow)

Movie Unreview: American Sniper

Don't forget--I am giving this t-shirt away.  Contest open world wide, and details are in my blog of January 31 titled "Free T-Shirt Contest"!


I will begin this movie unreview by stating that I have not actually seen this movie nor do I have any plans to see it.  It is the story of a real sniper in Iraq named Chris Kyle.  Chris is not to be mistaken for the Kyle in South Park because Chris Kyle is a human, and Kyle from South Park is a cartoon--or as they like to be referred to-as a living impaired person. Kyle was a Navy Seal which means that his sniperdom was quite an accomplishment since he is the first seal on record to shoot a gun--or even carry a gun for that matter.  I refuse to see this movie because it is bad enough that over the centuries, humans have had horses, and dogs help them in battle and risk their lives,  I draw the line when it comes to seals.  Seals and dol[lins are such nice creatures that I think they should left alone to swim around and enjoy life.  Birds like carrier pigeons have gotten involved, but that is okay because they are birds, and birds are evil!  I'm sure some of my readers will ask why I didn't watch this movie before doing a  review on it.  If you look at the title, it is not a review, it is an unreview.  Besides, I don't tend to enjoy movies that spend most of the movie shooting at people.  I watched Snow Dogs for the 2 millionth time instead, and it was time well spent!  My movie rating:  don't bother to watch American Sniper--watch a dog movie instead,

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Pizza Bones are Delicious!

Before I begin my usual blog, I want to remind my readers about the t-shirt contest for the shirt with the magazine centerfold on it.  You can enter by leaving a comment or e-mailing me at demonflashbandit@gmail.com.  There are no limit to the amount of times you can enter, and the contest ends Feb. 28.  It is open world wide, and the details are on my blog, Free T-Shirt  Contest written on January 31.I

I suppose by now everyone has heard that Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, has predicted 6 more weeks of winter.  My humans aren't too pleased, but I HATE it when spring comes early.  I also checked with the Howell, MI nature center to see what Woody the groundhog had to say.  Woody was sick this year so his stand-in, Murray took over.   He also said there is going to be 6 more weeks of winter so he and Phil agree with each other on the forecast.  In honor of their terrific forecast, I promise that this dog won't be chasing any groundhogs this year.  However, I will continue to chase squirrels because that is just fun!


For those of you who didn't get to watch the sports event of the year, Ruff won over Fluff at the Puppy Bowl.  In my opinion, this is the only sporting event worth watching.  Thanks, Animal Planet for quality programming.

I have been missing out on a great food item for the past 11 years.  I have always refused to try some foods and pizza has been among them.  Yesterday I was hungry, and Mommy had a pizza bone flavored with cheese and butter so I took it and ate it.  It was delicious so I was given more.  Then I realized that I have been missing out on them for the past 11 years.  Yes, even a genius dog like myself makes the occasional mistake, but it won't happen again!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Pizza Bones)

Free T-Shirt Contest

I have some exciting news to report in today's blog!!!!!  The magazine cover that features Angel Zoom Smokey that I covered on a previous blog is now availabe on a t-shirt! The best part is that I will be giving one away free of charge--yeah--you don't have to give up any bones or treats to get it.  All you have to do is email my gmail account at demonflashbandit@gmail.com  and you are entered in the contest to get this wonderful shirt.  When you leave a comment on my blog you will also be automatically entered in the contest, and also if you share the contest on FB, you will get an entry.  However, write and let me know you shared the comment because my secretary, being a very poor computer person probably has no idea how to tell.  This contest is open to anyone including those in other countries as long as the customs in that country will allow it to be shipped.  Some countries might not allow this king of thing.  The shirt will also be ordered in whatever size the winner wants it to be so a chihuahua won't be getting a shirt meant for a Great Dane although these will be in human sizes.  I don't care for clothing so I don't want any dog subjected to it.  However it is fun to make the humans wear it.  The contest ends at midnight Feb. 28 so you have an entire month to enter.  GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!  Since only one lucky person will win, if you want a shirt, contact me at my email address above and you can find out how to order one.

Demon Flash Bandit (Generous Dog)

Water Heater: Most Useless Invention Ever Made

As usual, whenever something happens around here, my blog suffers as a result.  This time there isn't even a good excuse for my humom neglecting my blog--the water heater tank died.  Yes, dogs one of the most useless appliances ever invented went on the fritz and the humans have to drop everything and make getting a new tank top priority.  You would think the humans would be celebrating the water heater's demise.  It is mainly used to take showers.  As anyone who has read my past blogs on the subject of bathing.....I'm against it!   What a bunch of idiot humans here who work so hard for no good reason!  They had a "get out of showers free" card and they didnt use it!

Demon Flash Bandit (Catching Up on News)

Call Deputy Dog--My Humans are Annoying Me

Help--call Deputy Dog, call the Canine Cops, call the Puppy Police....just don't call PETA those idiots hate a dog like me with AKC papers.  What do I need the doggy authorities to deal with?  I hate to write this because I love my humans and I know they love me, but last night Mommy tried to feed me something called macaroni and cheese.  Sure, she might be dumb enough to eat it, but I could tell from across the room that there was no meat scent in the bowl.  Therefore, I would not even get near enough to smell it up close.  I even suspect those little elbow looking things might have been vegetables.  Mommy said they were pasta, but I think pasta is just another word for vegetables.
This dog does not eat vegetables.  I have let my humans know this numerous times in the past when they have tried to sneak some veggies into my food, and I have not eaten them.  Mommy also offered some to Angel Zoom Smokey. and she also refused to eat it.  That dog will try stuff that I won't go near so I know it has to be bad when she won't eat it either.  Thank dog I am a genius who isn't fooled into eating the human food that is inedible.  Have you seen brussel sprouts?  Humans eat them, and I don't even think they are food!

Demon Flash Bandit (Food Inspector)