Thursday, January 31, 2013


Humans say such weird things.  When  another human is busy, they say that the other human is "as busy as a bee".  This is supposed to be a compliment, but it makes no sense to me.  Why would it be a compliment to compare another human to an annoying flying creature that can sting?  Besides, how do we know that bees are busy.  Maybe they are just pretending to work when the "boss" bee is around, and the rest of the time, they are sitting around eating honey and gossiping with each other.  Sometimes the humans say, "busy as a beaver", and I can at least see how that is a compliment since beavers are cute little furry animals who do not sting a dog or human.  Of course, their main business is building dams so they aren't doing anything  important to me.  I guess the dams are important to the beavers.  It is wise to watch out when you are in a forest where the beavers are working.  A dog does not need a tree falling on his or her head!  Once again, Demon Flash Bandit is watching out for my pals.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Busy Napping)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

:"Sweet" Love Story

Once upon a time in the land of Hostessville, there lived a young cowboy named Twinkie the Kid.  He was a dashing young cake in his cowboy hat with his lariat.  He was the kind of cake that the young girls can't resist.  He spent most of his time hanging out with the cupcakes and the ding dongs until one day a young Swiss Cake Roll arrived from Littledebbieland.  It was love at first sight for the two, and they spent many happy years together.  It was from this union that Twinkie Jr., with the chocolate filling came about.  We dogs spent many happy hours trying to sneak the cakes from the counter with our counter surfing--often successfully.  Alas, all good flavors come to an end, and Hostessville was shut down due to bankruptcy.  I'm just glad that there is a sweet story to come from all of this and many happy hours of doggy counter surfing.

Demon Flash Bandit (Relating a "Sweet" Love Story)

Monday, January 28, 2013

Tired Dog

This will be a short blog today because I was up early this morning.  I was woke up by the humans at 8:00AM this morning.  I looked out expecting to see dawn, but the sun was already up.  It must come up before 8:00 o'clock which means that the sun is definitely not a dog because,  if the sun were a dog, it would get up later.  Personally, I hate to wake up before noon.  Because I am so tired from rising so early, I have to take a nap.  How do the humans who get up early to go to work do it?  I am lucky we dogs aren't expected to hold down jobs.  They do not sound  like they are fun at all.

Demon Flash Bandit (Tired Dog)

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Fur Producer

Some of my many fans have asked me if I produce anything that I'd like to write about, and it just so happens that I do.  I produce soft, lovely fur which I leave everywhere for the humans to enjoy.  My humans say that my fur is as soft as that of their Dutch bunny, Flash, but he wasn't thoughtful enough to leave it everywhere as I do mine.  I have left enough fur to clog up a vacuum cleaner, and to actually make several teams of sled dogs if a dog only needed fur and nothing else.  My fur can be cloned to make a copy of me. However,  I am still the original so don't assume that you could take my fur and get another blogging dog.  My "clones" probably would not have the vast education that I have had.  A dog who blogs needs a good education; and sadly, some of the humans neglect their dogs education.  Obedience school does not count as education because it is for the humans--and they seldom learn to obey their dogs even after attending!

Demon Flash Bandit (Fur Producer)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Humans With Phd Degrees

I know that it is unusual for a human to be intelligent, and even then, they are never as smart as a dog.  However, I think that the smart humans with advanced degrees are really pushing it when they get a Phd.  I just don't see the need to brag about how they pee in high definition.  I think peeing is something that is not really necessary to brag about in the first place, and all of us dogs pee in high definition.  We just don't see the need to brag about it like the humans.  I do realize that, for the humans, that is probably one of the highest achievements that they will ever reach, but it still sounds silly to brag about it.  Don't even get me started on the humans like Henry II who feel the need to brag about his ability to poop.  Hasn't he read the book, Everyone Poops (Except Demon Flash Bandit)?  Dogs understand the humans pride....most dogs not only poop, but turn it into art.  Sure, it is sad that the humans are so inferior to dogs, but that is the way it is, has always been, and it has always worked great for us dogs.  Watching the humans lives is like an all day sit-com for us.  Everything they do is hilarious, and they are so proud of themselves for the silliest things. 

Demon Flash Bandit (Thinks Humans are Silly)

Friday, January 25, 2013

Movie Review: Gangster Squad

Gangster Squad is a movie set in Los Angeles shortly after World War 2.  It stars Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling, and Josh Brolin.  A covert group of police officers were assigned to take down the mob boss of Los Angeles, Mickey Cohen.  This is the action packed story of that event.  I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail wag, and some kisses.  On the human movie scale, I give it an 8.  If you like gangster movies, you'll want to see this movie.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Demon Flash Bandit: Paw Model Extraordinaire

I have decided to EMBARK (it is such a great word, that I had to capitalize it) on a new career.  I am going to be a paw model.  I happen to have such lovely paws that I have been hired to model my paws for a major company.  I will start modelling my front paws, and later on, I'll use my back paws.  I am one of those lucky dogs that has 4 beautiful paws.  Of course, I had to negotiate some special terms for my modelling job.  The company wanted to have the photo shoot in New York City or Los Angeles, but I told them that the photo shoot would be in Alaska or I wouldn't do it.  Naturally, to get a paw model of my quality, the company gave in so I'll be in Anchorage for the shoot.  I don't know why more humans don't want to live in Alaska since the climate is so perfect, but the humans (at least the ones I live with) don't seem to appreciate winter as much as I do.  This is because they are stupid and tasteless.  Anyway, I'll be posting photos of my paws in future blogs.  I'm sure all my readers will be looking forward to seeing the photos.

Demon Flash Bandit (Paw Model)

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Protect Bo Obama, First Dog!

I love the delightful cold weather that our area is experiencing now, but the humans just keep complaining.  All you hear is, "it is too cold", and "when is it going to get warm again?".  I think they are going to jinx the lovely weather with their complaining so I hope they quit their whining and learn to enjoy the cold. 

I have a super important topic today about Bo Obama, first dog.  I found out today that Bo Obama is NOT protected by Secret Service because they only protect the humans.  We dogs know that Bo Obama is running the country because the humans are incapable of taking on so much responsibility yet Bo is not protected.  That makes no sense whatsoever to this dog.  I hope all the citizens of the United States reading this blog will write or call their representatives to let them know that the first pets should be protected by the Secret Service.  I can guarantee you that the pets are often more popular than the President.  The pets tend to be liked by both parties, and the independents so it is about time they are treated with the respect the pets deserve, and Bo Obama deserves Secret Service protection.  If you want to read more about this situation, here is the link:

Demon Flash Bandit (Thinks First Dog Should be Protected)

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Travel With the Humans

Today's blog is a public service message for my doggy pals reading this.  From time to time, some of the humans think that they need to go on vacation.  Fortunately for me, my humans take me with them; but there are some humans who think it is okay to put a dog in doggy jail (which they refer to as a "kennel"), while they leave the area and have a good time.  How they can have a good time without their dog or dogs is beyond me.  Most of them don't have the sense to have a good time on their own.  This is the purpose for my blog today--to let other dogs know how to deal with this situation. 

When the humans go on vacations, they take suitcases with them because the humans are always taking baths or showers and changing clothes.  Yeah, we dogs think it is a big waste of time and water, but again, you are dealing with humans and they will never have the genius of the average dog.  Even the human "geniuses" often use that "genius" to build bombs and other things that hurt and kill other humans and pets.  If you ask me, if a person is truly a genius, he or she should be making the world a better place--not a worse place.  But I digest (okay--it is really digress, but I prefer to digest because that involves food in my tummy).  I need to get back to my original topic which is, how to go with the humans without them knowing about it.  You wait until they pack their suitcases (and make sure they buy one that will fit you, the dog, comfortably and that is not air tight because you need to breathe.  Once the suitcase is packed, toss the clothing and stuff in the garbage, and put in some prepared food and water, and then climb in yourself.  You can even leave a couple of clothing items to lay on if you need some extra comfort.  Then nap until you get to the destination.  Most of us dog have no problem napping for several days so that travelling part is easy.  When the humans get to their destination, imagine their happiness when they open the suitcase and see that the family dog  is with them.  Sure, some of them may get a little upset that they have no change of clothing, but who cares?  As I said earlier, the humans bathe too much and change clothes way too often, and it is a vacation so they are supposed to be having a good  time.  Ask most dogs, and few of them will tell you that having a bath is having a good time.  Most of us hates baths!  Therefore, we are also showing the humans how to enjoy life--and the humans need that.  Most of them spend way too much time at some stupid place called work.

Demon Flash Bandit (How To Go On Vacation With the Humans)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

I've Got a Dingo Bone to Chew Away My Sorrow

I can't believe the humans have already auctioned off the Batmobile despite my message to them to hold off until I have the money.   I'm sure that, at a mere $250,000. for my pawtograph,  the money  would have come pouring in to pay for the car.  I guess I'll have to wait for another cool car to buy as my Demonflashbanditmobile.  I suppose I'll have to chew my sorrow away with a dingo bone.  For those times when a regular rawhide bone won't do, that is when a dog needs a dingo bone!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (I Need a Dingo Bone)

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Demonflashbanditmobile Worth 5 Million Dollars

Some of the humans are estimating that the Batmobile will probably go for about 5 million dollars at auction.  I've written about this car in past blogs, and I'm sure my readers agree that this car would be perfect as my new, Demonflashbanditmobile.  The only problem is that my humans claim they don't have 5 million dollars to buy the car.  My human Mommy even said that, in her opinion, no car on Earth is worth 5 million dollars.  I'm sure you can understand my frustration with the lack of understanding from my humans.  A dog like myself, who is a world famous blogger, needs to have a cool car to drive.  I can't  just be seen driving the same kind of car as a regular dog who isn't famous.  That would look silly to my fans.  Therefore, I am making this offer in order to raise money to buy the "Demonflashbanditmobile".  For a mere $250,000., my readers can buy a pawtograph from my very own famous, blogging paw.  Act fast, because after I've done about 20 pawtographs, I will probably have to return the money without a pawtograph because, having to do all that work will require a lot of napping to recover.  You can send the money to:  Demon Flash Bandit.  That should be enough of an address since I'm sure the post office knows where to find me.  I'll also send a photo of me cruising around in the Demonflashbanditmobile to everyone who paid for a pawtograph.  I know that this has to be the bargain of the century since it isn't everyday that I am willing to give out pawtographs.  Hurry and get yours before I need to take a nap!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Needs Batmobile to Make it Demonflashbanditmobile)

Friday, January 18, 2013

Dr. Demon Flash Bandit

Most of my readers know that I happen to be a multi-talented dog so today I am going to discuss another one of my accomplishments.  I am known as Dr. Demon around here because I am always checking on any health problems my humans may have.  I don't think illnesses should be put into the hands of human doctors because they are humans, and as such, are incapable of the intelligence required to be a doctor.  Yet most of the humans go to human doctors instead of dog doctors.  They even take their pets to human doctors which is scary because those doctors don't even speak the pet's language, and most pets can't speak human like I can.  Therefore, I think that the new Obamacare should take this into consideration, and appoint someone to make sure that the humans get qualified dog doctors for their illnesses.  Humans are capable of being nurses so the nurses don't need to be replaced by dogs--just the doctors.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dr. Demon Flash Bandit MD)

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Movie Review: The Impossible

Imagine being in a tropical paradise on Christmas vacation with your family, and just when you are enjoying life on the beach, a tsunami hits and puts a damper on your vacation fun.  This is exactly what happened to the family in this movie, which was based on a true story.  The family (which consisted of Maria played by Namoi Watts and Henry played by Ewan McGregor and their 3 children) were on Christmas holiday in Thailand when the tsunami hit the coast causing much mayhem.  This is one reason that this dog does not care for tropical climates.  I do not want to get hit on the head by a falling palm tree.  I prefer someplace cold and covered with snow, but that might have something to do with the fact that I'm a sled dog.  I don't care much for hot temperatures.  In fact, I still haven't forgiven the state of Florida for having white sand beaches that a Siberian husky would mistake for snow, and then, when a dog is expecting to feel nice, cold snow on his paws, he feels hot sand instead.  I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I was, and how fed up I was with the whole "tropical climate".  If I were arranging the vacation, I would have taken the humans to Alaska, where you don't have silly palm trees falling on a dog's head! 

I will get back to the movie review now.  When the tsumani hit, most of the family got separated from each other, and they didn't know if the others were alive or dead or badly injured.  The movie was good,  but it wasn't exactly enjoyable watching so many people get hurt and/or die.  I found it very depressing, but if a dog likes to watch real life disasters, then this is a great movie for that dog to watch.  I give it 2 paws up and a tail wag, which is about a 6 out of 10 on the human movie scale.  It would get a better rating from me, but this dog does not really enjoy watching the humans get hurt, and I get tired of having to cover my eyes throughout the movie so as not to see the blood and injuries.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Cat Food Disguised as Treats

After some research, I have uncovered a new conspiracy, and this one is close to home.  I think Angel Zoom Smokey, a fellow Siberian Husky wants to get my treats.  I know some of my readers might think that I am just being paronoid, but the fact is that I have caught her eating my treats when I'm not there to protect them.  When questioned, she will claim they are her treats, but I know they are mine.  I put my name on them just to make sure that I'm not mistaken.  This is one reason that it is so important for dogs to be educated because an illiterate dog is more easily taken adventage of in situations.  I think I have the solution.  I will take some cat food and cleverly disguise it to look like my treats.  Then when Angel Zoom Smokey eats it, she will be eating cat food.  I've never had cat food, but I'm sure it would be a major insult to a dog to have to eat cat food since it is for cats, and cats can be so annoying to many dogs.  I've got to go now, and put cat food on Mommy's shopping list.  I'm so lucky that she is a human, and will have no idea that I put the cat food on the list.

Demon Flash Bandit (Clever Dog)

Monday, January 14, 2013

No Pants Day-2013

The humans just celebrated the 12th annual world-wide "No Pants Subway Ride-2013".  Since there are no subways to ride in my area, I missed the event entirely.  Before you start feeling sorry for me, I am happy I missed the event.  Seeing a bunch of humans without pants might be more than I can bare at this point in my life.  I recently experienced seeing an entire colony of ants, and not one ant was wearing pants.  I had no idea that the ants were visiting a nudist colony.  That sight was enough to make a dog sick for weeks.  This dog thinks that both humans and ants should be required to wear pants at all times.  It is the least they can do for us dogs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Fan of No Pants Day)

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Belly Buttons Pawned

I know that the economy has been bad for a lot of humans during the last decade, but I never thought it would get so bad that a family of humans would be unable to afford their belly buttons.  You don't hear of it very often, but things got so bad for the Smith family (made up name to protect their identity), that every member of the family pawned their belly buttons.  I can only imagine just how hard it must have been for the family members to have to give up their belly buttons.  As you can imagine, their belly buttons were grabbed up quickly by a rich person with a belly button collection.  I think it is sad when a rich person can buy up belly buttons just to brag about how many he has in his collection.  I hope that no other families have to go through the humiliation of having to sell their belly buttons.  However, I know that is only a dream.  As long as the humans think and act the way they do now, there will continue to be humans selling their belly buttons for money to eat, and other humans buying them to brag about owning them.  Stupid humans!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Disapproves of Hoarding Belly Buttons)

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Dogs Should be in Charge of Gun Control

Because of the recent shootings at the school in Connecticut where so many young children were killed recently, many of the humans think that perhaps too many people who shouldn't have guns have them.  As usual, the humans should consult a dog for the answers to the important things like this.  I have the solution and it is as simple as the fur on my paw.  Before getting guns, the humans should have to pass both an intelligence test and also have no incidents of problems with mental health.  Most gun owners are okay, and won't hurt anyone with their guns.  However, when you are dealing with stupid or insane humans, those are the humans who shouldn't have guns.  For some odd reason, many of the humans who are sane and not stupid also seem to think that the time to get their guns out is when they are drunk--another bad combination.  Of course, the forest animals do find it amusing when the humans hunters end up shooting at each other instead of at them.  When a human gets so drunk that they can't tell another human from a deer, I think it is time to put the guns down.  My fellow dogs who are hunting and/or sporting dogs are concerned about this matter because they don't want to be shot because the human thought they were a deer or duck.  In fact, if they would put dogs in charge of the guns, there would be a lot less problems since we dogs are infinitely more intelligent than the humans.  I might add that one of my pals, a deer who wants to remain nameless, is so proud of the human head he has on display in his den--it is his prize possession.  That deer has no problem with the humans being drunk when hunting.

Demon Flash Bandit (My Thoughts on "Gun Control")

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Farmer Demon Flash Bandit

Since the humans won't allow a dog to drive a car, I have decided that I should become a farmer so that I can drive a tractor.  I think it would be fun for a dog to sit up on the tractor and drive it around.  I probably wouldn't bother with using it for plowing and stuff because that wouldn't be fun.  However, just driving it around the farm would be a lot of fun.  On the other paw, maybe plowing and planting a garden might not be a bad idea.  I could plant a small area with lettuce and carrots for my rabbit pals.  Then I could plant the rest in meat for us dogs.  I wonder how long it takes a hamburger plant to mature.  I think the waiting would be the hard part, but I could always drive the tractor around the place while I wait on my hamburger to grow.  I think I would wait until they were double pounder burgers.  Why pick a burger when it is only 1/4 pound?  I have to go now and do some research on tractors.  I think I might get one of those John Deere tractors.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Farmer?)

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Human Brains Leave Zombies Hungry

After watching the television show, The Walking Dead, which is about zombies, this dog is beginning to worry.  As most people know, zombies walk around eating the living because they are hungry, but they mainly eat brains.  This is what made me worry--I got to thinking that the reason they are probably always hungry is that, with the tiny pea size brains that the humans posess, the zombies must never get full.  This explains why the zombies are always in search of food--they just never get enough brains from the humans they eat.  This brings me to my point.  If a zombie happens to eat a dog's brain, then would the zombies  start leaving the humans alone and come after dogs for our brains?  This is the kind of thing that causes me to have nightmares because I don't want to be a zombie's dinner.  It is hard enough to distinguish regular humans from zombie humans particularly when the humans are at work.  When at work, most of them act like zombies, but I suspect that is largely because most of them don't enjoy their jobs.  However, someone has to do the work--we dogs have no plans to do our share.  We have bones to chew and naps to take!  Anyway, I hope if the zombies ever find out how big our dog brains are, that we will find some way to tell the regular humans from the zombie humans. 

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Doesn't Like Zombies)

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Ancient Astronauts Were Dogs

I've been watching some documentaries on television that deal with the idea that ancient astronauts visited Earth, and they are the reason for so many of the things in the ancient world--like the pyramids.  Personally, I think it is the only explanation for the ancient achievements, and I'm going to explain why for the humans who might be reading this (or have their dogs reading it to them).  We dogs have the vast intellect to build things like that, and the humans are too stupid to accomplish such wonders.    Therefore, the ancient astronauts were dogs from another planet.  We decided to stay here and help the humans because our ancient ancestors realized that the humans would never survive without our help.  Let's face it-they were cave men running from dinosaurs when  we came here, and the dinosaurs were winning.  For example, there was Ork, the caveman who decided to invent the wheel, but he kept making it square.  Any dog can tell you that a square wheel just won't work, but Ork spent 30 years of his life working on it before he decided to change its shape, and he changed it to a rectangle.  Is it any wonder, dogs' ancient ancestors felt sorry for the humans on this planet and decided to remain?  Besides, watching Ork trying to make a square wheel work for 30 years was amusing to ancestral dogs.  In addition, the humans did have one talent that ancient dogs loved--they could give good tummy rubs!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Ancient Dog Astronauts)

Monday, January 7, 2013

I'm the Demon Flash BANDIT from Smokey and the Bandit

Today I am going to discuss a truly great movie, and that movie is Smokey and the Bandit.   This movie was made in the 70's and it is still a classic motion picture.  The "Bandit" played by Burt Reynolds has been hired to transport Coors beer across state lines in areas where, at that time, it was not legally sold.  This is bootlegging, and it is a crime so the Bandit was supposed to watch out for the police while his friend, the "Snowman" (isn't that a great name?), drove the semi-truck with the beer.  If police were around, Bandit, in his Trans Am, was supposed to lure them away from the semi to keep the truck from being pulled over and the beer found by the authorities.  Along the way, he picks up a hitchhiker who happens to be running from her wedding, and she was marrying the sheriff's son so he was in "hot pursuit" behind the Trans Am throughout the movie.  I can't count the amount of police cars that were wrecked before the movie was over.  If you want  to know why this movie is truly one of the best, I will give you my obvious answer...if you look at my name, Demon Flash BANDIT, it is the same as the Bandit's name in the movie.  Angel Zoom SMOKEY is the same as the policeman, and our stunt dog, Phantom Fast  SNOWMAN, is named for the truck driver in that movie.  I'm sure my readers will understand that any movie that has ties to my 2 fellow Siberian Huskies and myself has to be the greatest movie of all time.  I'm sure most of you have seen it, but you should watch it again.  I know that Burt Reynolds cannot even begin to compare to me, Demon Flash BANDIT, but he tries, and it is always nice to watch the humans when they try so hard to be like us dogs.

Demon Flash Bandit (The BANDIT)

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Movie Review: This is 40

"This is 40" is semi-sequel to the movie Knocked Up.  It stars Paul Rudd as Pete and Leslie Mann as Debbie-two characters that were introduced in the movie Knocked Up.  It would have been nice if the main characters of Knocked Up were at least in it for a cameo, but the movie was really about what it is like to turn 40, and those characters were younger.  I suspect that birthdays probably aren't as traumatic for a lot of other people, but the people who go on as usual don't tend to make for good cinema.  As a dog who is not a puppy anymore, I can understand that it is nice to be young, but there is something to be said for growing old since everyone does not get that opportunity.  This movie is rated R so I don't necessarily recommend it for viewing by young children.  It is an enjoyable way to spend some time, and the movie does have some funny moments.  I give it 4 paws up which, on the human movie scale is a 6 out of 10.  If you liked the movie, Knocked Up, you will probably like this movie.  If you hated Knocked Up, save your money and don't go to see This is 40 because you probably won't like it either.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Boat Made of Pasta is Bad Investment

Now I know why the stores that sell things to humans don't want them accompanied by their dogs.  My Mommy (who happens to be a human--I think she adopted me) came home from the store yesterday and she had bought a pasta boat.  Only the humans would be dumb enough to buy a boat made from pasta.  Any dog could tell them that a boat needs to be made of more substantial material than pasta.  Evidently, you can sell the humans almost anything.  I might add that the boat is so small that I don't see how the humans are going to ride in it.  I won't even fit inside that tiny boat.  I'm not even sure if a chihuahua will fit.  I'm sure Mommy is pleased with herself getting a boat at such a good price, but sometimes you get what you pay for.  In this situation,  I think when she puts that boat in the water,  she is going to get very wet particularly since she will be lucky to fit one foot in it, and I think she is going to look super silly standing on the water with one foot.  This is why the humans who own stores don't want dogs in their stores.  They know we dogs are way too smart to buy a lot of this stuff, and they wouldn't make near as much money if they allowed us to shop with the humans.  However, judging from the pasta boat, my humans really need my guidance when shopping.  I'm sure all of them do.

Demon Flash Bandit (Smart Dog)

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Prepare for a Zombie Attack

For my readers who have not yet purchased a calendar, I have the perfect calendar that tells you the date and gives you information to help you survive a zombie attack. How many calendars can tell you the date, and also help you survive?  This makes this calendar the "must-have" calendar of the year.  I know I love the ones with the cute Siberian husky centerfolds on it, and they are gorgeous calendars, but that should just be an extra calendar you get to make a room look better.  Here is the link where you can order one for yourself, and they are even on sale ($3.99) at the moment so you can save money and survive a zombie attack too!

Be sure and get one for your family because I don't want to lose any of my readers to a zombie attack!

Demon Flash Bandit (Preparing for Zombie Attack)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Dog Poop Christmas Tree Ornament

I know it is too late for Christmas gifts and decorations, but I ran across one today that I have to share with my readers because it is just too wonderful to wait another year to share.  That item is a dog  poop ornament for the Christmas tree.  Yes, for only $10.98 plus shipping, you can have a pile of white, glistening dog poop hanging on the Christmas tree.  Imagine how envious your guests will be when they see the dog poop hanging from the tree.  Most of the humans don't have such an interesting item hanging on their tree so the person with the dog poop ornament will be the envy of all their friends.  I am going to share the link for this magnificent product:

Why not order several?  I can even envision a tree covered only in dog poop, and the family dog being happy with having humans with such good taste!

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Christmas Tree Decorations)

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

Today is the first day of the new year, and this is the time that many of the humans make New Year's resolutions.  These resolutions are things  that they are supposed to do to make their lives better in the coming year.  Many of them resolve to eat healthier foods, exercise more, etc.  Since I'm a dog, I don't need to make any resolutions for my life.  We dogs happen to be about as perfect as one can possibly be, and I am one perfect dog so making resolutions would just be a waste of my valuable time.  However, I am going to make a few just to make the humans fell better about themselves.  The humans have enough problems without them feeling even more inferior to their dogs than usual.  My resolutions are to nap more, watch more television, and have more treats.  I am quite sure that I will be able to keep those resolutions throughout the year which is a problem with the humans.  Most of their resolutions are broken within a week.  If the humans made resolutions like mine, I think even the humans might be able to keep their resolutions even though they don't have the strong will of a Siberian husky.  For my readers who are trying to improve their lives, I hope it works out for you.  I know I will be a much happier dog if I can fulfill my own resolutions.

Demon Flash Bandit (New Year's Resolutions)