Mommy is Sick

I am very upset today.  My mommy had to go to the hospital and I am not sure if she is okay or not.  I worry a lot and am not sure when she will be back.  I miss her already.  I hope so gets well and comes back soon.  A boy needs his  Mommy, even if she is human.  She loves me as a child of her own and she will always be my mommy.  Please come home soon.  I love you mommy.
-Demon Flash Bandit (worried pup)

Bird Conspiracy

In my last blog, I shared the bumper sticker my hubro, William, one of my campaign workers designed for me.  It is on eBay, but the item had a postage cost which is wrong.  It is $5.00 with free shipping.  Actually it was not exactly a mistake on my part.  Obviously, birds jacked onto my computer.  Birds always cause me problems, and they know that, as president, I will not tolerate birds.  I have already planned to have a cat take care of any rats who annoy humans.  Cats are good at catching rats, and they even enjoy the job.  One of the cats said we can make the birds build a wall around the themselves.  However I decided that cat is insane so he will not be allowed to serve on my cabinet.  Remember, some cats are crazy.  This is why cats are not Oatllowed to be president.

Demobn

I have some exciting news from my campaign headquarters. It is the bumper sticker which will let other species know that the best choice to lead the humans is a dog.  I would like to thank my brother William for designing my bumper sticker.  Mom had some printed, and they are printed on high quality vinyl by professionals.  You can advertise your support for a dog in the White House. The bumper stickers are listed on eBay.  Mommy might have to be hospitalized soon. Pray for her because Angel and I hate it when she isn't home.

Demon Flash Bandit (Presidential Candidate)

Sir Wolf versus Little Red Riding hood.

Are my readers following the lawsuit of Sir Wolf who is suing Little Red Riding Hood for spreading lies about Sir Wolf.
Wolves are always the villains in fairy tales.  I think he should also sue the Grimm brothers for giving wolves the bad publicity.  Look at the facts.  The wolf lives in the forest so Red is trespassing in his territory.  I think Red has a lot of nerve
  invading his territory.  Then she expects sympathy.  I went to visit her Grandmother, and she and the wolves  in the forest are good friends. Red's teachers have went on field trips hoping to lose the kid.  She always finds  the group.  I think there will be justice for the wolf.  The judge who is presiding over the case is the honourable Wily Coyote.

Has anyone heard about Trump, the Republican nominee, had a baby removed from his rally.  I am assuming he was mad because the baby's hands were bigger than his hands.  I would never have a baby thrown out of one of my rallys.  I would have walked over and kissed that precious baby.  Babies are often wearing food, and I like to eat.  This is why you should vote for me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Presidential Candidate)

No Birds Welcome

I am madder than a squirrel without a tree to climb who has run out of nuts.  As you can imagine, I am angry.  The mommy birdb who has built a nest by our front door has started to attack
Dogs as well as the humans.  They try to attack me, but I chase them.  Angel is afraid of them.  She runs back into the house.  I wiish shr could be more like me.  Those birds need to chased by a dog.  Birds are jerks.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Chaser)

Another Dog With a Blog

I have exciting news for my readers.  I discovered that Hulu is showing the television program, Dog With a Blog.  It has been on for 3 years, but my humans don't get the Disney channel.  My humans don't have cable TV because they stream Netflex and Hulu so I didn't get to watch it 3 years ago.     The star is a dog named Stan, and he is a very cool dog who can talk.  He is a great dog because he is as lot like me.  I am also angry because it has been cancelled by Disney.  Sure, Disney can continue making Star Wars movies, but when they air a show with a dog that is their best achievement, they throw it aside.  They must be under the impression that Star Wars will do well, but the humans prefer dog shows.  This is the kind of mistakes that are made when you put a stupid mouse in charge.

Demon Flash Bandit (Another Blogging Dog)

I have been negligent in writing my blog recently because my secretary has been been cleaning the house.  Translation:  the humans are throwing stuff away that Angel and I want to keep.  I caught them throwing away one of MY toys.  Humom thinks that a 6 legged octopus belongs in the garbage.  There is a good reason he was missing 2 legs.  I amputated  them. It was because it needed to be done.    He has been under my care, and I saved his life.  Besides, I wanted to see how a 6 legged octopus would look.  I regret that I can't keep a watchful eye on the garbage and still be on the computer at the same time.

This is particularly true when I have a matter of great importance to share with my readers.  There is a species of cockroaches that give milk with more protein than cows milk.  Will the humans start operating roach dairy farms?  Will there be roach cream, roach butter, or roach cheese?  I don't think it will be a success, but who would think a 6 legged  octopus would be considered garbage.

Demon Flash Bandit