Bronx Cobra in my Yard---I Don't Think So!

Since the Bronx Cobra has been located at the Reptile House of the Bronx Zoo (at least that is what the zoo WANTS us to believe), there has been no official news of any tweats from the snake. However, just as the humans have "copycats" (notice the cat part of the word--they aren't copydogs), I have discovered that the snake has a copycat that I met myself in my own yard. I met this snake "lookalike' creature, but the creature seems a little too small to be a snake so I came inside and checked the Internet. As usual, I was right. The creature is an earthworm. This earthworm had bought itself a hooded jacket so it would look like a cobra, and it was telling me how it had escaped from the Bronx Zoo, and hitched a ride on a semi truck which ended up here in Michigan. I think the stupid worm thought I would fall for the lie, but he did not realize that he is dealing with the doggy genius of Demon Flash Bandit. He told me not to get too near to him or he would bite and inject his poisonous venom into me. I didn't believe him, but I didn't put a paw near him until I checked to make sure he was lying. I thought about crushing him with my mighty paw after I discovered he had lied, but I happened to go to this site: http://yucky.discovery.com/flash/worm/pg000216.html Sure, worms may look disgusting, but it seems they do a service for us dogs and humans too so I decided to let him live. However, I don't plan to make him a pet, and he definitely isn't the Bronx Cobra. I guess a worm has to do what he has to do to get some respect. They aren't cute and cuddly like us dogs. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Did Not Meet the Bronx Cobra)

Junk Yard

I just heard of a cool place that has this dog super excited. Did you know that there is a place called a junk yard that sounds like a fun place for a dog? When stuff becomes "junk", the humans throw it away, and all us dogs know that garbage is among the most interesting stuff on the planet. What dog would not want to spend his time rummaging around checking out all the cool items that the silly humans wanted to throw away? I have seen my humans throw out things that, when I tell other dogs about it, they are incredulous. Why would a human throw that out? Yes, that is what I always here from my pals. No self respecting dog would ever throw away such treasures. I think junk yards mainly deal in car garbage, but I could jump into an old car and sit behind the steering wheel and pretend I am driving which is always fun. It would also be cool to stick my head out of the window, and have a fan strategically placed so that the wind blows my fur. It is like having the joy of riding without having to actually go anywhere. I have to go now. I am going to get the phone book and see where the nearest junk yard is around here. A junk yard is just too much fun for a dog to pass up. By the way, I know dogs love them because some dogs live there and are called "junk yard dogs". What a lucky group of dogs they are.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Junk Yards)