I Found Big Foot!

My latest adventure was interesting.  I finally located Big Foot for which some of the humans have been searching.  It was easy.  I had been telling the humans how to do it for years.  I contacted the shoe manufacturers to see who ordered the biggest shoes.  Once I got that information, it was easy to find Big Foot.  I just looked for the creature who ordered the biggest shoes.  By the way, I'm not going to publish anything about Big Foot because he is shy and doesn't want the humans bugging him.  I understand where he is coming from so the search for Big Foot can be stopped.  Let the dude have some peace and quiet which is what he really wants.  That is why he avoids cities.  If anyone wants any information on him, contact me, Demon Flash Bandit.

Demon Flash Bandit (Successful Finder of Big Foot)

Potato Family Needs Potato Dog!

The toy, Mr. Potato Head, has been around for many years.  There is even a Mrs Potato Head.  I want to know why there is no Potato Dog.  How do you expect a potato family to thrive or even survive without a potato dog?  Humans without dogs are a pathetic lot.  You go by their houses and their yard looks plain--just grass and flowers, and no wonderful holes.  I know you might say, can't they hire some landscapers to give the yard that "dog lives there" look?  Human landscapers just aren't capable of providing such amenities.  Besides, dogs also add that special "artwork" to a yard, and we keep the plants watered for the humans.  It is time for us dogs to start a letter writing campaign to the toy company that makes the Potatoes, and let them know that they need to add a potato dog.  They have a Darth Potato, Spider potato, etc. so adding a dog potato should not be that difficult.  I think all companies should have at least one dog on their board of directors so that these kinds of mistakes won't happen in the future!

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants a Potato Dog)

Some Humans Do Listen to Their Dogs

Mommy and I were watching an episode of Duck Dynasty, and I want to let you know that some humans do show an amazing amount of intelligence.  In the episode, Miss Kay wanted a new couch.  The first one she bought was too big to fit through the door, and she had to go back and get another one.  After much shopping (which was not enjoyed by the males in the family), she picked another couch.  When they got it home, she decided that it didn't look that good, and she preferred the one that was already there.  She explained that the dogs had not chosen to sit on it because they were happy on the old couch.  Phil told the sons that if the dogs didn't like it, it had to go.  That has to be one of the most intelligent decisions I have ever seen the humans make.  Plus, I'm sure the humans on that show would understand that birds need to die.  I'm sure they have served bird for dinner more than once.  This is why that show has my approval.

Demon Flash Bandit (Approves of Television Show, Duck Dynasty)                          

Good Human Hobby: Skeet Shooting

One of the humans we know has a hobby that involves shooting skeets.  He goes to various places and shoots the skeets when they fly by.  I am not sure what kind of bird a skeet is, but I approve of his hobby.  I think all the humans should start shooting skeets, and then work their way up to other birds.  It does a dog's heart good to know that some of the humans are listening to the wisdom of their dogs and going after birds.  If your human doesn't have a hobby, encourage that human to start shooting at skeets.  You won't be sorry!

Demon Flash Bandit (Skeet Shooting Good Hobby)

Angel Zoom Smokey: Chicken Detective

Angel Zoom Smokey has decided on a new career.  She told me that she is going to be a chicken detective.  I had never heard of a chicken detective before this, but it is a career that she thought up on her own.  I guess this gives her a competitive advantage over future chicken detectives.  I did have to ask her more about it since detectives are usually following people or animals for a reason.  There aren't too many wanted posters that feature chickens so I was a bit curious about how she planned to make a living from this new career.  I have to admit that she has given this new business a lot of thought, and I think she might be on the right track.  She plans to follow chickens around  because she likes to eat chickens, and it is her main food source.  Therefore, she has dinner covered for the rest of her life.  However, I had to ask her how she planned to come up with money for treats like dingo bones and milk bones.  She said that is why her plan works so well.  She was watching Jersey Shore with Mommy and also Snooki and JWoww, and she said that if those uninteresting humans have people watching them, then the humans would be far more entertained by the Angel Zoom Smokey:  Chicken Detective show.  I've got to admit that I've slept through some of those episodes so I think she is onto something.  Those humans are boring...gym, tanning, laundry.... and then going out to get drunk to the point of not remembering who you are does not sound like fun activities.  Of course, I am a dog. and we live more interesting lives.  If nothing fun is going on around us, we take a nap and dream we are having fun!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Angel Zoom Smokey's New Career)

Movie Review: Captain America: Winter Soldier

I was so excited to see the movie, Captain America:Winter Soldier,that I was in the theater preview on Thursday, April 3. Being a Siberian husky, I love winter. I love the ice, snow and cold that goes with the season.,  I thought this movie would be one of those blockbuster movies that would be up for a best picture Oscar.  Imagine my extreme disappointment when the movie featured nothing involving winter....no snow, no ice, not even an icicle hanging from the eave of a house.  This movie is based on a Marvel comic book character, Captain America.  Superman has Krypto so you would think that Captain America would have a dog named Captain Dog.  Despite those disappointments, it was a good movie.  I give it 4 paws up, and a tail wag.  In human movie ratings, that would be an 8 out of 10.  Obviously, in this dog's opinion, I would have given it a higher rating if the movie involved snow and dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit

Fleas: I Don't Think They are Innocent

A cemetery of humans who were buried who died of the bubonic plague many centuries ago in England are being studied by scientists who are finding new information about how the disease was spread.  As most dogs can tell you, it was spread by fleas on rats.  Now the scientists say that it was not spread by fleas.  To have spread so quickly, it would have had to be airborne.  I can tell you that there were no dog scientists involved in this study because no dog would let the fleas off the hook for their part in the plague.  I don't care if it was their fault or not.  They are fleas, and the more the humans hate them, the better it is for us dogs.  If fleas get by without blame on the bubonic plague, the humans might start feeling bad that they have an unearned bad reputation, and instead of capital punishment, they might send the fleas into rehab or a mental hospital for trauma to their emotional state due to centuries of being misunderstood.  If the fleas get a free pass, the humans will never believe birds are evil because this dog has been standing up against birds since I was a puppy.  Even cats are mad about the possible vindication of fleas because they have spent centuries killing mice and rats for the humans.  The humans have rewarded them by allowing them to be household pets.  If mice and rats are no longer feared due to their fleas, what job will cats have to do?  They enjoy their jobs too--just ask any cat.  I have myself recently caught a mouse, and it made me very happy.  Besides, as silly as the humans are, they might even put the mice and rats on the "endangered species" list and then cats won't be allowed to go after them anymore.  Wouldn't that be a horrible trauma for a cat?  I also think that the fleas on mice and rats can cause other diseases so I'm hoping that the scientists will point that out before the humans get all mouse crazy and make them pets.  If you want accurate research, there should always be a least one scientist who is a dog on every team!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Hates Fleas)