Ancient Astronauts Were Dogs

I've been watching some documentaries on television that deal with the idea that ancient astronauts visited Earth, and they are the reason for so many of the things in the ancient world--like the pyramids.  Personally, I think it is the only explanation for the ancient achievements, and I'm going to explain why for the humans who might be reading this (or have their dogs reading it to them).  We dogs have the vast intellect to build things like that, and the humans are too stupid to accomplish such wonders.    Therefore, the ancient astronauts were dogs from another planet.  We decided to stay here and help the humans because our ancient ancestors realized that the humans would never survive without our help.  Let's face it-they were cave men running from dinosaurs when  we came here, and the dinosaurs were winning.  For example, there was Ork, the caveman who decided to invent the wheel, but he kept making it square.  Any dog can tell you that a square wheel just won't work, but Ork spent 30 years of his life working on it before he decided to change its shape, and he changed it to a rectangle.  Is it any wonder, dogs' ancient ancestors felt sorry for the humans on this planet and decided to remain?  Besides, watching Ork trying to make a square wheel work for 30 years was amusing to ancestral dogs.  In addition, the humans did have one talent that ancient dogs loved--they could give good tummy rubs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Ancient Dog Astronauts)

I'm the Demon Flash BANDIT from Smokey and the Bandit

Today I am going to discuss a truly great movie, and that movie is Smokey and the Bandit.   This movie was made in the 70's and it is still a classic motion picture.  The "Bandit" played by Burt Reynolds has been hired to transport Coors beer across state lines in areas where, at that time, it was not legally sold.  This is bootlegging, and it is a crime so the Bandit was supposed to watch out for the police while his friend, the "Snowman" (isn't that a great name?), drove the semi-truck with the beer.  If police were around, Bandit, in his Trans Am, was supposed to lure them away from the semi to keep the truck from being pulled over and the beer found by the authorities.  Along the way, he picks up a hitchhiker who happens to be running from her wedding, and she was marrying the sheriff's son so he was in "hot pursuit" behind the Trans Am throughout the movie.  I can't count the amount of police cars that were wrecked before the movie was over.  If you want  to know why this movie is truly one of the best, I will give you my obvious answer...if you look at my name, Demon Flash BANDIT, it is the same as the Bandit's name in the movie.  Angel Zoom SMOKEY is the same as the policeman, and our stunt dog, Phantom Fast  SNOWMAN, is named for the truck driver in that movie.  I'm sure my readers will understand that any movie that has ties to my 2 fellow Siberian Huskies and myself has to be the greatest movie of all time.  I'm sure most of you have seen it, but you should watch it again.  I know that Burt Reynolds cannot even begin to compare to me, Demon Flash BANDIT, but he tries, and it is always nice to watch the humans when they try so hard to be like us dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit (The BANDIT)

Movie Review: This is 40

"This is 40" is semi-sequel to the movie Knocked Up.  It stars Paul Rudd as Pete and Leslie Mann as Debbie-two characters that were introduced in the movie Knocked Up.  It would have been nice if the main characters of Knocked Up were at least in it for a cameo, but the movie was really about what it is like to turn 40, and those characters were younger.  I suspect that birthdays probably aren't as traumatic for a lot of other people, but the people who go on as usual don't tend to make for good cinema.  As a dog who is not a puppy anymore, I can understand that it is nice to be young, but there is something to be said for growing old since everyone does not get that opportunity.  This movie is rated R so I don't necessarily recommend it for viewing by young children.  It is an enjoyable way to spend some time, and the movie does have some funny moments.  I give it 4 paws up which, on the human movie scale is a 6 out of 10.  If you liked the movie, Knocked Up, you will probably like this movie.  If you hated Knocked Up, save your money and don't go to see This is 40 because you probably won't like it either.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Boat Made of Pasta is Bad Investment

Now I know why the stores that sell things to humans don't want them accompanied by their dogs.  My Mommy (who happens to be a human--I think she adopted me) came home from the store yesterday and she had bought a pasta boat.  Only the humans would be dumb enough to buy a boat made from pasta.  Any dog could tell them that a boat needs to be made of more substantial material than pasta.  Evidently, you can sell the humans almost anything.  I might add that the boat is so small that I don't see how the humans are going to ride in it.  I won't even fit inside that tiny boat.  I'm not even sure if a chihuahua will fit.  I'm sure Mommy is pleased with herself getting a boat at such a good price, but sometimes you get what you pay for.  In this situation,  I think when she puts that boat in the water,  she is going to get very wet particularly since she will be lucky to fit one foot in it, and I think she is going to look super silly standing on the water with one foot.  This is why the humans who own stores don't want dogs in their stores.  They know we dogs are way too smart to buy a lot of this stuff, and they wouldn't make near as much money if they allowed us to shop with the humans.  However, judging from the pasta boat, my humans really need my guidance when shopping.  I'm sure all of them do.

Demon Flash Bandit (Smart Dog)

Prepare for a Zombie Attack

For my readers who have not yet purchased a calendar, I have the perfect calendar that tells you the date and gives you information to help you survive a zombie attack. How many calendars can tell you the date, and also help you survive?  This makes this calendar the "must-have" calendar of the year.  I know I love the ones with the cute Siberian husky centerfolds on it, and they are gorgeous calendars, but that should just be an extra calendar you get to make a room look better.  Here is the link where you can order one for yourself, and they are even on sale ($3.99) at the moment so you can save money and survive a zombie attack too!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f0b9/

Be sure and get one for your family because I don't want to lose any of my readers to a zombie attack!

Demon Flash Bandit (Preparing for Zombie Attack)

Dog Poop Christmas Tree Ornament

I know it is too late for Christmas gifts and decorations, but I ran across one today that I have to share with my readers because it is just too wonderful to wait another year to share.  That item is a dog  poop ornament for the Christmas tree.  Yes, for only $10.98 plus shipping, you can have a pile of white, glistening dog poop hanging on the Christmas tree.  Imagine how envious your guests will be when they see the dog poop hanging from the tree.  Most of the humans don't have such an interesting item hanging on their tree so the person with the dog poop ornament will be the envy of all their friends.  I am going to share the link for this magnificent product:
http://wrinkydinkspetgifts.stores.yahoo.net/pooryudo.html

Why not order several?  I can even envision a tree covered only in dog poop, and the family dog being happy with having humans with such good taste!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Christmas Tree Decorations)

New Year's Resolutions

Today is the first day of the new year, and this is the time that many of the humans make New Year's resolutions.  These resolutions are things  that they are supposed to do to make their lives better in the coming year.  Many of them resolve to eat healthier foods, exercise more, etc.  Since I'm a dog, I don't need to make any resolutions for my life.  We dogs happen to be about as perfect as one can possibly be, and I am one perfect dog so making resolutions would just be a waste of my valuable time.  However, I am going to make a few just to make the humans fell better about themselves.  The humans have enough problems without them feeling even more inferior to their dogs than usual.  My resolutions are to nap more, watch more television, and have more treats.  I am quite sure that I will be able to keep those resolutions throughout the year which is a problem with the humans.  Most of their resolutions are broken within a week.  If the humans made resolutions like mine, I think even the humans might be able to keep their resolutions even though they don't have the strong will of a Siberian husky.  For my readers who are trying to improve their lives, I hope it works out for you.  I know I will be a much happier dog if I can fulfill my own resolutions.

Demon Flash Bandit (New Year's Resolutions)