I'm Not Scaredypaws!

We had a recent thunderstorm; and Angel Zoom Scaredypaws went into her usual freaked out  behavior.  She has a talent for going nuts. Thunderstorms don't scare me.  In fact. I usually nap during storms.  Angel Zoom Smokey   also gets upset if the humans aren't happy or even if they raise their voices.  She either tries to hide or she comforts them.  Again, I usually nap through such events.  As long as they aren't mad at me, I don't get involved.  However how can the  humans get mad at me when I look at them with my beautiful blue eyes?

Demon Fash Bandit (I'm a Big, Brave He-Man Dog)

My New Bed

My hu-mom ordered  Angel Zoom Smokey and myself a lovely New bed. Angel destroyed our last bed.  Mommy found us look alike beds on Amazon.  These beds are blue on one side with paw prints on it and the other side is a soft fleece fabric.  Mine cost more because mine is larger.  I happen to be bigger, but let's face facts; I'm worth the extra money.  The main problem is that my bed is so big that I need my own room.  Therefore I'm taking over the master bathroom.  There will still be another bathroom for the humans.  However, i if Angel wants her own room, I don't see why the humans can"t take care of their business like dogs-outside
  The trees appreciate my daily effort to water them!


Demon Flash Bandit (I've Got a New Bed)

Guns Can Make a Fashion Statement

Normally I'm a dog who doesn't think that dogs or humans need to carry a gun wherever they go.  However, after the bird attacked my hu--brother, I have changed my thinking on the subject.  I never wanted to declare an out and out war, but sometimes in the course of doggy events, war is necessary.  As if it isn't bad enough that the bird is living in MY territory without my permission, that bird has not paid the rent invoices I've been sending her.  I know it is a female bird because she laid eggs in the nest which hatched into baby evil creatures.  Personally, I think the reason Yosemite Sam always carried 2 guns with him was to shoot Yosemite birds.

Angel Zoom Smokey brought up an interesting point.  If you want females to have guns, they need to be fashionable.  A female dog does not want to carry a gun that clashes with her leash and collar.  Most guns are black, and a girl wants something more colorful.  I checked the Internet, and you can get guns in different colors--pink, blue, red, etc.  The girls can do their part to help kill birds, and still be fashionable!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fasionable Guns for Women

War With Evil Birds

Since the bird attacked my hu-brother, I have had to take drastic measures;  I like to hang out with mommy;  but yesterday I spent the day hanging out at thr French doors that lead out to thr deck.  To see the birds flying down on.a surprise attack,.  I had to  get a bettet view so I had to poll down the entire blind.  I am glad Mommy was okay with it.  She knows the enemy Birds.have to be stopped. .She knoes I am a good dog who is at war with birds.  I have trained my humans well!

Demon Flash Bandit ( At War With Birds)

I'm Officially Declaring War on Birds

I am writing this with saddened paw.   My brothers took me out for a walky today, and the bird who had babies on MY front porch attacked my brother, William.  Since William had my leash, I assume the bird was after me.  They can't hurt me because I am a super macho dog. Life is tough for a dog who stands up to warn the humans about the evil birds! Of course, my non-fur brother is okay.  The stupid bird eas trying to scare my human.  All the birds know that if they get near me, that bird would be my snack!

Then I came inside, and I was reading in the Washington Post on my Kindle Fire.  There was an article about the Kremlin being sttacked by crows.  I don't think this is a mere coincidence.  However, I'm sure that is what the birds want you to think.  A bird attacks me here in the Umited States, and a flock of the little varmints are attacking Russia.  The birds are destroying the facade of the Kremlin.  It is time for us dogs to join with cats  to protect our humans from those feathered scum--birds!

Demon Flash Bandit (Declaring War On Birds)

Humom Should be Supervising Hockey

I was watching televisiom with humom yesterday (Rescue Me) in which the firefighters play hockey against a team of policemen.  The show is like a soap opera in the sense that most of the characters seem to spend their lives making really stupid decisions.  This is not a surprise for me because the show is about humans, and not about dogs.  Anywho, this blog is about the hockey game.  Evidently, hockey is a game whete the goal is to use sticks to beat up each other over a thing that isn't even a ball.  It is a duck, but it looked nothing like a duck- or maybe it was a junk which would make sense because it looked like something the humans fished out of the trash.  I suppose that proves that some humans have sense enough to know trash is valuable.  Time to get off the "wild duck chase" and back to the hockey subject.  I think this is a game that could benefit greatly from humom.  Since Angel and I were puppies, whenever one of us gets a toy, humom gives each of us a toy that is the same or similiar.  This keeps us from "fighting" with eah other over toys.  As any dog will yell you:  sticks are for chewing.  The humans have taken a game which is played on ice (which we Siberian huskies love) and ruined it with their silly fighting.  Imagine how much nicer it would be to watch a bunch of humans sitting around in a circle chewing on their hockey stick while playing with their ducks.  They need humom to show them how to get along with each other!

Demon Flash Bandit (Hockey Improvement)

School Dog Days

School days,school days,
Dear old golden rule days,
Readin' and 'ritong' and 'rithmetic
Taught to the tune of a doggy's bowls.

For those familiar with that old song, you may bark, where is the hickory stick?  The answer:  the class dog is chewing on it.  Yes, the schools should have dogs. I think schools need dogs in the classrooms.  Human puppies need wisdom and humans just aren't as smart as dogs so why are the humans trying to impart wisdom they don't possess?  Besides, we dogs can teach and entertain at the same time.  The most important thing for a human puppy to learn is how to treat dogs.  You would think that human adults would know fundamental things (for example, bacon is for dogs).  Since humans are such slow learners, their training should start when they are hupuppies.  Besides, dogs are also fun to play with at recess.  Yes, dogs should  be in every classroom to teachhupuppres the important lessons!

Demon Flash Bandit (Imparting Wisdom)