Saturday, January 30, 2016


Is it a bird falling?  Is it a plane crashing?  It is a bird that has received a direct hit from my anti-bird flamethrower.  I might add that I wIll be including a review of weapons in my next book.  It is soon to be released.  "How to protect yourself from birds".   Please join me so that we can rid this beautiful planet of birds
 I do not recommend any products from Acme Is Us.   Their prices are cheap. but their merchandise isn't made well.  I won't mention the name, but I have a coyote friend who chases a bird.   I'll call him William Coyote.  William continues to buy Acme products because coyotes are cheap. Our cousins the wolves,l
 Coyotes, and foxes, are not as smart as us dogs.  Most of us Dogs share the house with our humans, and we are allowed to get on the comfortable furniture.  When I chase birds, it is a hobby and a public services.    I don't need to eat them

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog.With a Hobby)


Friday, January 22, 2016

Falling in love: an Act of Treason

Birds do it. Bees do it.  Even educated flees do it.
Let's do it.  Let's fall in love.

This is the kind of song that is dangerous because it sounds like such an innocent little song that However, because dogs are much better at sniffing out problems, they can't fool my special panel of dogs which I head..mAs soon as I heard this song for the first time that I called an emergency meeting.  All the dogs voted unanimously that singing it is a threat to life as we know it
Lets examine the lyrics.  Birds and bees fall  in love. Birds, bees, and fleas are  small but they cause a lot of trouble.  Why are the humans educating the fleas?  No wonder the humans complain about paying taxes.  Humans need to charge the fleas with treason and thereafter birds and bees can be be tried on the same charge.

Demon Flash Bandit  (Very Important Puppy)


Tuesday, January 19, 2016

My Entertainment

Netflix really needs to improve their entertainment options. While it is nice to make decisions based on past selections, they should make sense.  For example, when I have watched Snow Dogs, Eight Below or Marley and Me
are sensible suggestions for similar movies. Hannibal Lector is not.  I don't even understand why a dog would want to see Hannibal Lector.  It sounds like a disgusting movie with no redeeming qualities

Demon Flash Bandit (No Use for Horror Movies)

Monday, January 18, 2016

When a Tree Falls, Does a Dog Notice?

This is a public service blog from your friend,  Demon Flash Bandit.  This is a breaking news story that I witnessed first-paw.  Therefore this story will make me as famous as  Leonard Labrador and Beagle Bernstein, also known as Deep Bark.  They are the songwriting duo who wrote Captain Kangaroo's theme song and Underdog's classic line. " have no fear, Undetdog is here.

The event was when our Christmas tree attacked Angel Zoom Smokey.  It wasn't a real tree  because real trees appreciate a dog's attention and constant watering.  I'm glad the tree is no longer up, but it will be brought out again next year.  Will it be worse?  There is no excuse for the tree's horrible behavior.  Angel was  sniffing under the tree in case it started growing food. It did not hurt her this time,  but she will be in therapy for years due to the trauma.

I don't know what the humans are going to do about the situation.  They haven't solved the killer tomato.problem yet

Demon Flash Bandit (Serious Journalist)

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Restaurants do not Deserve 5 Stars

Every dog gets in the mood to brush off his fur, and go out for a nice dinner.  Last night I was in that kind of mood myself.  I told humom to make reservations for Angel and myself so that we could enjoy an excellent repast.  Normally, I am very happy eating Burger King Whoppers or a double burger from Wendys.  All of the restaurants humom called said the FDA has rules about feeding dogs.  Why would the Federal Dogfeeding Association be against feeding dogs?    I.wrote my congressdog to complain.  When they discriminate against dogs, they do not deserve the 5 star rating.  I.need to report them to Chef Ramsey.  They are truly Kitchen Nightmares

Demon Flash Bandit (Restaurant Critic)


Monday, January 11, 2016

Chicken Obesity'

Many news articles have been written about the obesity.problem in the United States.  Humans are eating more protein so the farmers are raising fatter chickens to keep up with the demand.  I think this trend could stop with some money set aside for chicken education. For the most part, chickens are uneducated.  Few chickens attend school.  I have never met  a teacher of the chicken species.  Angel Zoom Smokey is asking the government for a grant of $10,000,000 for  chicken education.
Humans prefer to eat fat chickens so for a long, healthy life, a chicken should try for the scrawny look.  It is a real lifesaver.

Demon Flash Bandit (Educating Chickens)

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Star Wars-Don't Miss It !!!

This is the blog that my fans have been waiting anxiously for me to publish.
  Finally,  I am writing about the most anticipated movie ever to grace the silver screen.  That movie, of course, is Star Wars:  The Force Awakens.  This movie gets the special Snowdog award from Demon Flash Bandit.
  The movie did well even though most humans have not seen it yet because they were waiting until  I wrote a movie review on my blog.
 Jeff went to see it before now.  He said it was very good so I'll go and see it now. I made the mistake and I attended the first prequel
That movie was so bad that I wasted my money going to see it.  When you visit the theatre and tell them I recommend this movie.  It is about time I think it is about time for the theare to give a dog free inconcessions.
DemonFlash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Television Review: Gilmore Girls

Humom has been watching an old tv show called Gilmore Girls.  Why she ever wasted her money on all the seasons makes no sense to me.  I will admit that, like most of the offerings on tv, it isn't enjoyable to me and other dogs
  When a dog lives with humans on an everyday basis, a dog learns to nap a lot-which is what I was doing when humom watched G. Girls.  This show is about the lives of a mother, (Lorilei) and her daughter, (Rory) who live in a perfect little town.  The pair are best friends.  The town in which they live is  populated by interesting and eccentric humans who, of course, adore the two of them By the way, I sense a complete lack of imagination because Rory is a nickname because the daughter's name is also Lorilei.   Did I mention the Lorilei's  parents are wealthy?  Well, they are.
  Lorilei made it a point to make it financially on her own and not be dependent on her parent's money.  Rory had planned to attend Harvard since she was a baby so Lori made the ultimate sacrifice and agreed to eat with her parents once a week in exchange for the tuition payment. I was beginning to worry that, by the time college  tuition came up, they might have to take a vacation to DisneyWorld.   Evidently, Rory is a young genius.  It seems to me that a young genius should be able to learn by reading books which are free at the library.  Rory's high school tuition was a total of $75,000.  I won't expose any more of the suspenseful plot because I've told you too much as it is.  The only reason I am writing about this show is because, when I was about to give this show a bad review, I saw a redeeming portion  at a town meeting.  One of the prominent citizens of the town brought up their bird problem.  Humom asked me if I wrote that episode, but I didn't. However, I did do the  consulting work.  I often am asked to give my expert opinion.on birds to groups and individuals.  The show suggested putting spikes on the top  of fences to impale the birds that land there.  I applaud those creative humans that see birds for what they are:  evil varmints.  Overall, this is a show that you should sleep through and only watch the town meetings.

Demon Flash Bandit (Television Critic)

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Great Party and Good Luck

My year has started out well.  My humans ordered Chinese food for everyone in our family.  Yes, that included Angel and me. Both of us love almond chicken.  This is not the traditional New Year's Day dinner that my humom's mother used to make. My grand humom would not serve chicken on the first day of the year.  The meal is supposed to be lucky, and eating chicken means you will be scratching for a living all of the following year
   Pork is supposed to be eaten so that you can "live high off the hog".  Black eyed peas are also on the lucky meal menu as are turnip and/ or collard greens.  This meal is accompanied by cornbread.  Many southerners continue to eat this food every New Year's Day.  Some of my readers might wonder why my humom has the bravery to risk the year 's happiness by ignoring tradition.  She has a different viewpoint.
 She says if you have to cook dinner yourself, it a bad way to start out the year.  However, eating at a restaurant is indicative of a good year.  Angel and I don't want to risk a year of bad luck so we ate ham, pork chops, and bacon.  We had a lot of meat left leftover from my big new years eve party.  The party had a record setting number of dogs attending.  I hope all the dogs enjoyed it I did.  I want to thank  "The Travelling Chihuahuas" for entertaining the crowd.  I hope to see all of you at my next party!

Demon Flash Bandit ( Lucky Host)