I Miss Dogster

Dogster was a great site for dogs and their humans.   I met many of my followers on that site. It was only for dogs.  We had our own pawmail and we  wrote our diaries and made friends.  I was often  chosen as a diary pick of the day.  This was before Facebook.  I joined the group when I was a wee puppy.  Angel joined it too when humom brought her   home.  When FB was invented, the humans started getting on it and they took  up  their dogs computer time.  Dogster magazine bought the site and didn't want a dogs input. Many humans go on FB, and I am going to share some fB entries.  The names have been changed to protect the boring.

Jill: I slept late today.
David:  I am at work?
Cynthia: I see a bird.
Forward:  shared by Mary: Old  people have lived a long time.  If you don't share this, you will go to FB jail.
Lynn:  I am at the store.  I can't decide whether to buy lage or xl. Eggs.
Lucy:  buy the xlarge.  I got 2 dozen  yesterday.
John: zMy pencil broke
Sally:  I am at the  Walmart. 🍉
Debbie;   love watching the grandchildren. The little darlings just broke a window
July: .  💡
Vera:  I am getting  guzzied up to go to church.
Betty;  Chicken gizzatds are 30c cents a pound at Piggly Wiggly?

• Humans are boring.  

Demon Flash Bandit.

Rock a bye baby in the tree top
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby. Cradle and all.

Unbelievable!    Humans sing this song to their babies to put them to sleep.  It is a well known lullaby that is used as music in a lot of baby items. Then they wonder why their childten grow into adults who take antianxiety medication and possibly psychiatric therapy as adults.  Have the  humans paid attention to the words? The human mother is putting "her baby:s bed on a branch of a tree so that a gentle breeze  can  rock the baby to sleep. I can understand this because when this rhyme was ,written rocking chairs  and swings had not been invent.  However for a branch to break, the wind had to turn into  a storm, the baby was too big,or both.  I think if her behavior was noticed, Social Services would take the baby.

A mommy dog would never put a puppy in a tree.  A mother dog has more sense than that.  Additionally She would not put a puppy  in a tree  filled with squirrels and birds could be near that precious puppy..  Human moms could learn a lot from  dog moms.  Dogs love their puppies unconditionally.  In fact, the humans can learn many life lessons from dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit

Annoying News

Ordinarily I don't pay attention to singing raisins, bit there are times to pay attention.  Case in point, last night I was relaxing enjoying an evening listening to high brow Alvin and the Chipmunks music when I heard a new song.  The California Raisins sang their latest hit single, "I heard it through the grape vine Dog Dentists make dog's teeth fine".  I didn't say it was a good song.  It did contain important information.  Doggy dentists exist!  Why?  Why?  Humans don't like dentists.  I checked the Internet, and there are 5 in my area.  I am sure some of the humans will think it is wonderful, but they re the brain damaged humans who
like to go to the dentist.   My advice is to have a bad tooth pulled and quit bugging a dog with root canals or crowns.  At least there aren't any doggy orthodontists.  Braces are for humans -not dogs.  I know the humans mean well and want the best for us.  However, as usual, they are misguided and need to ask us how we feel about doggy dentists.  We don't like them.

Demon Flash Bandit

I Think That Every Tree Should Have a Gift Underneath for Me

Why are the trees in my yard so useless?  I water them faithfully every day, and the trees still have no gifts for me.  When the humans bring trees inside, there are always a lot of gifts for Angel and me.  Every day when I water the ones outside, I look for gifts.  So far, there have been no gifts under any of those trees despite them being taller with much more room for gifts.   They  also look plain in comparison to the inside tree. .  I suppose outdoor trees don't feel the need to dress up.

In addition,  I have checked my trees  to see if they have elves, and I haven't found any  Keebler elves baking cookies.  Therefore, I have concluded that  a tree that has gifts or cookies might be  planted with magical seeds.  I need to consult with my neighbour, Jack.  He knows about  magical seeds.   seeds.  He started his collection by growing a beanstalk.  I will keep you informed on how my search goes .

Demon Flash Bandit

Letter to Whirlpool

A couple off days ago. I mentioned that I planned to write a letter to the humans  at Whirlpool.  I think it is only fitting that I share it with my readers.   Here it is:

Dear WhirlPool People:

I know most of your customers are humans, but many of them are dog owners.  Believe me   the humans buy brands based on their dog's opinion.  My humom bought a new Whirlpool refrigerator.  She asked my opinion on which brand to buy.  I told her I did not have an  opinipn.  As a dog, all refrigerators are the same.

If you want to make dogs recommend your brand, you need to make the appliance dog friendly.  The doors should be designed so a paw can open it.  You would be
 the first company to make a dog friendly refrigerator

Thank you,

Demo

Garage Sales

The nice thing about summer is that the humans have garage sales.  Dogs, don't start choosing the garage you want  yet. The garage is not for sale.  The humans put the household stuff that they are no longer uing  for sale The humans have no sense at naming things.  That name is false advertising, and they could have legal problems.  I would call it a Surprise Sale because you never know what you will get.  Anywoof, I went to a sale  yesterday.  Yes, I go to see if there is anything a dog would enjoy.  That includes stuff I like to smell.  The sale had the usual stuff - kitchen stuff, clothes, etc.  I was disappointed at first because it was stuff that only a human would buy.  My readers are probably not aware that I collect things that are museum quality.  I get a lot of my treasures from garage sales.   I continued to dig even though I knew it was probably
useless.  I am glad I didn't give up.  I bought the saw that George Washington used to cut  down the cherry tree.  I also cannot tell a lie - it was only 10 milkbones.  I got Abraham Lincoln's hat.  It was 20 milkbones.  Last but not least,  the arrow that killed General Custer at the Battle of the Littlle Big Horn was only  15 milkbones.    I suspect Custer had a  medical problems because the blood on the arrow smells like paint.  I am so pleased.  I wou

Garbage Day

What is wrong with the humans?  I would suspect that they have brain damage, but then I remember that they don't have a brain that is equivalent with the genius brain of the dog population.  If you are wondering what activity brought on this blog subject, I will explain.

Tomorrow is garbage day.  It happens every week in the civilized world.  Dogs have been barking their disapproval of this ritual since it began.  The humans take this event very seriously.  They buy garbage bags which any dog can tell you are a waste of money.   The reason I am writing about this again is because my past blogs on the subject have not had any effect on the humans.  I am angry because the humans had chicken breasts -the kind with delicious bones.  Since they consider them garbage,  I knew they would throw them away.  To my surprise, they  they did not throw them away.  I heard their evil plan.  They put tihem in the refrigerator until they could take them to the outside garbage.  They should have been deposited in the kitchen garbage.  I get into it on occasion, and chicken bones would be  that occasion.

Humom has a Whirlpool side by side refrigerator so I wrote the Whirlpool humans.  I suggested they make their refrigerators with handles that are easier for a dog to open. I have seen the inside of ,  it and  is full of food.  It would make life easier for the humans.  We can get our own food so the humans don't have to bother with it.

Demon Flash Bandit