Typical Day Off

Many of my readers have expressed interest in knowing about   my activities and those of  Angel Zoom Smokey' also..  I will describe what happened today.  I had to get up early today because humom had to go in for dialysis.  Therefore, I was up at the ungodly time of 8:30 AM.  It is ungodly because God does not get up until 9:30 AM at the earliest.  Think about it:  if you were the big boss, would you get up early?

I got to lick the breakfast plates.  The melted butter is delicious.  Angel was still asleep so I got to lick both plates.  When you snooze, you lose.

When humom left for dialysis,  it was time for me to nap.  After humom got home, I had to walk my brother.  Then Angel had to walk my brother too.  If it weren't for Angel and me my brothers would not get any exercise.  I watched TV for  awhile until it was time for bed.  This is a typical day off.  Most days I am busy doing important things, but a dog needs an occasional day to relax and lick the melted butter.

Demon Flash Bandit

New Flavor of Ding Dongs

On my continuing mission to keep my fellow dogs informed of the important events that shape a dog's life, this is huge.  Yesterday my brother brought humom a new product called white fudge ding dongs.  Humom took a   bite and was transported into ding dong paradise.  By the way,  humom  noticed that the cakes are smaller than they were before Hostess sold their company a few years ago.   Humom did not approve of the sale, but she really loves ding dongs.  They looked so  delicious so,  naturally, I had to beg for some.  She gave me a couple of bites, and they tasted as delicious as they look.   I am going to add a box for me onto humom's grocery list.  She will think she put it on the list herself. Humans are easy to trick!

Demon Flash Bandit (Food Taster).

Chia Trump

For those of you out there who, like myself have wondered what President Trump would look like without the dead squirrel on his head, you need wonder no more.  Now you can own a bust of Donald Trump from the company  that brought you  chia pets.  In fact, there are several other famous busts if you  want to start a chia pet collection.  If you voted for Trump, having this bust will be the holy grail of chia collectors.  Can you imagine attending a  Chio Fan convention in the future and have to see that you don't have the most valuable chia ever made- Trump?    The chia manufacturers won't guarantee that it will go up in value, but none of the other chias have done so.  Meanwhile, you can sit at your dinner table across from Trump, and you can discuss matters of great importance like the proper way to put ketchup on a steak.  Here is a link to  chia sites.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=chia+pet+trump&id=55B15979415A9C1D58571D549022DC11D2840528&FORM=IQFRBA

Demon Flash Bandit

Demon Discusses Fairy Tales

As a dog who takes educating the humans very seriously. I have decided to discuss early human puppy education and development.  Watch for my textbook which will be on sale at university bookstores everywhere.   The subject I plan to discuss today is the bedtime stories to which the human puppies are exposed.  Mother Goose has been compiling these stories for years.  Perhaps those stories are good for baby geese, but I can assure you that only geese have goose moms.  My mother was a black and white husky with blue eyes like me.  In fact, my dad was also a handsome black  and white husky with blue eyes.   My mother was not a goose!  I have never met a human puppy whose mother happened to be a goose.  Yet every night many youngsters hear these stories with little research done on the impact the stories have on their little lives.  I will give an example and follow with my own personal view.

Humpty Dumpty sat Jon a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again

Really?  When Humpty broke, the dogs yapped for breakfast because Humpty was an egg.   Scrambled eggs for everyone!


Little Moiss Muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey
Along came s spider who sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away.

This one is complicated.  Was she lterally a little girl being punished with a time out in the corner where she was forced to eat something disgusting?  Instead of admitting her disobedience was to blame a non existent spider as the reason she left the corner and refused to eat the slop she was given?  Of course that  is what  people were supposed to believe.
It was really a coded message involving troop movement that is classified.  Since it has remained  classified for centuries.  I refuse to be the one who leaks the secret.

By the way, what is a tuffet?

Demon Flash Bandit

Pyramid Discovered

According to the news, a new pyramid has been found in Egypt.    I do not see how that is possible.  The pyramids wete built a long time ago so it isn't new.  I am not suggesting that it is impossible to build a new one, but I think people would know about it.  A project that size is hard to hide.  Coincidentily, I came across a show on YouTube  featuring a man stacking bricks.  Perhaps hr was building a pyramid, but considering  that he had only stacked about 12 bricks, I guess that show will be on for a long time if he builds a pyramid.

A pyramid is supposed to be filled with treasure.  I am sure it is full of milkbones, rawhide bones, and squeaky toys.  The Egyptians used to  put everything that would be needed in the afterlife.  Sometimes the treasures are stolen by grave robbers.  Some of yhr pyramids were filled with useless gold and gems.  I have no idea why they would bother with silly stuff.

Demon Flash Bandit

Caterpillars

The latest news from the business world:  Caterpillar Inc. Is closing it's Aurora, Illinois plant. This action will  leave 800 people without jobs. I'll admit I was surprised to learn that caterpillars are manufactured by the humans.  I thought they were natural worm type creatures.  I also did not think that humans were capable of making something as beautiful as a butterfly.   Never let it be said that this dog doesn't admit when the humans can do something amazing.  My heart goes out to the humans who will be put out of work.  I hope they find equivalent or better jobs.  Wasn't the squirrel hair guy supposed to stop that sort of thing.  I asked humom, and she said most human politicians don't keep promises.  This is why dogs should be running things.  For further information about caterpillars go to this link:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caterpillar



Demon Flash Bandit

Pied Piper According to Demon Flash Bandit

Once upon a time, in ancient Germany, there was a town in which humans and rats shared living quarters.    This went on for many years.  However, the relationship became strained because the humans decided that the rats were dirty and disgusting.  Truth be told, the rats felt the same way about the humans, but the rats were too polite to complain.  The humans hired the Pied Piper Pest Removal Company.  You may have seen their logo on one of their trucks.  The company is owned and operated by a family of birds.  Their motto is "we will sing your pests away.  The humans hired them to get rid of the rats.  As you may have guessed, the birds songs were worthless.  Finally, they called in a dog consultant.  He sent in some cats, and the rat problem was solved.  The morals to this fairy tale are:
1.  Never hire a bird.
2.  If you want something done properly, hire a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit