My human Mommy has been watching a television program called Spongebob Squarepants. Yes, I worry about her too. I think the show is intended for children, yet she finds it humorous, and my brother Jeff actually owns it on blu-ray. I'm sure some of you are thinking, Demon Flash Bandit, why are you concerned? It doesn't sound like a big deal that the humans like a kid's show. However, there is good reason for me to be concerned. Spongebob, as you might guess from his name, is a sponge. When the humans decide to clean things, they often use a sponge. This means that this show could create some kind of crazy notions in the humans that see it that there might be some things in their house that needs cleaning. They might even get so crazy that they think of washing....THE DOG!!! As my regular readers are aware, I am not fond of baths and I'm actually against them. Getting a dog wet and using soap on a dog is cruel and goes against everything a dog stands for. If that thought isn't bad enough, what if they decide to start cleaning the house? Next to bathing a dog, that is one of the most annoying things the humans do with their lives. Like cats, we dogs don't mind cleaning ourselves a bit with our tongues, but we do not go nuts with the concept, and we don't like our homes cleaned. Just when a house starts to look and smell good, the stupid humans want to change it and take out all the interesting smells and the interesting things that cause those smells. Isn't it bad enough that they take out the garbage when everydog knows that the garbage is just getting to the point where it is interesting? This is why I'm against the Spongebob Squarepants show and believe humans should not be allowed to watch it. It puts way too many bad ideas in their heads, and humans can't be trusted with too many ideas. Their brains can't handle them!
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Thinks Spongebob Squarepants is a Bad Influence on Humans)