Demon Flash Bandit: Corporate Consultant

I'm having a wonderful visit with Deputy Dawg. I'm so glad he was able to get away from his job and visit me this weekend. Perhaps he can come and visit me more often in the future.

Today's blog subject is about McDonalds. I have read several items in the news lately about that company. The first is how the corporation is not happy that their "McJobs" are considered to be underpaid and filled by uneducated humans. They plan to change this by telling the humans that their employees are not underpaid and uneducated. The other news item is that they are going to tone down their long time "mascot" Ronald McDonald to appeal to an older, more sophisticated clientele. These two news items mean one thing to this dog--they need some new humans running the corporation. The fact that their average "crew member" is underpaid is a fact. Most McDonalds restaurants pay minimum wage for an employee who is starting to work there. Sure, in 6 months, they might get another 25 cents, but they seldom get more than 10 cents because the restaurant they work at is losing money. The amazing thing about this is that McDonalds can be making record profits on Wall Street, but their individual restaurants are always "losing" money. Yet despite this, they continue operating these locations for decades.

I have some good ideas for the McDonalds Corporation. Try paying your employees a "living wage". If you pay more money, you can be pickier about who you hire, and you will also not have to worry about people considering your jobs to be McJobs. You might even have humans WANT to work at your restaurants. I know this is a foreign concept for the humans at the top, but that is fact. Some of these executives make more money than they can ever spend, but they still fight the idea of paying their employees who actually make the money for them enough. I have a suggestion that might help them understand. I think all the executives should have to show up and actually do the work they expect their lower employees to do for at least one week a year, and have them receive the same pay. Then maybe they can understand why these jobs are called McJobs.

I also think it is wrong to shove the clown aside. He has been part of the company for years. The "sophisticated clientele will get their coffee there no matter who the "mascot" happens to be. It isn't like the mascot is hanging around the restaurant everyday. I can guarantee you that the sophisticated humans aren't stopping in for the atmosphere. No matter what you order there, it is still a McDonalds, and they aren't known for their elegance. I would love to spend a couple of days as a consultant for the McDonalds corporation. This is the problem with putting humans in charge--they don't think like us dogs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Available for Corporate Consultations)

Available to be Burger King Spokesdog

I read a news article that says that Burger King Corporation says that 85% of their 7,200 locations need a facelift. The facelift would cost about $500,000 per store. I want to know why the corporation is announcing this. What does the King think? Shouldn't he be the one to decide on something like that? I called his castle to see if I could get an interview, and he had no idea why that announcement would be made. If he wants it done, he will just make it a law and all the BK restaurants would have to do what the King says. I think these so called "corporate executives" are trying to upstage the Burger King, and I don't like it. They had better watch it since I did hear the King say that he might have to order them to be beheaded. You don't mess with the King!!!!! Anyway, it isn't that I really care if they remodel or not, but I do not want to see the price of my burgers go up because, if they do, the humans might get cheap and try to get me to eat the competitors burgers. This dog happens to prefer BK and I have refused to eat the competitors burgers. If BK wants to improve their market share, they need to hire me as their spokesdog. I will work for Burger King so that makes it convenient for them. You know the burgers are good if Demon Flash Bandit loves them! My opinion is so much more compelling that a facelift.

Demon Flash Bandit (Willing to be BK Spokesdog)

My Conclusion

I usually check out the news on aol.com everyday, and one thing that I find interesting is that humans are allowed to comment on the news stories. Many of the comments mention "Obama types", and usually those comments are not favorable. For example, I read one about bed bugs, and several comments said that bed bugs were caused by "Obama types". Of course, this dog had to do some thinking to understand the comment, but since I am a very intelligent dog, I put all the facts together to form my conclusion. First of all, Mr. Obama is the President so he is in politics. He also tends to wear suits. Therefore, I came to the conclusion that if you own a hotel, and don't want bed bugs, do not allow the room to be rented to Congressmen and Senators because politicians must be what the comments mean by "Obama types". I've even heard plenty of the humans talk about how politicians are sleazy types so I think this dog has come to the right conclusion--as always. I think it would be wise not to let corporate executives have a room also--they tend to wear suits and hang out with the politicians.

To be fair, the article didn't say that any particular group was at fault for bed bugs which makes me wonder--do some people who comment even read what they are commenting on? Perhaps they just have too much time on their paws. I would suggest they do something useful with their time like learn to read. It would make their comments sound more intelligent. Of course, with humans making comments, you can only get so much intelligence--it isn't like they are dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit (Politicians: Not Popular Group)