Letter From Former Pres. George W. Bush

I get many letters from celebrities, and this is a drawing from former President, George W. Bush which he included with his letter. It is a drawing of Dick Cheney and George W. having a fun little peeing contest. I never thought of W as an intelligent man. However, I have to admit that, given a choice between this contest and going hunting with Cheney, I think he made a wise decision. Hunting with Cheney can get you shot in the face. The question mark is done by the artist probably because the artist had NO idea why he was being asked to draw them. I will share his letter with my readers.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,

I'm glad to see a dawg writing a blog on the Interneted. I don't know what I would have done wethout my dogs when I was in office. When it came time to make the big derisions, I always left them up to the dawgs. I am enopening a pitcher of Dick Cheney and meself doing some impoortant Wite Hous Stuff when I was President. Feel free to shair this pitcher with your readers. I am a big fan, and I hope your blog continues to do well. I am hoping one day to go from being a fan to being an air conditioner!

Love, Gorjze W. Buzh (I think that is how I spell it.)

It was very pleasant hearing from our former President, and I'm glad that, judging from the improvement in the spelling of his name, he is learning a lot. Thank dog for spell check. I don't think I would have been able to interpret his letters to me without it. Let's just say, spelling isn't his strong suit and neither is math, science, etc. He is a very nice guy though, and I'm happy to see him back in Texas.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Another Celebrity Letter)

Worst People List from Russellville, Arkansas

The Russellville Middle School in Arkansas published their yearbook which has some parents highly upset. It turns out that there was a list of The Worst People, and the list had 5 names. The first was Adolph Hitler, the second was Osama Bin Laden, the third was Charles Manson, the fourth was George W. Bush and the fifth was Dick Cheney. It sounds to this dog like the students at that school took their "freedom of speech" very seriously. I can only assume the reason those parents are upset is because they thought that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney should have been at the top of the list. Personally, I don't think George W. Bush is really the "worst man", but I would definitely list him at the top of an "incompetent president" list. Dick Cheney on the other paw has worked hard to be as "unpleasant" as possible. He was in and out of hospitals where the doctors kept looking in vain to find his heart. With all that medical school behind them, they should have realized that you can't find something that doesn't exist. The school tried to solve the problem by putting tape over the two names, but the parents complained that you can remove the tape. If you are a parent and you find it offensive, why would you bother to remove the tape? Are these humans who just don't have enough problems in their lives so they have to try to find more? I thought this was the most hilarious news item I've seen in a long time. I have a word of advice for anyone who is aspiring to run for a major political office in the United States (or any other country for that matter), if you don't have a sense of humor, don't run. No matter who you are or what you do in life, everyone is not going to like you. It is hard to believe, but there are humans who don't like dogs or even puppies! I have no idea why a human wouldn't love a dog--we are the humans best friends, but it happens. This is why a sense of humor is important for aspiring politicians. There will always be humans who don't like them so it is best to find some humor and continue working to make things better.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Freedom of Speech)

Christmas Gift Ideas From Demon Flash Bandit

With Christmas fast approaching, many of us are trying to decide what to gifts to give our family and friends. Sure, you can give your dad a tie, but he probably already has a gadzillion ties. If you have one of those dads like mine who only wore a tie if he HAD TO, it will just sit in the closet and collect dog fur. Sure, if you have a human who likes to be a bit eccentric and enjoys things other humans hate, you could always order that human a tie at http://www.zazzle.com/ from their tasteless tie section. Believe me, I have no idea why anyone would order any of their ties, but I'm sure there are some humans out there wearing them. What about the ladies on the list? There are only so many posters of Abe Vigoda shirtless that a home has wall space to hang. (NOTE: Abe Vigoda is best for the tween on your list--they will thank you when they are older and realize that the guys on Twilight really aren't particularly handsome.) By the way, for the Republicans on your list, a poster of Dick Cheney shirtless is available. And some of you ladies think that no one is answering your wishes!

Sure, all this stuff is okay for a few of the humans, but what would the majority of humans want to see under the Christmas tree? I have the answer to that question for you in this blog. I have done some massive surveys, and the thing the humans would like to have most can be found at http://www.prankplace.com/ This wonderful website has many wonderful gift ideas for the hard to buy for person on your list. What human would not be happy with a heart felt greeting of Merry Christmas spelled out in dog poop? At a cost of only $13.98, it is a real bargain. I know it isn't a gift that many people think of giving, so it will make your gift stand out in the crowd of gifts. Since these gifts of poop are fake poop, your recipient can enjoy them for years to come. This brings me to the best gift of all: for only $7.98, you can purchase Yule Doos, This is a special Christmas ornament made up of fake poop which is covered in sparkly snow. What could better prepare a person for the joy of the holiday season than to see a tree covered in poop? There are many other lovely poop gifts to choose from for that special person on your list. You can even shop from the comfort of you own home. I know that you will be remembered forever if you choose one of these thoughtful poop gifts. I think they prove the old adage, it is better to give than to receive.

I have to admit that I think my husky Christmas ornament giveaway is a better looking ornament than the Yule Doo, but Yule Doo is a close second!

Demon Flash Bandit (Holiday Gift Advisor)