Friday, July 25, 2014

Movie Review: Transformers: Age of Extinction

I went to see the movie, Terminator:  Age of Extinction,  and this movie is so bad that they should have had a couple of dogs in it just to make it bearable (or dogable-my word for the day).  The inventor in the movie played by Mark Wahlberg did have a robot dog that he invented so his heart was in the right place.  However, there is no substitute for a  REAL dog.  I can only assume that Michael Bay (the director) spent most of the movie budget blowing up stuff.  Therefore, he couldn't afford to hire a big name star who is of the dog persuasion.  I heard that part of the movie was filmed in Detroit, MI--no doubt to save money because parts of the city have that "blown up" look possibly because it has been blown up in the past.  Don't get me wrong.  This dog has been to Detroit more than once; and, despite its reputation, much of the city is nice.  There are some wonderful museums there that can capture a dog's interest for half an hour or so, and they aren't even dog treat museums.  I don't mean to get off the subject, but why are there no bacon museums?  I just looked it up on Google, and they don't have any museums dedicated to bacon.  This is ridiculous!  I would love to go to a bacon museum, and I would particularly enjoy shopping at the bacon gift shop.  What dog wouldn't?  Back to the subject at paw---I did not like this movie.  It was mostly explosions and car chases, and of course, most of the cars aren't really vehicles because a lot of them are autobots or decpetigons disguised as robots.  The movie got so boring (and it is a long movie), I was ready to see both robot sides destroyed so that I could go home and relax on my human's bed and enjoy some treats.  This movie gets nothing on the dog movie scale.  It gets no kisses, no tail wags, not even a raised paw!!!   It is an incredibly bad movie.  I like the actor, Mark Wahlberg, and it also stars Nicole Peltz and Jack Reynor. but no actor could save this movie from being bad.  I don't think Johnny Depp as Capt. Jack Sparrow could have helped this movie unless he brought a dog along of course.  I give this movie a -1,000,000,000,000,000 on the human movie scale.  It is almost as bad and as boring as the recent movie, Gravity.  I'm sorry I saw this movie, and I want to let my readers know how bad it is so that they don't waste their money and time seeing such garbage.  The movie studio really let a dog down with the new Transformer movie.  This is one movie that should have paid attention to its title with a slight twist---Transformesr:  The Movie that Should have been Extinct before it Started.

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