Happy Mother's Day to All My Readers

Happy Mother's Day everyone! I know most of my readers already know what Mother's Day is about, but I like to educate the few who might not already know about the holiday. Mother's Day is a day set aside for a Mother to buy her furry children gifts so that she can show how much she appreciates them. I guess the meaning wasn't too clear around here because this dog did not get any gifts from Mommy. She buys me stuff all the time. However, today, a day set aside to give a dog gifts, she didn't even get me Burger King for dinner. I had to settle for chicken. I love Mommy, but I am hoping that she reads the real story of Mother's Day so that she doesn't mess up next year's celebration!

My fellow Siberian husky, Angel Zoom Smokey has been carrying her 3 stuffed husky puppies through the house and complaining that they didn't buy her any gifts. I know it isn't easy for them to buy gifts since they never go shopping. However, considering that Angel has bitten off their eyes and nose, I suspect they didn't feel she deserved a gift. She said that it isn't a gift for Mother of the Year, but a gift for your Mother. I think she has her stuffies on that point.

I did get a promise of Burger King tomorrow. Maybe I'll get some new toys too. A dog can never get too many toys! I hope all my readers had a happy Mother's Day--whether they are Mothers or not, and I hope all my furry readers had humans who understand the holiday.

Demon Flash Bandit (Wishing Everyone a Happy Mother's Day)

Space Satellite Zombies

Just when a dog thinks he can enjoy a pleasant weekend, I get on the Internet and read that there is a zombie satellite causing problems in space. It seems that Galaxy 15 is a satellite that is no longer responding to commands from Earth. Don't we have enough problems with zombies here on Earth? Now we have robot zombies causing problems in space. I know the evil birds are behind this problem. I bet the birds flew out into space, and reprogrammed the satellite so that it would no longer listen to the humans. When will the humans start listening when a dog like myself tries to warn them of the dangers of birds? I am hoping that the dogs from the Dog Star will have the technology to stop Galaxy 15 before the birds are able to do any more harm. I'm so glad there are dogs in space watching out for us!

Kingdom of Dogdom

Once upon a time, in the land of Dogdom, the dogs wanted something new and different to chew on in their spare time. Dogs in Dogdom didn't have a lot of spare time because they were very busy dogs--working, shopping, riding, etc. However, even busy dogs need something to do while they relax and watch television. One day, Danny Dog found some new plants that he had never seen before, and he decided to feed them to the pigs in the kingdom. Low and behold, within a few weeks, the pigs had grown to be giants, which also meant they had giant ears. One pig got his ear caught on a fence post, and the post ripped off his ear. Of course, the pig was very upset, but the dog, not wanting to be wasteful, thought the ear might be a fun thing to chew on in his spare time. One chew was enough to convince Danny Dog that this ear was delicious, and all dogs in the kingdom would enjoy chewing on one. Of course, this would not be possible since the pigs need their ears to hear. Then Danny checked on the pig and discovered that his ear had grown back. The new plant was not only making the pigs giants, but also giving them the power of regeneration. Danny Dog also discovered that losing the ear didn't even hurt the pig. Now the pigs show up everyday and get their ears cut off so that the dogs will have something good to chew on, and the pigs have new ears in a few minutes. This is why Dogdom is such a happy kingdom. Mommy brought me one of those giant ears yesterday, and I can understand why it is a happy kingdom.

Demon Flash Bandit (Story of Giant Pigs' Ears)

Bugs Bunny: Actor Who Deserves an Oscar

I was watching a television show yesterday starring a very talented actor named Bugs Bunny. I was so impressed with his show, that I am hoping to book him to entertain at my birthday party. Although I seriously doubt that a star of his calibre would make a personal appearance unless he is paid a lot of money, he deserves whatever he demands. I probably can't afford to hire him, but he would be a cool entertainer to have at my party, and I would give him all the carrots he can eat.

I have observed that he does have a problem with Albuquerque. I could offer to give him a map of the United States and include a very detailed map of New Mexico so that he doesn't get lost quite so much.

I might add that he makes one good looking girl rabbit. Sure, other actors have dressed as women, but few of them can pull off the look as good as Bugs Bunny does. Has he ever received a well deserved Oscar?

I would love to have his pawtograph. Does anyone know if he does personal appearances?

Demon Flash Bandit (Fan Of Bugs Bunny)

Fish Have to Swim to Learn--Fish School

I was unable to get to blogspot to post my blog yesterday so this made me think that the government has started a conspiracy to keep dogs from posting blogs since we are so much smarter than the humans. I started wondering why the govt. would be so concerned about what I have to say. Then I looked over my past blogs, and realized that they are probably concerned about my rules for training the humans. Can I help it if humans need to be taught dog obedience as soon as possible? I think they are worried about the "not giving a dog a bath without signed and notarized permission from the dog" rule. It seems that I have talked to many dogs and the humans have been giving them unauthorized baths without the necessary permission! Yes, I was upset when I learned this. Now those dogs know their rights, and will be able to put a stop to baths in the future. I suppose that is why the humans don't want dogs to read my blog---they want dogs to live in ignorance so they can continue bathing a dog without consequences.

I don't know if I'm the only one who has wondered about this, but what do fish learn in fish school? When you have more than one fish, the fish is in a school. I guess this is because fish must be super smart creatures who love to learn. However, when you see a bunch of fish together, how do you know who the teacher happens to be? Is it the fish with the paycheck? Do fish teachers have college degrees hanging on a rock for the other fish to see? Does the teacher walk around with a laser pointer? I guess it doesn't really matter if I know who the teacher is as long as the fish know. When they are swimming around in school, are they going on field trips? Is a sunken treasure ship a museum field trip? Do the fish in aquariums stare at the humans watching them and then laugh hysterically at how funny the humans are? I know it is an amusing topic among dogs when we get together. One of my pals the other day was telling me how his human actually thinks that he is in charge. All us dogs were cracking up over that one. To quote a line from the movie, Good Boy--"you don't see us picking up their poop". Truer words have never been spoken--dogs are in charge for that reason.

Demon Flash Bandit (Conspiracy Theory and Fish School)

Howling Huskies--Dog Band That Rocks

As a talented dog and also a member of the rock group, the Howling Huskies, I want to let other musical dogs know that there are guitars that are smaller than the usual size--perfect for children and more importantly, DOGS. To think that for years, a dog couldn't get the proper size guitar so the only dog musicians were the big ones like the Great Danes. Great Danes are wonderful musicians, but most other dogs just aren't big enough to play a regular size adult guitar. I happened to find a website that sells small guitars and I want to share it with my readers. The web address is:
http://www.smallguitars.com/

My personal favorite is the strat style because it looks like my human brother's guitar. Before I got into the Howling Huskies, I was just a regular dog who napped, played with toys, and took the occasional walk. However, I always have loved music, and I would sing along when I heard music. Then Angel Zoom Smokey, another Siberian Husky came to live here, and we decided to from our own rock band. We play for various dog events in the area--weddings, dances, obedience proms, etc. There is nothing like the joy of looking out into the crowd and seeing so many happy faces enjoying our music. I would encourage all dogs to pursue their dreams. For one dog, it might be buying that guitar you have always wanted; and for another dog, it might be taking that human food off the table. Whatever your dreams, Demon Flash Bandit hopes you are happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Member of the Howling Huskies)

Outhouses-

Dogs are used to going outside to water and fertilize the trees and shrubs, and I'm sure those plants are pleased to have us dogs around to take care of them. There was a time when humans used to go outside for the same reason. They had a little building called an outhouse which they used because there was no "inside outhouse". There are still a few humans today who use this method, but it has become very much a thing of the past for most of the humans. However, this dog was curious so I did some research on the subject. You'll be happy to know that there are websites dedicated to this subject so it must be one of those nostalgic type subjects the humans love to reminisce about. One website, The Outhouses of America Tour is a wonderful resource for those who want to read more about this delightful subject. The web address is:
http://outhousetour.com


You might think that websites are the only way to find out more about outhouses, but there is actually a museum dedicated to outhouses in Liverpool, Nova Scotia, which is in Canada for my readers who weren't fond of geography. For those who would like more information on visiting this museum, you can find check out its website:
http://www.outhousemuseum.com/

One advantage to the old days of the outhouse from a dog's point of view is that it was a lot harder to bother a dog by giving him a bath back then. With progress, there comes more baths. It does make this dog wonder if those really weren't the good old days for dogs. I think I'll have to try to find some dogs old enough to remember those days so I can ask them about how they were.

If your humans are looking for a fun vacation spot, I think The Outhouse Museum sounds like a good choice. I wonder--do they allow dogs?

Demon Flash Bandit (Wondering About the "Good Old Days")