Batmobile: The New Demonmobile

I am so excited that I can barely sit here and write this blog.  The Batmobile from the original Batman television series will be auctioned soon, and this dog would look great driving the Batmobile.  Of course, I would change the name to the Demonmobile.  I think that is a catchier name anyway.  I've needed a cool car to drive around in because I happen to be one super cool dog!  I'm sure my humans will be happy to buy it for me because they must realize how much a dog of my standing in the blog community needs a famous car.  I am only concerned that I might hear my humans start with their usual excuse about not having enough money to buy me a car.  It really is not a valid excuse because I have asked the Big Dog, SantaPaws to bring me enough money to pay for the car.  I've heard those stupid lack of money excuses in the past, and the Batmobile is far too important for a dog to pass up due to lack of funds.  If you see a dog driving a Batmobile in the spring, you'll know it is me cruising around in my new ride.  For those who want to read more about the auction, and see the car that this dog is planning to buy, here is the link:
http://www.dailyfinance.com/2012/11/29/original-batmobile-auction-sale-january/

I hope all my readers have a wonderful weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Needs Batmobile)

Bonuses: A Reward for a Good Job

Today I have decided to write about the insanity of many of the humans who run large businesses.  Case in point:  Hostess.  The executives at Hostess have taken an iconic American company and ruined it.  I know it is popular for management to blame the workers, but considering that the human who was called in to help restructure the company, Gregory Rayburn, is being paid $150,000. a month; I don't think it is hard to see where the company's money is going.  The executives also want a bonus in addition to the money they make.  This dog thinks it is stupid to give executives who are in charge when a company goes into bankruptcy bonuses.   I'm a dog, and I know you can buy a lot of dingo bones with $150,000.  I'm not even sure I would have time to eat that many bones in a month. I bet they have other perks too--like unlimted free dingo bones, and tennis balls.  Don't get me wrong--I don't really care how much the executives make if the company is doing well, and the workers are paid a living wage, but I am very tired of reading about all these people at the top who care so little about their employees, and who expect to be rewarded for doing a bad job.  I'm not saying that sometimes a company does not fail due to bad luck or bad timing, but even if it isn't an executive's fault, he should not get a bonus.  I've discussed this with other dogs, and all of us think the humans who allow that are stupid and possibly insane.

When my humans can't get the snacks they enjoy, they will become grouchy, and that will not be pleasant for the family dog (or dogs).  Therefore, I think that, in addition to not getting bonuses, all perks should be cut off.  Let those executives buy their own dingo bones and tennis balls!

Demon Flash Bandit (Bonuses Should be "Earned")

Movie Review: Life of Pi

The movie, Life of Pi, is an excellent movie about  the adventures of a young man, Pi Patel, whose family owned a zoo.  When the zoo needed to be shut down, his family sold the animals and left India to move to Canada to start a new life.  The ship that he and the animals were sailing in went down, and it is the story of his survival on the ocean along with a Bengal tiger named Richard Parker.  I thought the animals in this movie were delightful.  That is the story Pi tells, but the real story is a bit more complicated.  Pi was really a chocolate cream pie who was trying to avoid being eaten.  He hooked up with the gingerbread man, and they sailed on a ship to avoid the humans who thought they looked "delicious".  There was a shipwreck and the pie and the gingerbread man had quite an adventure trying to keep from being eaten by sharks and, of course, the possibility of spoiling in the hot sun.  I can't tell you if they made it or not, but you can watch the movie and see for yourself.  I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail wag, some kisses, and some doggy slobber--those desserts did look good!  It is a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale.  Be sure and have some snacks available when you watch this movie if watching food makes you hungry!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Pre-Dinner Syndrome

Today I saw an item in the news about military dogs who are suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome).  I'm glad that some veterinarians are taking this problem seriously.  Some of the military dogs are very heroic and deserve our admiration and help.  I know how hard it is to suffer from problems like that.  I personally suffer from PDS (Pre-Dinner Syndrome).  That is when a dog gets hungry and it is not offically dinnertime.  The only cure for that is food, and I've found the best method of getting said food is counter surfing.  It is not only a sport, but also a medical treatment.  A dog can do it himself and does not have to bother the humans--in fact, letting the humans know you are counter surfing is not recommended.

Demon Flash Bandit (Hungry Dog)

Christmas With the Howling Huskies!

I'm looking around the house, and the Christmas tree is not up yet so, of course, there are no presents under it with a name tag declaring they belong to Demon Flash Bandit.  I know there is still time, but I've known my humans since I was a puppy, and I find it best not to assume that they will get things done on time.  Therefore, I plan to bring in a tree the next time I go outside, and I'll get some birds, kill them, and use them as decorations on the tree.  Just thinking about it makes me fell all emotional--a tree with a bunch of dead birds--I can't think of anything prettier.  Just to make sure the humans do their part and put my presents under the tree, I have called an emergency concert of the Howling Huskies, and we will be singing Christmas music.  I know everyone  will enjoy the old favorites:
Humans roasting on an open fire cause they didn't get the dog a bone.
Grandma got eaten by the dog because she didn't get him a gift.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer--He is drunk again this year.
Frosty the Snowman is yellow because the dog peed on him.
Walking in a Winter Wonderland to get the dog a bone.

I'm sure that even the humans won't be able to resist getting into the Christmas spirit when they hear these songs.  I bet there will be lots and lots of presents for me under the tree after the concert--if the humans know what is good for them!

Demon Flash Bandit (Preparing for Christmas)

Make a Christmas Wreath

Today my blog is an informative one telling you how to make a lovely wreath for the holiday season.  For this project, you will need a bunch of regular rawhide bones, some milkbones, a dingo bone, and peanutbutter.  Be sure and have your humans get you all the supplies before you start.  With these supplies and a bit of time, you can have a wreath hanging on your door that will make Martha Stewart envious.  Here are the directions.

Putting the wreath together is very simple.  You want to make it round like a circle so you take the regular rawhide bones, and use peanutbutter to hold them together in a circle.  Then you, again using peanutbutter, "glue" the milkbones to the rawhide bones.  You provide the finishing touches by putting the dingo bone "bow" on the wreath.  When you are done, you will have a beautiful wreath.  I'm sure you want to know how many people have admired the one I made.  I would have to say, zero.  Everytime I make one of these wreaths, I end up eating it before I can hang it on the door.  However, it is nice when a craft item ends up being so delicious.  Many projects do not taste as good as they look.

Demon Flash Bandit (Making Christmas Decorations)

George Washingdog

My humans did not take part in  "Black Friday" shopping.  Mommy said that there is enough insanity out there on normal shopping days so she stayed home which was great with Angel Zoom Smokey and myself.  After reading the news, I can see why she has that attitude, and it is wise--some of my intelligence must have rubbed off on her.  According to news reports, a man went shopping with his girlfriend's baby, left the baby in the car, and then called a friend to pick him up forgetting the baby in the process.  Of course, he remembered the big screen television.  I guess we know where his priorities are.  From what I understand, the baby is okay which is good.  I can see why Mommy does not want to deal with those kinds of humans, and why she chose to stay home with us dogs.

I have decided to write about some famous Americans in today's blog.  I am going to start with the father of our country, George Washingdog.  I bet you didn't know he was a dog, did you?  Let's face it, a human could not have accomplished so much in his lifetime.  He was a surveyor who measured land--can you think of a more perfect job for a dog?  It is a job where you are out in nature, and you get to enjoy marking territory.  That job has "dog" written all over the job description.  He also led the continental army against Britain, and was smart enough to use new battle tactics like surprising the enemy instead of marching up in a line.  You know a dog had to think of that too.  If you tried to chase a rabbit in a straight line, you would fail because rabbits do all kinds of crazy zigzags.  You'd think they don't want to be dinner.  He became the first President of the United States which is an honor that is alluding modern dogs thanks to the humans' jealousy.  They know we do a much better job running things than they do.  When you see George on the one dollar bill, he may look human, but that is because the humans have altered his appearance over the years so that he looks human.  It is yet another government conspiracy to keep dogs from being in power.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing George Washingdog)