I'm Planning a Special Mother's Day for my Human Mommy

Tomorrow is Mother's Day here in the United States. It is a day set aside to honor our Mothers for all the wonderful things they do for us. I will be honoring my human Mommy who is very good to me. Since she enjoys doing nice things for me, I have the day all planned out for her. First on the agenda is for me to get her up which probably won't happen. Mommy usually gets up before me. This dog does not like to wake up before noon. I'm not a morning dog. I'm sure she will understand, and she can wait to receive my greeting when I finally wake up. That is when the fun will begin. Mommy can run to Burger King or Subway to get me some burgers to eat. This year is the first year that I have added another restaurant besides Burger King to my list so it will be a little more exciting for her this year since she will have a choice. Angel Zoom Smokey is going to allow her to make some chicken because Angel says that she knows Mother's Day would not be complete for Mommy if Angel doesn't have chicken. Then we will get the gifts Mommy has gotten for us. I am sure there will be toys and treats since Mother's Day is a special day, and the only way to celebrate a special day is to give the family dogs gifts! It is even listed in the book of Human-Dog Etiquette that I wrote so you can check and see for yourself that is is proper etiquette for the day. I plan to do some napping so Mommy can sit back and choose a dog movie of her choice because I think Mommy deserves the best in entertainment. When I wake from my nap, Mommy can bring me my usual ice cream, milkbones and rawhide bones which I like to enjoy before I go to bed at night. Yes, as you can see, this will be an exciting day for Mommy. I am so glad that there is a special day set aside for her.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Planning a Mother's Day Celebration)

Today is National No Pants Day

Today is a special day in the United States. It is National No Pants Day. This is the day when the humans decide to skip wearing pants and walk around all day without pants. I have no idea how this day started. I suspect someone hadn't done their laundry in a long time, and announced that it was No Pants Day. Many of the humans will do anything the other humans tell them to do so they jumped on the bandwagon, and National No Pants Day became a tradition. I have to admit that I've never seen anyone in my town without pants on No Pants Day so I suspect that some of the humans either haven't heard about it or they think it is silly. My own humans do not celebrate it, but continue to wear pants just like any other day. However, because dogs enjoy seeing the humans look silly, we dogs are trying to get the word out so that one day, all humans will celebrate all over the world and us dogs will have a good laugh. I honestly don't know what the big deal is anyway. I never wear pants and no one seems to notice. I think the humans are so used to seeing dogs without pants that they don't even notice or think it is unusual. For those who would like to get the tradition going in their area, more information can be found at this site:
www.nopantsday.com/wp/ .

Whether you choose to wear pants or not, I hope my readers have a nice weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Celebrating No Pants Day Everyday)

My "Precious", Mt. Doom, and the Chicken Dance

Today I am going to cover the royal wedding from my own point of view. My previous coverage was from the royal corgi dogs because I didn't bother to watch the royal wedding on television. I had better things to do like lick my paws. Today I saw about 3 minutes of coverage which was all I needed. Some of the human women were wearing hats that made them look super silly. I have no idea why they would want to be seen in such monstrous hats, but I can only assume it is because the royal corgis told them the hats looked good. Most humans ask dogs how they look, and we dogs have a sense of humor and enjoy telling them they look good in silly things. I have to admit that I really don't care what the royal family does or does not do which is why I kept wondering why the news kept yapping about the wedding for so long. It was only a wedding. Judging from the funny hats, it wasn't even a serious occasion. My brother has a jester's hat from a Renaissance Festival, and it looked like it would be worn by a more serious person than some of the hats at the wedding. One lady wore a blue dress and a ridiculous blue hat that looked like it might fall off her head at any time. I can only assume she was the royal wedding jester. I preferred the coverage on The Daily Show because having Gollum from Lord of the Rings as the ring bearer was a brilliant idea. It would have been nicer if only he had been willing to give up "his precious" ring. I know they don't show it on the clip, but Kate had to fight him for it, and Frodo was in the audience hoping to grab the ring so he could take it to Mt. Doom. Frodo really didn't need to worry since I've heard that Mt. Doom is the honeymoon destination. The couple heard their motto: "what happens at Mt. Doom stays at Mt. Doom". It sounds like nothing good ever happens there, but the royal couple didn't ask me for my opinion.

At least the couple didn't do the stupid dance down the aisle at the wedding like Jim and Pam did in the wedding episode of The Office. That episode is a good reason to avoid wedding ideas that appear on Youtube. I'm sure that the wedding reception did include the classic chicken dance which is a "must dance" at every wedding. Personally, I don't approve of the chicken dance because any dance that is named after a "bird" is bad. I am not so sure that the chicken dance was a good idea anyway since the royal family was watching the royal budget. When beans are the main menu item, the chicken dance is not practical. They were serving fruit cake which had been saved from every Christmas since the last royal wedding of Charles and Diana so they only served beans and fruit cake. They tried to cover the frugality of the menu by saying the beans were served in honor of their guest, Mr. Bean, but his name is really Rowan Atchinson so I'm not buying that excuse. I'm not so sure that I would have wanted to eat at the wedding anyway since the beans were from Chernobyl Farms. The beans were free of charge so the Queen was excited about the savings. Now a couple of wedding guests are glowing in the dark so I suppose they are happy about saving money on electricity. I know one friend who managed to crash the wedding by wearing a suit and putting on some Mickey Mouse ears that were purchased at Disney World. People at the wedding thought it was Charles.

Remember if you are a dog and you want to pass as Prince William, that only works for Chinese Crested because other breeds have too much fur.

Demon Flash Bandit (The Real Story of the Royal Wedding)

Dylan Dog

I went to see the movie, Dylan Dog, yesterday because the title made it sound like a "must see" movie. Whenever a movie involves a dog, it makes me want to see it. I enjoyed the movie, but I have to report that there was no dog in the movie. However, Brandon Routh's character was named Dylan Dog. I liked the movie because it is always nice to see a human who wants to be a dog so much that he calls himself a dog. In the near future, I will be posting a movie review of Dylan Dog on my brother's site, http://www.silverscreenhub.com/ . I should add that I think it is very intelligent on my brother's part to cover movie reviews from a dog's point of view. The movie has vampires, werewolves, and zombies so I can only imagine how big it is going to be for the "tween" girls in the audiences since so many of them love the Twilight series. Dylan Dog has both vampires and werewolves with the additional zombies with which teenage girls tend to love. I don't think I have to tell you that teen-age girls are always asking if they can be matched with a zombie because they are so handsome. Additionally, a zombie boyfriend tends to do what he is told which probably is going to make them very popular with older women too. I've heard the women complain about the human men not wanting to carry out the garbage and do other household chores, but a zombie man will do what he is told. In fact, when it comes to garbage, he might even eat some of it for you thus reducing the amount of trash that has to go to a landfill.
I do think the movie could have been improved with the addition of some zombie dogs to the cast.

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing My Opinion of the Movie Dylan Dog)

A Solution to an Everyday Problem

I wonder if my fellow dogs have experienced one of my pet peeves about the humans. Just when a dog lies down and gets comfortable, the humans want to walk over you. Sure, the humans will say it is because some of us like to lay down in the middle of everything and they refer to it as "being in the way" which if you ask me is a bit insulting to us dogs. We aren't "in the way", but it is the humans who are trespassing into our territory. I am a busy dog who has only so much time for eating and sleeping, and I do not like to be disturbed when I am trying to take a nap. As usual, because I am a genius, I have found a solution for this problem. In fact, I have found 2 solutions. One is a human bridge that the human can put over the dog thus being able to walk over the dog without disturbing the dog's rest. The other is putting the human in a crate until our nap is over. Humans put dogs in crates which has never made any sense to me because I always thought it was the humans who should be in the crate while the dog runs free. Yes, once again, Demon Flash Bandit comes through with solutions to everyday problems!

Demon Flash Bandit (Genius Dog With Great Ideas)

Angus Burgers at Subway: Delicious!!!!!

Since I was a puppy, I have loved the burgers from Burger King. I think that realm which is ruled by King Burger must be a magical land filled with delicious foods. It is difficult for my humans to even get me to try another burger--until yesterday. Mommy came home with an Angus burger from Subway, and I actually asked for a bite because it smelled so good. I must let my readers know that it tasted as good as it smelled. Finally, I have found another burger that I will eat. For those of you who have not tried it, I would suggest you get one as soon as possible. I am not being paid by Subway for writing this, but I am doing it because a burger that good deserves my praise. I only wish that Mommy had given me her entire burger. She did share, but I would have liked to have eaten the entire sandwich. If you should decide to try one, be sure and ask to have it toasted because I doubt if it would taste as good cold. I even ate the cheese that was on the burger from Subway. Mommy has to order Burger King burgers for me without cheese because I don't like the cheese they use there. I am picky about cheese, and the cheese Burger King uses does not meet my standards!

I might add that Subway has tasty cookies too, but they do not serve the delicious milkshakes that Burger King serves so perhaps the humans running Subway might check into adding them to the menu. One nice thing about Subway is that you can add bacon, and bacon is also very delicious. I have yet to meet a dog who does not like bacon.

I hope that all my readers are getting tasty items to eat.

Demon Flash Bandit (Subway Burgers Are Delicious)

Birds Do Not Belong on Tshirts

Birds are evil creatures who cause global warming, and are in a massive plot to take over the planet. Most dogs learn this as puppies. Even most cats know this and want to have birds as snacks. Humans just never seem to learn. It is bad enough that they build birdhouses for them, and set out bird feeders filled with bird seed to "take care of the cute birds". In addition, they have invented a video game called Angry Birds. However, when I saw a tshirt being worn by a human that had the face of an "Angry Bird" on it, I got annoyed. Once again, the humans have not been listening to their dogs wisdom. We tell them to destroy all birds, and they act like birds are harmless little creatures. Now some of them are even wearing tshirts that seem to honor birds. When will the humans listen to their dogs and use some sense?

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Dislikes Birds)