Today's blog is going to be about a wonderful dog treat, Yummy Chummies. Yummy Chummies are treats that are made in Alaska from salmon. Since I happen to be a Siberian Husky, I think Alaska is paradise, and so it is not surprising that one of my favorite treats comes from that paradise. However, I think all dog breeds enjoy them--even the breeds who don't consider the lovely winter weather in Alaska to be paradise. Arctic Paws, the company that makes Yummy Chummies, deserves to be congratulated by this dog for making a very tasty treat. A lot of stores don't carry them, but you can find them on the internet, and I'm sure more stores would start carrying them if they knew the humans would buy them for their dogs. Easter will be here in a few days, and Yummy Chummies would be great in a dog's Easter basket. In case you are wondering, this dog is not being paid to push this product, but I would gladly be their spokesdog. However, I am sure they don't have to worry about finding a spokesdog since I have yet to meet a dog who wouldn't recommend these treats. Today's blog is what I like to refer to as a public service blog for dogs. NOTE FOR DOGS READING THIS: If you happen to be a breed that is capable of pulling a sled, and your humans won't buy these for you, I suggest you mush on up to Alaska to get some for yourself. You'll be glad you did!
Demon Flash Bandit (Yummy Chummies are Great Treats!)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Demon Flash Bandit of All Trades
Last night Mommy and myself were watching a television show from the years 2000-2001, Jack of All Trades. I enjoyed this show. It took place after the American Revolutionary War. Jack Stiles, is an American agent working with a British agent, on an island in the south Pacific. Their job was to stop Napoleon's colonizing efforts. Bruce Campbell played the part of Jack Stiles, and he also played the part of the Daring Dragoon, the masked man with the cape who was actually Jack Stiles, but of course, the French people never realized this fact. I liked this show, and I have to tell you that Jack Stiles reminds me of myself. I can see myself playing a part like this if they decided to redo this television show starring dogs instead of humans. In fact, I think many television shows would be vastly improved if they replaced the humans with dogs. Speaking of entertaining dogs, there is a movie trailer out for the movie, Marmaduke, and it looks like one awesome movie. I loved the end of the trailer when all the dogs are dancing. Marmaduke is a movie that had the good sense to cast a lot of dogs--I'm hoping it wins an Oscar for best picture.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs In Entertainment)
Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs In Entertainment)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Humans Should Learn to Speak Dog
I was looking through some of the computer software that my humans have sitting around here. Imagine my annoyance when I found one that is supposed to teach the humans 51 languages, and dog is not among them. Bird isn't on there either so that explains why the birds can sit and plot against the humans without the humans having any idea what they are planning to do to them. One of my brothers learned ancient Greek and the humans don't even speak it anymore yet the college he attended still offered it. Wouldn't dog be a better language to offer the humans? One of my pals who happens to be a cat isn't too happy with the humans attitude toward teaching language either. He said if the humans took cat, they could understand him when he tells them what his menu choice for the day happens to be. It does sound like knowing what the cat wants for dinner would make life easier for the humans--they wouldn't have to put food in a bowl that the cat isn't going to eat. I suppose the humans don't bother to think about the practicality of what they learn--they like to learn silly things that don't matter to a dog.
How many of you dogs have heard of the story of Beauty and the Beast? I was very disappointed with this story because I thought that "Beauty" would be a dog. It turns out she was human. If you ask my opinion, how can humans be beautiful when they have those little noses that don't even smell very much? I won't even bother to list all the things that are silly looking about the humans. I happen to think the beast was one good looking guy. I bet it was a human who wrote the story. I do think it is a sweet story though--a handsome beast falling for a silly looking human. Actually, we dogs love humans so I guess dogs have a similar story--we could write Beauty and the Human.
I hope everyone had a nice weekend, and I hope the week is starting out good.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Thinks Dogs are Beautiful)
How many of you dogs have heard of the story of Beauty and the Beast? I was very disappointed with this story because I thought that "Beauty" would be a dog. It turns out she was human. If you ask my opinion, how can humans be beautiful when they have those little noses that don't even smell very much? I won't even bother to list all the things that are silly looking about the humans. I happen to think the beast was one good looking guy. I bet it was a human who wrote the story. I do think it is a sweet story though--a handsome beast falling for a silly looking human. Actually, we dogs love humans so I guess dogs have a similar story--we could write Beauty and the Human.
I hope everyone had a nice weekend, and I hope the week is starting out good.
Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Thinks Dogs are Beautiful)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Fleas: Nature's Jerks
With warmer temperatures approaching, it is a good time to talk about a dog's arch enemy: the flea. There are many chemical treatments on the market to get rid of fleas, but many humans do not like to use those chemicals so that means they might like to have a natural treatment that will get rid of fleas. For those humans, I have done some painstaking research on the internet for the best ways to get rid of fleas naturally. Okay, I spent about 5 minutes of time researching the topic, but that would be about 35 minutes in dog time.
I think the most logical natural method of getting rid of fleas is to use their natural predators against them. Their natural predators are ants, spiders, ground beetles, and birds. I know I hate to admit that birds are good for anything and normally, I would tell you to kill a bird on sight, but perhaps you could kill them after they eat the fleas in your area. It is customary to give a human their last meal before an execution so you are just letting the birds have a last meal of some tasty fleas. For this method to work, you are going to have to get a lot of the predators and let them loose wherever the dogs happens to be. The dog can laugh about it because he can watch the fleas be eaten by the bugs who think the fleas are gourmet food.
For some of you who might be asking, what do we do about the ants, spiders, and ground beetles once the fleas are gone? The answer it simple, you bring in the predators of those creatures, or you can take the simple route and just spray some bug killing chemicals. Some of you may be asking, why not just spray chemicals in the beginning? If you had done that in the first place, you wouldn't have gotten to experience the joy of seeing and hearing the fleas scream in fear while they are being eaten--and that is a pleasant experience for a dog. I think we share the same opinion of fleas with the humans. I have yet to meet a human who likes them.
Now, I must mush off the computer and make sure that there are no fleas around the house.
Demon Flash Bandit (Fleas: Nature's Jerks)
I think the most logical natural method of getting rid of fleas is to use their natural predators against them. Their natural predators are ants, spiders, ground beetles, and birds. I know I hate to admit that birds are good for anything and normally, I would tell you to kill a bird on sight, but perhaps you could kill them after they eat the fleas in your area. It is customary to give a human their last meal before an execution so you are just letting the birds have a last meal of some tasty fleas. For this method to work, you are going to have to get a lot of the predators and let them loose wherever the dogs happens to be. The dog can laugh about it because he can watch the fleas be eaten by the bugs who think the fleas are gourmet food.
For some of you who might be asking, what do we do about the ants, spiders, and ground beetles once the fleas are gone? The answer it simple, you bring in the predators of those creatures, or you can take the simple route and just spray some bug killing chemicals. Some of you may be asking, why not just spray chemicals in the beginning? If you had done that in the first place, you wouldn't have gotten to experience the joy of seeing and hearing the fleas scream in fear while they are being eaten--and that is a pleasant experience for a dog. I think we share the same opinion of fleas with the humans. I have yet to meet a human who likes them.
Now, I must mush off the computer and make sure that there are no fleas around the house.
Demon Flash Bandit (Fleas: Nature's Jerks)
Friday, March 26, 2010
Cars: Should a Dog Drive Them or Eat Them?
I am pleased to announce that Winston, the dog who tried to eat the police car in Chattanooga, Tennessee is not going to be put to death. He does have to go to school. I wonder--is the school going to teach him not to eat police cars or to eat them and not get caught? I suppose it depends on who is running the school--humans or dogs. I think he thought the car was an over sized chew toy. He probably thought he had won the chew toy jackpot! Since the car was there to catch speeders, I am wondering if Winston has been driving around and perhaps he got a ticket for speeding and he was still mad so he went after the car.
I personally have wanted to drive since I was a puppy. I think I would be a better driver than at least 40% of the humans that are on the road, and one advantage with me is that I won't be chatting on a cell phone since I don't have one. Cell phones are just one more luxury that most of us dogs are denied. You would think they would make an exception for dogs like Underdog since sometimes a super dog is needed in a hurry, but I bet even Underdog doesn't have a cell phone. Anyway, just because I think dogs can drive a car, cats should never be allowed to drive. Since cats have 9 lives, they take too many chances and are very bad drivers.
As you might have guessed, Underdog is a big hero of mine. Very much like Superman, Underdog has a secret identity of Shoeshine Boy until trouble rears its ugly head when he becomes Underdog. He is always watching out for his girlfriend, Polly Purebred. I suppose he will have to be protecting her from the folks at PETA since they have been on a crusade against pure bred dogs which means that they are probably acting on the whims of Simon Bar Sinister or Riff Raff. You can just tell from their names that they are villains. By the way, I have yet to meet a dog who really cares if another dog is a pure breed dog or not. If you happen to be in a precarious situation and you hear the words, "there's no need to fear, Underdog is here". You will know that you will be okay.
I might add that Mommy was watching the fourth season of My Name is Earl last night, and it reminded this dog that the executives who cancelled the show are the same idiots who got rid of Conan and put Leno back on the Tonight Show. How do those network executives get those jobs anyway? If I were in charge, they would be on the unemployment line. Several episodes of the season did have some dogs on them so for you dogs out there, those episodes in particular are worth watching.
It is time for me to mush off the computer. I hope all my readers have a wonderful weekend.
Demon Flash Bandit (Cars: More Than Something In Which To Ride)
I personally have wanted to drive since I was a puppy. I think I would be a better driver than at least 40% of the humans that are on the road, and one advantage with me is that I won't be chatting on a cell phone since I don't have one. Cell phones are just one more luxury that most of us dogs are denied. You would think they would make an exception for dogs like Underdog since sometimes a super dog is needed in a hurry, but I bet even Underdog doesn't have a cell phone. Anyway, just because I think dogs can drive a car, cats should never be allowed to drive. Since cats have 9 lives, they take too many chances and are very bad drivers.
As you might have guessed, Underdog is a big hero of mine. Very much like Superman, Underdog has a secret identity of Shoeshine Boy until trouble rears its ugly head when he becomes Underdog. He is always watching out for his girlfriend, Polly Purebred. I suppose he will have to be protecting her from the folks at PETA since they have been on a crusade against pure bred dogs which means that they are probably acting on the whims of Simon Bar Sinister or Riff Raff. You can just tell from their names that they are villains. By the way, I have yet to meet a dog who really cares if another dog is a pure breed dog or not. If you happen to be in a precarious situation and you hear the words, "there's no need to fear, Underdog is here". You will know that you will be okay.
I might add that Mommy was watching the fourth season of My Name is Earl last night, and it reminded this dog that the executives who cancelled the show are the same idiots who got rid of Conan and put Leno back on the Tonight Show. How do those network executives get those jobs anyway? If I were in charge, they would be on the unemployment line. Several episodes of the season did have some dogs on them so for you dogs out there, those episodes in particular are worth watching.
It is time for me to mush off the computer. I hope all my readers have a wonderful weekend.
Demon Flash Bandit (Cars: More Than Something In Which To Ride)
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Rules for Humans
My humans went to see Shutter Island at the theatre yesterday. I would love to give you a review of the movie, but dogs aren't allowed in the theatre so I didn't get to see it. It is just one more item on the list of things dogs aren't allowed to do. You know who makes these rules---humans make them. I think it is about time we make some rules for them:
1. I know the milkbones look tasty, but they are for dogs. Keep your human noses out of them.
2. If the dog lives outside and has a doghouse, it is for the dog. The human cannot stay in the doghouse no matter how much trouble he or she (usually he) has gotten himself into with the other human or humans in the house.
3. The rawhide bones and other chewy bones belong to the dog----keep your paws off of them!
4. Ask your dog's permission before you use his water bowl for disgusting things. Some dogs like myself don't drink out of them, but some do so ask permission before you assume the dog doesn't want to drink from it.
5. Dead animals belong to the dog--don't try to take them for yourselves. We know where they are, and you aren't fooling us with that disgusting look--we know you want them for yourselves.
6. We do not share our food with the humans. You have your own food. This rule does not apply to your food which should be shared with the dog.
7. Do not give your dog a bath unless he asks for it---preferably in writing and notarized. Without that signed permission, NO BATHS!
8. When you take a dog for a walk, you should ask where the dog wants to walk--it is the dog's walk, not the humans' walk.
9. Furniture is far more comfortable than the floor. Dogs should be able sit on whatever furniture they choose to sit their tails down on, and if the floor is so comfortable, let the humans sleep on it while the dog sleeps on the bed.
10. All "accidents" are the humans' faults---they obviously didn't let a dog out when the dog needed to go out.
11. Don't wake us from our naps. We need at least 18 hours of sleep a day, and if we don't get it, we can get grouchy.
I'm sure there are more, but these rules are a start. I dream of the day when we can go anywhere the humans go. Actually, with all the naps I take, I have plenty of time for dreaming. I've got to mush on into the bed now so I can take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Rules to Live By)
1. I know the milkbones look tasty, but they are for dogs. Keep your human noses out of them.
2. If the dog lives outside and has a doghouse, it is for the dog. The human cannot stay in the doghouse no matter how much trouble he or she (usually he) has gotten himself into with the other human or humans in the house.
3. The rawhide bones and other chewy bones belong to the dog----keep your paws off of them!
4. Ask your dog's permission before you use his water bowl for disgusting things. Some dogs like myself don't drink out of them, but some do so ask permission before you assume the dog doesn't want to drink from it.
5. Dead animals belong to the dog--don't try to take them for yourselves. We know where they are, and you aren't fooling us with that disgusting look--we know you want them for yourselves.
6. We do not share our food with the humans. You have your own food. This rule does not apply to your food which should be shared with the dog.
7. Do not give your dog a bath unless he asks for it---preferably in writing and notarized. Without that signed permission, NO BATHS!
8. When you take a dog for a walk, you should ask where the dog wants to walk--it is the dog's walk, not the humans' walk.
9. Furniture is far more comfortable than the floor. Dogs should be able sit on whatever furniture they choose to sit their tails down on, and if the floor is so comfortable, let the humans sleep on it while the dog sleeps on the bed.
10. All "accidents" are the humans' faults---they obviously didn't let a dog out when the dog needed to go out.
11. Don't wake us from our naps. We need at least 18 hours of sleep a day, and if we don't get it, we can get grouchy.
I'm sure there are more, but these rules are a start. I dream of the day when we can go anywhere the humans go. Actually, with all the naps I take, I have plenty of time for dreaming. I've got to mush on into the bed now so I can take a nap.
Demon Flash Bandit (Rules to Live By)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Super Sized Fantasyland is Not Dog World
About a week ago, I wrote a blog suggesting that Disney should open a new park for dogs and call it Disney Dog World. Actually I don't care what they call it as long as dogs are allowed and it is fun for dogs and their humans. I wrote the article because Disney does not allow dogs in their established parks. They do have kennels in which the dogs can stay while the humans enjoy the park, but no dog wants to be put in doggy jail while his or her humans are having fun. Today I saw in the news that Disney World plans to double the size of Fantasyland. The Dumbo ride will be bigger, and some of the new attractions will be interactive. It is nice that Disney plans to make this improvement, but there was no mention of them opening Disney Dog World as I suggested, a fact which has annoyed me greatly. My blog was right there on the internet for them to read. I could have become an consultant and charged them lots of Burger King gift cards for the idea, but I was kind enough to offer my suggestions free of charge, and the humans running Disney probably didn't even read them.
This brings me to another point. I haven't checked into it, but if we aren't allowed in parks, we probably aren't allowed to vacation on the Disney Cruise ship either. That Disney cruise ship looks like a lot of fun. There are lots of humans to play with and they have swimming, games, and the best thing of all---FOOD. I think a lot of dogs could spend the whole cruise in the dining room eating, and think it was the best vacation of their lives!!! Of course, if we aren't allowed in parks, I doubt that we are allowed on their ship either. That brings up another point---what are old dogs supposed to do for fun? I've observed that many of the older humans love to go on cruises so I bet they must be super fun for the senior citizen humans. Senior dogs like to have fun too! I bet the mouse is allowed on their ship. That mouse seems to be able to do anything he wants to do in the Disney Kingdom. I would love to introduce him to some of the cats I know--they would take care of him in a couple of minutes, and be licking their lips in glee.
I hope Disney comes to their senses and spends some money to open Disney Dog World, and if they do ever open it, I hope they allow Burger King to sell their burgers there because BK is my favorite food!
Demon Flash Bandit (Waiting for Disney to Open Disney Dog World)
This brings me to another point. I haven't checked into it, but if we aren't allowed in parks, we probably aren't allowed to vacation on the Disney Cruise ship either. That Disney cruise ship looks like a lot of fun. There are lots of humans to play with and they have swimming, games, and the best thing of all---FOOD. I think a lot of dogs could spend the whole cruise in the dining room eating, and think it was the best vacation of their lives!!! Of course, if we aren't allowed in parks, I doubt that we are allowed on their ship either. That brings up another point---what are old dogs supposed to do for fun? I've observed that many of the older humans love to go on cruises so I bet they must be super fun for the senior citizen humans. Senior dogs like to have fun too! I bet the mouse is allowed on their ship. That mouse seems to be able to do anything he wants to do in the Disney Kingdom. I would love to introduce him to some of the cats I know--they would take care of him in a couple of minutes, and be licking their lips in glee.
I hope Disney comes to their senses and spends some money to open Disney Dog World, and if they do ever open it, I hope they allow Burger King to sell their burgers there because BK is my favorite food!
Demon Flash Bandit (Waiting for Disney to Open Disney Dog World)
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