Show Biz Dogs--Porthos and Me

Today I am going to share an interview with a famous actor from the television show, Star Trek Enterprise. This is the first interview that this actor has ever given--his name is Prada and he played Captain Archer's dog, Porthos. The web address is: http://www.startrek.com/article/porthos-had-it-ruff-on-enterprise Porthos was the most important character on Star Trek Enterprise, and I'm not just saying that because I'm also a dog. For those of you who have checked out the Legoland royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, you probably noticed that I am in the front roll seat, but it is inaccurate. That is where I would sit if I were attending, but as my regular readers already know, I refused the invitation when Bo Obama and his humans were excluded from the guest list. I think the nice folks at Lego are just hoping I will change my mind, but I won't. We Siberian huskies are known to be stubborn dogs when we make up our minds about something. I have an exciting announcement to make. I got a personal call from Keanu Reeves asking me to play his dog in the upcoming sequel, Bill and Ted 3. I am very honored to be asked because I thought both movies were excellent. (What else could they be--they were excellent adventures--it says so in the title?) I am thinking it over. I will have to read the script and make sure that I would be paid enough for all that work. Personally, I prefer scripts where I nap while the humans are around me. Napping happens to be a hobby of mine. Anyway, I will let you know more when I find out more myself. I have a feeling that the studio will be too cheap to pay me the millions I require for showing up. I think I should get more money than Charlie Sheen because I'm not insane. Demon Flash Bandit (Show Biz Dog)

Cobras, Tortoises, and the Royal Bachelor Party

Zoos are having their problems this week. In addition to the cobra that is lost from the Bronx Zoo in New York, there is a rare tortoise that is missing from the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs, Colorado. The rare tortoise named Butti is missing from a hands on exhibit called "The Loft". He and his brother, Tutti, are part of the exhibit, and the zoo officials think someone "walked off" with him. He is about the size of a grapefruit and weighs about 1 pound, and he is an Indian Star Tortoise. Zoo officials are hoping that he will be returned to the zoo because they are worried about him. The cobra is still lost, but now has 86,000 followers on Twitter under the name, BronxZooCobra. The cobra has been tweeting about his fun sightseeing trip about New York City where he thanks the animals from the movie, Madagascar, for being his inspiration. He stopped by Wall Street, but the humans there made his skin crawl. He has been to High Line Park and Rockefeller Plaza, and has tweeted his complaints about being unable to grab get a cab. Evidently, he is a Justin Beiber fan because one tweet said "I just want Justin Bieber to follow me.". I assume that he will be visiting the Statue of Liberty and the United Nations next. Perhaps the officials at the Bronx Zoo should be following his tweets to find out where he might be next. For those of you who are wondering if I was invited to the royal bachelor party or "stag do" as it is called by the British, yes I was. As my regular readers are already aware, I was asked to the wedding, but I refused to attend because they did not invite Bo Obama, the first dog or his humans. I did attend the bachelor party because that consisted of 20 of Prince William's closest friends. Prince Harry threw the party for his brother, and it was wonderful. It was a "secret" so I won't divulge too many of the details, but I will tell you that the food was from Burger King. If you are going to have a royal party, then you need royal food to match the occasion, and the Burger King never fails to please. This dog loves it!!! It was a great party, and I even had a few minutes to spend with the Queen Lady, who was very happy to see me. You might say that among the royal family, I am a "BIG DOG". I couldn't stay and visit with her long because I had a special private plane take me there, and I needed to get back home. I had naps waiting here with my name on them. Demon Flash Bandit (Attended Royal Bachelor Party)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to all my readers. I know my humans have a surprise for me that I will get later today. I hope the surprise involves some new toys and treats.
Since it is Valentine's Day and the news has the announcement that Prince William's Best Man will be his brother, Prince Harry. I want to let everyone know that Prince William wanted me to be the Best Man, but I declined. I think it is best that he choose his brother. I hate getting dressed up. I don't have to be quite so formal if I'm just sitting in the audience. Besides, I hate having to stand on my paws when I can be sitting down resting. This dog likes to relax which is why I take my naps very seriously.
In local news, there is the continuing controversy over whether the citizens of Michigan should be called Michiganders or Michiganians. I prefer Michidogs, but I don't think the humans deserve to be called dogs. It is too much of an honor to bestow that title on a human.
I need to get back to napping so I will be awake and alert for my Valentine's Day surprise!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Surprises)

Royal Wedding Invitation

I notice that my secretary did not delete the first paragraph of my blog yesterday as she was instructed by me. This is not the first time my secretary (obviously of the human persuasion) has not followed my orders. If she did not work free, I would fire her, and hire someone more dependable and obedient.

As many of my regular readers are already aware, I have been sharing correspondence with the Queen Lady (the Queen of England) ever since she came to New York City, and the Daily Show announced that she was having to cut back on household expenses. I felt bad for her so I offered her a job mowing my yard, an offer which she was happy to receive. However, family obligations have kept her from fulfilling her dream of mowing my yard. When Prince William announced the royal engagement, I assumed that this would be another year when the Queen Lady would have family obligations standing in the way of her lawn mowing dream. However, I received this letter yesterday, and I want to share it with my readers.

Dear Demon Flash Bandit,
How is my good pal doing? I hope this letter finds you in good health and enjoying some wonderful snow. I know you have heard about my grandson's upcoming wedding, and I want you to know that the date is set for April 29, 2011. This will give me the summer free to come by your house, meet you, and mow your yard. I have been anxious to meet you ever since we first started corresponding. I hope that you will be able to give me some practical advice for dealing with some of the political problems we have here while I am there because your dog advice is so valuable. I know your advice is highly sought after by world leaders so I hope you will have time to oblige me with this request. I'm so glad that someone of your dog intelligence and gift for diplomacy is available to help world leaders solve problems. If only all of them listened to your wisdom, the world would be a better place.

It is my wish that you can attend the wedding. I know you are a busy dog, but having you come to the wedding is all the kids can talk about. Last night at dinner, both William and Kate were asking me if I had heard from Demon Flash Bandit and was he available to attend their wedding. It would be such an honor if you grace us with your presence.

I am so pleased to count you as a friend, and I hope you won't think I'm bragging too much when I tell people that Demon Flash Bandit and myself are close pals.

Love, Queen Lady Elizabeth

I was touched by this letter. I get a lot of letters from celebrities, but I always enjoy hearing from her Majesty, the Queen Lady. It would be nice to attend the wedding, but this dog refuses to wear a tuxedo so if that is required, I won't be attending. I have standards.

Demon Flash Bandit (Corresponding with Her Majesty, The Queen Lady)