Unappreciated Parking Meters

Life on Earth is filled with many misunderstood inhabitants.  Probably at the top of the list is the lowly parking meter.  Unless one of them  lands a job at the occasional indoor parking lot, most have to brave the elements in all kinds of weather.  It has a rough and lonely life.  As if they don't have enough problems, humans resent having to give them money.   Although they are unappreciated by humans, we dogs try to make them feel better.  I, for one, never pass by one without smelling it, and I give it the same respect as I would give a tree or fire hydrant.  I pee on it.

Demon Flash Bandit

Mail Lady

Our mail is usually left in a rural type mailbox so I  don't usually see the postal delivery lady.  I am sure I don't need to inform my readers that it is a dog's business to know that individual  These people invade a dog's territory.  They bring good things, but sometimes they bring bad things like bills.  I am grateful that the mail lady is human.  I was worried  she might be a cat.  No dog wants his mail delivered by a cat.

Demon Flash Bandit

Proof of Big foot

For those of you who are wondering what I did today, I napped and I watched TV.  TV was boring.  I have to admit I napped more than I watched TV.  That is because the humans chose the programming, and it was not at all interesting. The program on Big Foot was obviously the work of humans.  They were hunting  for the big furry guy and found no proof of his or her existence.  I got on the Internet and solved the problem in 10 minutes.  A man in Venezuela who wears size 26 shoes has the world's biggest feet..  It takes a dog to solve problems for the humans.  Then they watched a show about Chinese history, but some people in China eat dogs so I took a nap in protest of that practice.   Finally they switched to Paw Patrol and teruns of Sledgehammer.  I like Sledgehammer.  A cop who talks to his gun is interesting.  He needs a dog.

Demon Flash Bandit

No returns on Babies or Pete

There are a lot of warnings on products that make a dog think a lot of humans aren't playing with a full deck.  However,  I was shocked at the return policy on jet.com.  My humom has ordered from them in the past  with no problem.  The last order has one damaged item so she looked up their return policy.  She read it out loud to my brothers and me. It surprised her that much.   It States:  Please be sure and remove babies and pets from boxes before sending it back.  We cannot stress this enough.  The company also is not responsible for packages arriving late in the event of a zombie apocalypse.  I am barkless. I think jet said it all.  I have heard Walmart bought jet.com.  I guess that explains a lot.

Demon Flash Bandit

Humon Declares Angel Innocent of all Charges

Yesterday there was a loud crash in Jeff's bedroom.  I was standing in the hall when I heard it.  At that point, Angel came running down the hall like a bat out of hell.  When I saw her running, I did what any innocent dog would do.  I did not want to be one of those "guilt by association" types so I was right behind her.  She jumped onto bed with humom.  Jeff was following, and he told humom that Angel had knocked over some blurays in his bedroom. To be fair, Jeff has a canillion of them in his room.  I would not be one bit surprised if they didn't attack Angel.  Humom told Jeff that Angel had been with her.  Jeff didn't argue with humom.  Angel has Jeff wrapped around her paw.  She laid next to Humom laughing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Innocent Dog)

Illegals Must Be Stopped

Something needs to be done about the illegal aliens who cross the border from the south.  Those chihuahuas cross the border without being properly veterinared.  When they arrive, they never stop barking.  They have the nerve to get right up in a big dog's face with their incessant, annoying noise.  We big dogs do get a laugh out of their pathetic yapping, but all jokes aside, they are taking some of our humans which means they ate taking dog food right out of an American dog's mouth.  In fact, I am not even sure they are dogs.  The humans say they are, but the Collie Coalition said they are not.  I tend to agree with the collies.  The ones that are here can stay, but we have enough!  I think we need to build a 2 foot high wall on the border.  That should be tall enough to keep the little boogers on their side.  I think President Trump is wrong in building a wall.  I think 2 feet tall is sufficient to keep the chihuahuas from crossing.

Demon Flash Bandit (US Dog)

Meeting My Readers

I had a busy weekend.  I was booked for a pawtograph session both days.  It was exhausting,  but I do enjoy meeting my fans.  I consider it my responsibility as a celebrity dog to spend time with my readers.

.Meanwhile, back  in Gotham City, Batman is shopping for a new Batmobile at the Bat car dealership.  Unknown to Batman, the Joker has purchased the dealership in an effort to discover Batman's secret identity.  Imagine Joker's anger when Batman's driver's license says only Batman.  Does the Joker ever learn that crime does pay?

Demon Flash Bandit