Demon the Magnificent

I have decided to add a new talent to all the many that I already have.  I am studying to be a magician.  I saw one who made a bunny disappear.  I have no interest in making a bunny disappear because I lilke bunnies.  However, making a bird disppear would be fantastic.  Of course, I have no plans to bring the bird back.  Getting rid of birds is what makes the trick so cool.  I've always said that the world would be better without birds.

Fe!on Flash Bandit (Magician)

Trump Pawtographs Orders

Donald Trump has been in office for 9 days, and he has been busy signing executive orders.  If I had won the election, I would end my first week sniffing around the White House.  It is a big place, and it takes time to take in all the wonderful smells.  This is why a dog would be a better choice for president.  We dogs  take our time and see how things smell before we make a decision.  How many of you humans regret not putting me into the White House?  Dogs are always the best choice.

Trump signed an executive order involving healthcsre, and as he said in his campaign, he has a brilliant plan.  He ordered that no one can get sick.  I have got to admit that, if no one is sick, it would save a lot of money on healthcare.

Trump signed an order which will ban people from some Muslim countries from entering the US. .  This has caused much turmoil at some international airports.   Of course, he hasn't shared his next step which is using illegal and legal slien labor  to build the wall on Mexico's border.  This will make the cost of labor free.  He has not indicatefd how space aliens will be treated.  I am sure he will announce that plan soon.   From my observation, there are more mass killings done by our own citizens.



He also signed an order that all eagle mascots should be set free.  Normally I hate birds, but the eagle  in the video I am sharing made me realize that some birds are good.  Go Eagle.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7_OWYrLVOU

Chimp Show

Occasionally I do movie and television reviews.  Today I am going to discuss a television show that aired from 1970 - 1972.  Lancelot Link Secret Chimp.  Lancelot was a spy for APE  (Agency to Prevent Evi!) who worked against CHUMP (Criminal Headquarters for the Underworld's Master Plan) .   In case you ate wondering, it is an all chimpanzee cast.  It is a spy comedy similar to Get Smart, another spy comedy from that era.  I think it would have been better with an all dog cast, but the chimps do an adnirable job considering they are chimps.  I like this show, but the lady ape had a voice that I didn't like.  It made me whinee.  Therefore, I don't recommend it for dogs. Humans will probably like it.

Every episode has a song by an all chimp band, Evolution Revolution.  The Howling Huskies is better, but the chimps can't compete with dogs. Their band is okay.


Demon Flash Bandit  (TV Reviewer).

Sad Dog

This time it is not my secretary's fault that I haven't written my blog.   Two wonderful people and all but one of their Siberian huskies died in a house fire.  Frank and Deboraha Pusiteri  were wonderful people.   They were the humans who bred Angel Zoom Smokey.   I will try to write a more normal blog tomorrow.  Today I am too sad.

Demon Flash Bandit (Grieving Dog)

Farewell Gabe

Gabe, the cute dog who has shared his talent with us on the Internet has crossed over the rainbow  bridge.  I am sad to see him go.  I  miss his delightful videos. God needed his bark in the heavenly choir.   RIP sweet puppy.

I am sharing one of his videos:

https://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=vwGnXKNGjT0
And
https://www.youtube.com/#/watch?v=AKYj-kf01QQ

Demon Flash Bandit ( Sad Dog)

Wheels

Some humans, in an effort to be like a car,like to wear roller skates or they stand on a skateboard.  Both items have wheels like a car. I suppose the humans can't get to where they are going fast enough.  I thought a dog would not be in such a hurry, but I was wrong.  Some dogs do like to get where they are going faster than paws alone.  This dog will stick with my four paws. I am sharing a link that shows a skating dog.

😈Demon Flash Bandit😈

Mother Hubbard's Neglected Dog

Old mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to get her dog a bone when she got there, the cupboard was bare
So poor little doggie got none.

The poem is a nursery rhyme which is told to small children.   Personally. I hate this poem and feel it is unsuitable for children's impressionable ears.  How could a mother not have bones for her dog?  That behavior is unforgivable.  Why were there no bones?  Did mother Hubbard eat them herself?  Did she party away the bone money?  Is she too cheap to buy bones?  Is she an abusive mother who needs to be reported for starving her dog?  Did a "cat" burglar break in to steal the bones?  Did a UFO beam the bones into the space ship?  Did she simply forget to buy bones?  If she forgot, that would be the worst reason.  How can you forget your dog?

According to the Internet, the poem Is anout King Henry VIII,  Cardinal Wolsey, and the divorce from Catherine of Aragon.  Of course, the Internet says birds make good pets so it gives lots of bogus information.  The poem makes no mention of a king, a cardinal, and a divorce.  I will add that, there was no shortage of bones in the reign of  Henry VIII.   He kept the executioners busy getting rid of his wives.  Cardinal Wolsey received the same fate. If you lived during that time, the best way to survive is not to meet the king.

 In concludsion, Mother Hubbard should have had a cat instead of a dog.  I also think the company that makes Mother Hubbard dog treats should have a different name.  Why associate your company with with a dog owner who neglects her dog?

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog)

Donald Trump Tweets

I apologize that I have missed writing for a couple of days.  My humom had to visit the hospital.  They didn't keep her.  They gave her antibiotics and said she is sick.  I could have told them she was sick, and I didn't charge for my diagnosis.

Today I am going to discuss politics so if the subject bothers you, close your eyes.  It has come to my attention that Donald Trump tweets his thougjhts all the time.  Donald Trump is the human who will be president because the humans are bad in math. He did not get the most votes.  Anybone, birds tweet, and Twitter lets  the humans tweet, and its trademark is a bird.  These facts come to my attention so I did some research.  The research caused me to come to the conclusion that Donald Trump  is a big bird.  He is orange, has feathers on his head, little hands like claws, and he tweets.  The humans need to remove him from service.  I am not a bird lawyer.   I am quite sure that a bird can't be president.  I am also sure that putting a bird into a high office is part of their plan to take over the world.  Birds cannot be trusted.

Demon Flash Bandit (Concern Citizen and Dog)

I Love Roast Beast

Today the doorbell rang, and it was a food delivery from Jimmie Johns.  My humans ordered roast beef sandwiches, and they did not include sandwiches for Angel and me!  Dogs like sandwiches too.  I thought I had my humans better  trained.  I was upset until the humans fed me roast beast.  Humom knows I like meat and not bread.  I am a good trainer and humom is a good human.

Demon Flash Bandit

Scarlett Johanson is Afraid of Birds

Scarlett Johanson has an irrational  fear of birds according to Internet sources.   I feel it necessary to say that a fear of birds is not an irrational fear.  It is a very sensible fear.  If more humans realized that birds are plotting to take over the world, maybe they could be stopped.   The planet would be a better place without birds.

Demon Flash Bandit

Health Concern

It is nice to discover that the new presidential  administration is watching out for the health if its citizens.  Of course, the concern does not involve Obamacare or health care in general.  That would be too logical for the new group.  Donald  Trump Jr is working to make it easier and cheaper to get gun silencers.  He is concerned about the possible damage that can be done to human ears when a gun goes off.  I know that can be a problem.  However, when a gun goes off, I am never overly concerned about hearing damage because guns usually cause so many other more serious problems.  I guess I will never understand why the humans like their guns so much.

Demon Flash Bandit (Political Observer Dog)

Sending a Message to the Varmints

A good dog is always vigilante about watching out for his humans.  As a dog who has the responsibility of keeping a yard safe for humans, I can tell you it can be a big job.  There are the usual critters that inhabit most yards-- squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits,  mice, birds,  etc.  Since we live near a lake, we have additional water type animals like beavers and woodchucks.  The yard is owned by my humans.  They bought it and they pay property taxes on it.  The deed is in their name.  Since I am the family dog; and as a member of the family, the yard is also mine.  My humans never spend much time out there anyway.   I don't have to tell all the dogs and even cats that the critters are not an easy group to deal woth.  Of course, I bark at them and let them know that they have no legal right to be on my property.  However, judging from the brain size of most of them, they probably won't understand.  I solved the problem by taking one of my stuffie toys outside where I tore it to shreds in front of the varmints.  I left it outside as a reminder to them.  If they want to stay on one piece, they won't mess with this dog!

Demon Flash Bandit (Guard Dog)

Being a Doctor to the Humans

Today has been a quiet day around here by order of Dr. Demon.
Humom has an upper respiratory  infection. and I prescribed keeping her warm and quiet.   My advice has been good advice so humom is much better.

Demon

Bones R Us

Since I am an enterprising dog, I am always thinking of new business ideas.  My latest is my plan to open a store specializing in bones for dogs.  I will call it Bones R Us.  I think this would fill an important niche for dogs.  Of course, if I plan to run a bone store, I will need inventory., and it needs to be of the highest quality for my customers.  Therefore, I went to the Carnegie Museum in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  The museum is known for it's superior collection of dinosaur bones.  Obviously, this was the perfect place to get inventory for my new store.  I looked around and found a nice bone for my store.  I was carrying it out of the museum when some jerk in a security uniform told me I couldn't take it out of the museum.  The bones are stacked up and could fall and potentially injure someone so I think they should have thanked me for limiting their liability.  You will be pleased to learn that I peed on their stupid bone. Thete will be a delay in my Bones R Us grand opening while I search for bones to sell.

Demon Flash Bandit (Business Dog)

Carrie Fisher's Dog Will be Cared for by his Human Slated

The planet recently lost an iconic actress who will be remembered for her role as Princess Leah in Star Wars. Carrie Fisher suffered a massive heart attack and died.  Her beautiful and talented mom, Debbie Reynolds, died the following day so my prayers go out to her family.  Carrie was devoted to her dog, Gary, who accompanied her most of the time.  Thankfully, Gary will be cared for by Carrie's daughter.  However, as a dog who lost my human dad 10 years ago,  Gary will always miss her.  Gary has been posting his thoughts on his twitter account.  If you are interested on his posts, he is Garythedog.

Demon Flash Bandit

Demon's Household Hints

Today I have made a list of household chores done the dog way.  A dog's cleaning methods are easier and superior to human methods.  Let's start with windows.  A curtain or blinds is called a window covering for a reason.  If a window is covered, no one can see that the window is dirty.  That one is so simple, I thought I might not have to tell the humans.  Of course, I was wrong.  Humans just don't think properly.

If you follow your dog's example and lick your plate clean, that is one less chore to do.  Vacuuming is a waste of time and energy.  You will just end up vacuuming again in 6 or 7 months.  The same is true for making the bed.  It is wiser to take a nap. I am sure the dogs reading this will know what I mean.

Demon Flash Bandit (Helpful Dog)

Johnny Appleseed and Rover McBaconseed

I always enjoy writing about history, and today is no exception.  Many Americans have heard the legendary story of Johnny Appleseed.  He was a real man who planted apple trees in Pennsylvania, Ohio, and Indiana.  His name was Johnny Chapman, and he made a living selling the trees he planted to settlers to that area.  As every dog knows, the humans get all the media attention.  How !any people know about the legendary dog, Rover McBaconseed? Much like Johnny Appleseed, Rover traveled  around the country planting bacon seeds.  I am quite sure that the sceptics who read this will say bacon doesn't have seeds, but Rover had magical seeds that would grow into bacon trees.  He wanted to make sure that there would be plenty of bacon trees for other dogs as well as for himself. The Bacon trees grew and grew.  Dogs still enjoy the meat from the bacon tree.  To this day, dogs  still dig up their yards looking for Bacon seeds.  In the future, I hope the humans van now understand why their dogs sre digging so many holes.  Those Bacon seeds are worth their weight in Milkbones..

Demon Flash Bandit (History Buff)

Happy 2017

Another year has come and gone.  I know a lot of humans like to make a new start planning improvements in their lives.  Since I . need no improvement, new years resolutions are unnecessary for me.  I could brag about having had a big new year's eve party, but I would be exaggerating.  I had some bacon and I took a nap.  I really enjoyed my event.  Sometimes relaxing with a bacon snack and hanging around with my humans is as good as
 life gets.  I would like to wish my readers a new year filled with plenty of bacon and good times for everyone. Happy new year!

Demon Flash Bandit (Happy Dog)