The Humans Were Cleaning----and I Helped!

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. Mommy gave up her traditional Thanksgiving pizza dinner to go to a friend's house where she had a turkey dinner. Who ever heard of eating turkey on Thanksgiving? Another important point--aren't the humans are supposed to stay home with their dogs on Thanksgiving? After all, isn't it the dog that the humans should be most thankful for having around. Now onto the reason that I haven't written a blog recently. My secretary (the human who I own) has been busy with other things--like cleaning the house. I hate it when the humans decide to clean the house. It is a waste of time because it will get dirty again, and I happen to like it better in its "unclean" state. However to show just what a good sport I am, I decided to help with the cleaning. Did the humans appreciate my help? No, they did not!!! When I decide to carry stuff to the middle of the room so that the humans can go through it, they should realize that I know a lot more about cleaning then they do. Do I hear a "thank you". No, I did not. I heard, "Demon Flash Bandit", get out of the way" and "stop doing that". It is amazing we dogs will still help the ungrateful human! Demon Flash Bandit (Good Helper)

Brian Should Not Have Died!!!!

For those of you who watch Family Guy, I want to let you know that I was both saddened and highly annoyed that their dog, Brian, was killed by a car in the last episode. I would warn you that this is a spoiler alert except for the fact that it is all over the web so I think my readers will already know about this plot twist. What were the writers on Family Guy thinking when they decided to kill Brian? It wasn't funny! In fact, I never think seeing a dog die is anything bur tragic!!! Why not kill one of the human characters. In fact, that old guy in the walker seems a bit strange to me, and he has one walker leg in the grave anyway. Why not let Brian live and kill that old guy? From what I've seen of him in the show, I think there is something more to his character than meets the eye. I don't like to make accusations, but judging from his interest in Chris, that old guy is a dirty old man who the show could live without. Perhaps they should have considered bringing on some new characters, and I would suggest another dog since we dogs are so important to the humans. I do hope that, since this is a cartoon, the writers will find a way to bring Brian back. The world is not as bright without Brain in it. I was looking forward to reading his next novel. I think we should all start an Internet campaign to bring Brian back to life-or we quit watching the show!!! Demon Flash Bandit (Live Dog Because I'm Not on Family Guy)

McDonalds: Great Employee Advice on the Web

With the holiday season fast approaching, I'm sure many of the humans could use some advice on how to spend less and not end up with debt to pay after the holidays are over. I am going to share a link with my readers from McDonalds on how their employees can have a debt free holiday. http://www.nbcnews.com/business/mcfail-mcdonalds-debt-advice-employees-return-purchases-skip-takeout-2D11638179#business/mcfail-mcdonalds-debt-advice-employees-return-purchases-skip-takeout-2d11638179 It is nice to see a company that cares about their employees to the point that they will actually go to the trouble of posting money saving tips on a website. I noticed that giving a Christmas bonus to loyal employees who have worked there all year or raising pay was not an option. I can understand the reasoning behind that. If you just give the employees more money, chances are they will waste it on silly things like food and heat for their homes--or even rent! It is scandalous the amount of money "poor people" throw away on things that are no fun at all! As a service to those "caring" companies, I am going to follow up with my Demon Flash Bandit advice on saving money for the holidays. Their advice was to eat stale bread instead of fresh bread. I think that is wasteful myself when there are perfectly good sandwiches complete with meat sitting in McDonalds dumpsters. Most McDonalds restaurants are probably serviced by waste companies that charge them for pickup so, in addition to providing employee food, the company saves money on garbage pickup which is a win-win-win situation for the company! Some of the dogs will read this and question whether they should be doing this from a health and safety standpoint. Sure, the employee "dumpster diving" might get hurt or eat some food that causes food poisoning, but that is the price you pay for keeping the wages low! Another simple solution would be for McDonalds to start paying their employees more. However, that would mean less profit for McDonalds, and then the upper management might be forced to eat stale bead, and that would be tragic!

Dogs Included in Obamacare

Normally, I go to great lengths to make sure that my writing meets the highest of journalistic standards. However, on October 2, 2013, I published a blog titled, "Dogs Not Included in Obamacare"! Although I am usually correct, this time I was wrong. Let me share this link with my readers: http://news.yahoo.com/obamacare-signs-up-its-first-dog--so-there-s-that--at-least-161850233.html;_ylt=AiXePKQWV9_tPsRiD89S53EJVux_;_ylu=X3oDMTJhY3Axamo3BG1pdANBVFQgMyBTdG9yeSBKdW1ib3Ryb24gSG9tZSBDYWNoZWQEcG9zAzMyBHNlYwNNZWRpYUF0dFdpZGdldHJvbkFzc2VtYmx5;_ylg=X3oDMTFkcW51ZGliBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3BtaA--;_ylv=3 I know dogs weren't originally included in Obamacare, but I can only assume that dogs being excluded was the reason for the government shut down. It does a dog's heart good to know that there are caring humans who want us to be included in universal health care coverage. I'm sure Bo Obama, first dog, had some influence on that decision. I hope all the humans know that it is very important that the President always has a first dog. If the President has a "first bird"; well, let's just not think about that possibility. I'm hoping the humans will never stoop so low as to vote in a President who has a pet bird! Demon Flash Bandit (Obamacare Covers Dogs Too)

Television Review: Underwear Bosses

Sometimes there are new reality shows that are offshoots of ones that are already on. I might add that sometimes the new shows are more entertaining than the original ones that they were taken from. One of my personal favorites is from the reality show, Undercover Bosses. I love the original show because it is very entertaining watching the CEO of a company do menial jobs that pay minimum wage. Although these jobs (judging from the amount of pay and the lack of respect the person doing them receives), are considered to be jobs that any "idiot" can do, the big bosses are often incapable of doing them. I'm not putting down the people who are in charge of large companies. They are the ones who make the "big decisions", perhaps that explains the many recessions that affect the humans, and ultimately, their dogs. I've never understood the humans way of looking at jobs anyway since if you ask the average dog if we would rather sit behind a desk or empty trash cans and clean bathrooms, I can tell you that sitting at a desk would not be what a dog enjoys doing on a job. But I digest.(Isn't it more interesting to digest than to digress?) The new show that I find so interesting is Underwear Bosses. This show is about bosses who, reminiscent of the ones on Undercover Bosses) aren't the brightest bosses in the boss pool. However, they are the ones who are smart enough that they didn't drown in the "boss pool". In the latest episode of Underwear Bosses, the CEO of a large retailer who I won't name--watch the show yourself--came to work in his underwear because he thought that Underwear Bosses were bosses that showed up in their underwear. Thank dog they made a program about it so all us dogs can enjoy their exploits! I give this show 4 paws up and some dingo bones which is a 10 out of 10 on the human television scale. Demon Flash Bandit (Watching Underwear Bosses)

Bodhi: High Fashion Dog

Today I am going to discuss a dog who models menswear whose name is Bodhi. He is a shiba inu who is also a high fashion dog model. Here is the link: http://www.pawnation.com/2013/11/13/bodhi-the-menswear-dog-meets-rachael-ray/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl27%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D405788 If you watch the video, they are asking for humans to send photos of their dogs dressed up in clothing, and you might see your dog on the show. I can assure you that you won't see Angel Zoom Smokey or myself. WE DO NOT DRESS IN HUMAN CLOTHING TO MAKE THE HUMANS HAPPY!!!! Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Sticks With His Fur)

Possible Turkey Shortage!

Butterball has announced that there may be a shortage of large fresh turkeys this Thanksgiving. Here is the link to the story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/16/butterball-turkey-shortage-thanksgiving_n_4283980.html?1384613124&icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl4%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D407189 The problem stems from the fact that turkeys are not getting as big this year. The humans have no explanation for the loss of weight, but I suspect it is because the turkeys got to watch that new movie out this year, Free Birds. I think it is fundamentally wrong that Hollywood puts out such garbage making turkeys and other birds think they are okay when they are not-and never will be! Birds are evil and should not be tolerated by dogs or humans. I don't think blaming Hollywood is totally fair either. I never thought it was a wise idea for the humans to build a gym for the turkeys or to hire a personal trainer. However, humans are stupid so they never think these things out, but then they wonder why their turkeys are skinnier! If you happen to own a turkey farm, listen to the wisdom of Demon Flash Bandit: do not build a gym for them! Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Skinnier Turkeys)