Sunday, September 30, 2012

Giant Gummy Bear-Perfect Gift for a Dog

As a service to my readers, I spend a considerable amount of time checking the Internet for products that this dog finds interesting, and today I am going to share one with my readers. How many times have you, like myself, ate a gummy bear and thought, that gummy bear could be bigger because I could eat lots and lots ot them. Finally, I have found a gummy bear that might be big enough for a dog to have a decent size snack. This gummy bear weighs 26 pounds, and for a mere $149.99 is a real bargain. I'm sure the humans would want a dog to have one as a treat. I plan to show it to my humans as soon as I get off the computer. Considering it has 32,000 calories, a dog probably does not need to eat anything else all day other than the gummy bear. It is available in 4 delicious flavors, and I'm sure any dog would be thrilled to have one as a gift. I am hoping to find one under the Christmas tree in December. What a great gift for a dog!!! Here is the link so you can order one for the special dog on your gift list: Demon Flash Bandit (Wants Giant Gummy Bear)

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Movie Review: Dredd

Today I am going to give my movie review of the movie Dredd which stars Karl Urban. This movie takes place in a city in the future (which probably explains why they cast Urban because Ben Rural's name did not fit the role). In this future city, the police not only do the work of policemen, but also dispense justice and even executions. Dredd is a good judge, and does his work conscientiously. Most of the humans are clustered in large buildings, and there are a lot of problems in those areas--just as in today's cities. There are gangs who want to take over, and one of these gangs have invented a new drug that severely alters consiousness. Dredd, along with a rookie who happens to be psychic go to one of these areas to deal with multiple homicides, and in doing so, end up being targeted by the gang. I did not expect this to be a good movie, but it was better than I thought it would be. Of course, there was a serious lack of dogs, and I doubt that a dog would want to be cast in the movie anyway since it is one of those action packed movies that we dogs don't tend to like as much. I give this movie 4 paws up and a tail wag which is about a 7 out of 10 on the human movie scale. If you like science fiction, action type movies, you will probably enjoy this movie so I would recommend it. However, it will never be up the the quality of a movie like Snow Dogs or Eight Below--movies starring Siberian Huskies like myself. However, when you star humans, you can't expect to get as good a movie! Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Friday, September 28, 2012

Send Me Gummy Bears

Today I am going to use my blog to post a public service announcement. Some of the humans are infusing gummy bears with alchoholic beverages. This has the potential to cause alchol poisoning in small children. Since it is virtually impossible to tell normal gummy bears from the potentially dangerous gummy bears, I think the best thing to do is to put all gummy bears you run across in a box and send them to me: Demon Flash Bandit Internet Blogger Howell, MI United States Since we dogs have a superior sense of smell, I'm sure that I will be able to make sure that they are okay. Just don't expect me to send them back. I'm very fond of gummy bears. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Loves Candy)

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Demon Flash Bandit: Concert : "Peeanist"

Today I have decided to discuss one of my hobbies with my readers, and that hobby is music. I am a member of the band, Howling Huskies, which is a very popular band in my area. I'm sure you can imagine just how popular a group of singing Siberian Huskies would be with the humans. However, the Howling Huskies play popular music, and sometimes a dog likes to play the Classical variety because we dogs are very elegant and refined. Therefore, when I play Calssical music, I do it alone and most often on the piano. As a Peeanist, I am a bit different than the humans of that title since I like to pee on the piano because that is something the humans have not yet learned to do. Sure, they probably think they can, but how many will actually do it in front of other humans? In fact, I can pee on a wide variety of musical instruments, and I am a true genius at it. You can only imagine how good it feels when I hear the applause from the humans when I pee on the piano. I guess some of them would rather see a dog pee on the piano than to actually hear classical music. Many dogs agree with them on that. I will be giving a concert next week. Contact me for further details. Demon Flash Bandit (Concert Peeanist)

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Yogi Bear Jr. Takes iPad

I thought it would be a good time to give everyone an update on Yogi Bear. Yogi's son, Yogi Bear Jr. was recently caught on video while vacationing at the San Bernadino National Forest. Here is the link to see the video: Yogi Jr., who obviously is a lot like his dad, is seen stealing an iPad from a picnicer. It is nice to see that Yogi and his family of bears have went high tech because I'm sure it is much easier to order food from the Internet than to have to keep going to the trouble of getting "donations" from park visitors. I bet Yogi would make a great blogger. His stories of his life at Jellystone Park have already entertained millions so I would think that his blog would be quite interesting. I know this dog would read it. I do have one suggestion for Yogi Jr. He should wear a tie like his dad. If you are going to sit around with an iPad, then a bear really needs to look classy, and Yogi always looked so classy with his tie. I wonder if Boo Boo has a son named Boo Boo Jr. who hangs out with Yogi Jr. That would be so cool if there is a Boo Boo Jr. I'd love to meet both of them. Demon Flash Bandit (Writing About Yogi Jr.)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Dogs Understand Human Language

I am going to start this blog by sharing a bit of information about dogs and language. Here is the link: This link shows that dogs can learn human words and can understand human language. This proves a point I have been making since I was a puppy. We dogs are smarter than the humans and this proves it. We dogs bark and the humans do not understand our dog language yet we understand their language. As a dog linquist, I speak many different species. I learned to speak bird which is why I know they are evil. I can hear them making their plans to take over the world. I can speak cat, squirrel chipmunk, and even skunk although I don't like to get close enough to chat with them since they are in serious need an anti-perspirant. They smell really bad. In fact, we understand more of the human language than we let on because, if the humans knew that we understand everything they say, then they would think we could do more work, and any species with any brains whatsoever knows that work is not fun. I've got to go now. I've been listening to the humans and they are hilarious--as usual. If only the humans were as smart as us dogs, the world would be a better place! Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Linquist)

Monday, September 24, 2012

Drought Problem Solved!

I'm sure many of my readers are aware that there is a major drought effecting some parts of the United States. This is causing problems for farmers, and threatens to make the prices of food rise. I know the humans probably won't find a solution to this problem so it is time for me, a dog, to find the answer. That answer is to enlist the aid of dogs. Yes, every county has a shelter for homeless dogs, and those dogs could be the answer to the problem of watering the crops. I have personally been responsible for watering many trees and various plants over the years, and all have done well thanks to my kind attention. This is where the shelters come in--they get a bus and bring over all the dogs, and let them "water" the crops. The dogs will enjoy it since it is always more fun to pee on trees and plants than to just pee on the ground. While there, if there are any holes that need digging or any plowing to be done, they can discuss that with the dogs too since we dogs are excellent at digging holes. Unlike the machines that digs holes and plow, we don't require expensive gasoline to get us to do the work. Some regular food will work just fine for us--although we do prefer human food to the dog variety. Now that I have solved yet another problem for the humans, it is time for me to take a nap. Until tomorrow! Demon Flash Bandit (Solving the Drought Problem)

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Constitution Grants Free Speech--Not Free Meows

Everyone knows that dogs are better than cats. It isn't that I have anything against cats, but dogs are better--that is just a fact. However, it is a fact that cats just can't seem to accept. Therefore, some cats got together and posted a video on the Internet trying to claim that they are superior to dogs. Here is the link: As usual, cats are trying to deceive the humans because they know that humans are easy to fool. There are no "cat scientists". I can give simple proof to that fact. How many cats do you see running around wearing a lab coat? I have never seen a cat in a lab coat in my life. Besides, that is just part of the pre-requisite for being a scientist. There are many things that a scientist has to do in order to become a scientist, but wearing a lab coat is one of the first courses a scientist have to take at scientist school. Another obvious fact is that if there were a cat scientist, there would have to be at least one who is a "mad scientist" since cats don't tend to have the average dog's friendly personality. I'll admit that there are some naturally bald cats that do have some resemblance to Lex Luthor, but that does not mean that they are criminal masterminds with the brains to become a scientist. Sure, one of them might have been willing to help Dr. Evil in the Austin Power movie series, but he was hardly a mastermind. He just mainly had Dr. Evil carry him around. I, along with a group of dogs, are trying to have this video removed from the Internet, but the cats are claiming free speech. However, I don't the the United States constitution says anything about free meows so I think we dogs are going to win. Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs are Superior to Cats)

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Bronx Zoo Cats Get Special Treat-- A Human

There was some excitement in the tiger area of the Bronx Zoo in New York City yesterday. One of the humans riding the monorail that allows zoo visitors to view the tigers decided to jump into the area with the tigers. The human is alive, and missing a foot. Any dog could have told him that jumping in with big cats is not a good idea. The little domestic house cats are annoying so the big ones are super annoying! I managed to use my credentials as a journalist to go to the Bronx Zoo and get an interview with one of the tigers that witnessed the event. I am going to use an assumed name so that "Tony" won't be incriminated for eating a human foot. You know how the humans can be, but this dog does not think the tigers did anything wrong since the human wasn't supposed to be there. Any human who does not understand that big cats are dangerous should not be allowed to visit a zoo. Before I start the interview: here is the link for the news item: Tony: The zoo is Grrr..reat. I had to say that since you gave me the name of the cereal tiger, Tony. Demon Flash Bandit: Yeah, that is why I chose that alias. Now I would like to ask...since you were there...what were you thinking when the human fell into your home? Tony: My first thought was that the human had fallen out of an airplane, but I didn't observe any aircraft passing over at that particular moment. Demon Flash Bandit: So it was a complete surprise when the human fell into your home? Tony: Yes of course. I was just sitting there watching television, and then a human is sitting in front of my television set blocking my view which made me mad. Demon Flash Bandit: What did you do: Tony: I had just been thinking of going to the kitchen to get some snacks, and I thought I must be the world's luckiest cat because I had a snack falling into my home. I didn't even have to get up and prepare a snack for myself. Demon Flash Bandit: Did the human taste good? Tony: The human tasted okay, but he was a bit tough. I prefer the taste of a good barbequed bird. Demon Flash Bandit: Whou could blame you...all us dogs like to eat birds too. I wish you well, Tony, and I hope you continue to get lots of tasty treats. Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Journalist)

Friday, September 21, 2012

Movie Review: Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva La Fiesta!

Today's blog is a movie review of the new direct to dvd video of the movie Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3: Viva La Fiesta! This is the second sequel to Beverly Hills Chihuahua. In this movie Papi and Chloe and their 5 puppies move into a fashionable, expensive hotel in Beverly Hills along with their humans. Chloe is hired to be the socialite canine that will bring other socialites to the hotel. While she is busy modeling and being the hotel's spokesdog and the puppies are in school, Papi finds there are things going on at the hotel that could cause problems for the business. Meanwhile, Rosa is feeling like she isn't important because she is the runt of the puppies. There are plenty of dogs in this film---Siberian huskies, a Pit Bull, a Saint Bernard, the police dog from the Beverly Hills 2 movie, and some cool doggie bands. I loved this movie, and if you like dogs, I think you will enjoy it too! It is a fun movie to watch! I give it 4 paws up--okay 8 paws up (I'm borrowing Angel Zoom Smokey's paws), a tail wag, 2 ears up, kisses, Husky hugs, and a chorus of howls from my band, Howling Huskies. The only problem I had with this movie was the credits. The dogs were the stars of this film--not humans. The dogs were not given the proper credit at the end of the film which makes this dog angry. The humans are always taking credit for their dog's intelligence and talent! I do hope that one of the dogs will follow Uggie and get an Oscar for this movie. I highly recommend this movie!!! On the human movie scale, I give it a 10 out of 10. Yes, it is that good! Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Critic)

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Lucky Buffalo!

For those people who like super sized pets, I think this family has made a good choice. This couple in Canada have a pet buffalo. The buffalo even rides with them in a specially modified car made especially for the buffalo. If you ask me, that is one lucky buffalo because most buffalos don't get treated as pets. I am going share the video, and I might add that there is also a dog in the car. No matter how unusual a human's pet may be, they still need a dog to watch out for them. I don't know how the humans survive without a dog! Here is the video link: It is a very cool video, and I hope you enjoy it. Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Buffalo as Pet)

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Grand Theft Auto Video Game Based on Lindsay Lohan's Driving Skills?

Lindsay Lohan has been arrested again. This time she hit a pedestrian in New York City with her car and left to go inside to her hotel room. Why doesn't she hire a chaffeur? If there was any actress in Hollywood that should not be allowed to drive herself around, it is Lindsay Lohan. Doesn't she have a dog to hire a chaffeur for her? I know if I was her dog, I would not want to get into the car and ride with her because I value my life. With her driving, you never know where you will end up---perhaps over a cliff like Toonses the Cat from Saturday Night Live. Toonses used to go over the cliff every time he drove because cats should not be allowed to drive. Most dogs are great drivers, but cats just aren't responsible enough to be trusted. I think it is because they have 9 lives and tend to be big on taking risks as a result. I have been told by reliable sources that the video game, Grand Theft Auto, was based on Lindsay Lohan's driving skills. I wonder if she gets any royalties when that game is sold. I just saw recently that she and Charlie Sheen are going to do a love scene together in an upcoming movie. I can't wait to see how that turns out. I just hope it does not involve a car because, if it does and Lindsay is driving, Charlie may not make it through the scene.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

National Cheeseburger Day

Today is National Cheeseburger Day! For those of you who are wondering how I celebrated the day, I celebrated it by eating 3 double cheesburgers from McDonalds. They were delicious, and I think tomorrow should be National Steak Day so that a dog can have a steak. It is always important to celebrate food days by having the food that is being celebrated, and this dog feels it necessary to do what is expected of a dog. This is why I eat the foods on their days. I wonder--when is it going to be bacon day! I love bacon!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Celebrating National Cheeseburger Day)

Monday, September 17, 2012

Rats Are For Cats

A market in London is selling rat meat to the humans. The problem with this market is that this market was not meant for humans--it is a market for cats. Cats love rat meat, and as usual, whenever a store is opened up that caters to dogs or cats, the humans want to start buying our treats. Ask a cat--any of them will tell you that rat meat is delicious, but it was not meant for humans. Some things are meant for us pets, and that is why I am very annoyed at the humans for buying the cat's treats. Is there no end to the humans wanting all our stuff? Just yesterday, I found an entire box of chocolate covered peanuts called Goobers and I took it to one of my favorite spots, and just as I was about to enjoy my find, the humans came along and took it from me, and told me that I couldn't have it. Is that fair? I think not!!! I know that Goobers are a lot better than rat meat, but cats aren't as smart as us dogs nor do they have our good taste. Just ask any dog--they will tell you that cats are okay, but they are inferior to us dogs. Here is the link to the rat market:

Demon Flash Bandit (Rats are for Cats)

Sunday, September 16, 2012

I Like to Keep My Fur On!

I have received another letter from my pal, the Queen Lady (Queen Elizabeth II) asking for my advice on the latest scandal involving the publishing of photos of Kate topless. For those don't know what topless means, that means that she doesn't have any shirt on--not that she is bald. I know the word can be confusing which is why my readers can always turn to a dog to explain it to them. Personally, I don't care anything about the photos, but a lot of the humans will want to see them. My advice for the royal family in the future is "don't sunbathe topless" if you don't want photos to be published. You would think that after all these years in the public eye, that the royals would know that by now that photographers love to take photos like that of celebrities. Sure, it is a shame that they can't have privacy, but it is part of the price of being a celebrity. This is why this dog does not sunbathe topless. The photographers would love to get my photo since I am such a celebrity dog blogger. However, I have enough sense to keep my fur on. I hope the royals take my advice because it seems like it is becoming an everyday thing for photos of them naked to be published, and I am getting tired of hearing about it. I hope the Queen Lady can get her grandchildren to learn to wear their clothes. At least there aren't any naked scandals involving the royal dogs. This is because we dogs are smart enough to keep our fur on!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Fur)

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Humans: Always Entertaining Us Dogs

Authorities in Prince George county, Maryland have installed speed cameras to help monitor the speeding situation in the area. However, the humans, who tend to like to go above the speed limit do not like the speed cameras and have started attacking the cameras. This has led the county to add security cameras to watch the speed cameras. I wonder when they will install security cameras to watch the security cameras. The human are a constant source of entertainment for us dogs. You never know what they will do next. I never thought that you would need to install cameras to protect cameras, but when the humans are involved, you never know what will happen. This still makes me wonder why humans are runnning the world. I might add, for those living in the United States, let's put a stop to that by voting for me, Demon Flash Bandit for President!

Demon Flash Bandit (Watching Humans Do Silly Things Is Entertaining)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Super Sized Coffee Pots

I personally don't like to drink coffee, and neither do my humans. However, most of the humans in the United States love coffee. Some of them have to have it first thing in the morning or they can't function. For those people, just a cup of coffee often is not enough. Yet we know that most coffee pots don't make a great deal of coffee so I have searched the Internet for some coffee pots that will brew up enough coffee for even the people who have trouble brewing enough coffee. Here is the link:
I think that these large sized coffee pots would make enough coffee to make even the biggest coffee addict happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Coffee Pots)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Oktoberfest at Red Robin

Since I am a dog, I always enjoy sharing the latest "food" news with my readers. Today I am able to report that the Red Robin restaurants will be offering a beer milkshake for Oktoberfest. The tradition of Oktoberfest started in Bavaria (Germany) many years ago. There is some official history that Oktoberfest celebrated the wedding of Crown Prince Ludwig who married Therese of Saxe-Hildburghausen on Oct. 12, 1810. Of course, you came to my blog to find the real truth. It is actually the the "birthday" of the invention of beer. I don't personally like beer, and my humans aren't fond of it, but many of the humans like it. Some of them probably like it a bit too much so it is only natural that the humans would want to celebrate its "birth" by drinking a lot of it. Even a restaurant chain like Red Robin is getting in on the celebration. I don't think this dog would order the beer, but Red Robin's Oktoberfest burger is something in which I could sink my teeth. It is beef on a toasted pretzel bun, and topped with black forest ham. Yes, that is something a dog would enjoy and a vanilla milkshake would go great with it. I do love milkshakes, but I don't think I would like them flavored with beer.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Oktoberfest)

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Proud to be a Dog!

Today I want to share a video with my readers about the rescue dogs who helped when the World Trade Center was attacked. These heroic dogs don't often get the praise they deserve. We dogs can be very helpful to the humans largely because we love the humans. This video is made by the AKC (American Kennel Club), a group of which I am registered. I am very proud of my fellow dogs who do so much to help the humans. I would also like to add that there are many dogs everyday who are heroes to their humans--service dogs who assist the disabled, rescue dogs, drug sniffing dogs, and of course, the dog like myself who keeps my humans happy and gives them love. On the anniversary of the attack, I want to give thanks for all the wonderful dogs who enrich everyone's lives. Here is the link:

Demon Flash Bandit (Proud to be a Dog)

Monday, September 10, 2012

Frisbees: Great Toys!

As a dog, I happen to enjoy frisbees. We dogs love to play with frisbees. We chase them and sometimes we even bring them back to the humans who threw them, but not always. I have to admit that I have enjoyed chewing up a few frisbees in my life. When I am playing with these fun toys, I don't think too much about them, but I discovered that there is a story of how they came to be on the Internet, and I am going to share it with my readers. Frisbees actually started because of a pie company. Their customers started throwing their pans, and the pans were very aerodynamic (human word--too much like a bird word for me to know what it means). Those pie pans inspired the modern frisbee. In fact, I would love to have a frisbee contain a pie which I could eat, and then play with the pan. If it were a meat pie, that would be great because I love meat! This reminds me of a game my Daddy used to play with my 3 brothers. (I wasn't around then, but they told me all about it.) When they would eat hamburgers at White Castle (the burgers come in paper "boxes"), they would throw the boxes at each other when they were done. No one ever got hurt since the boxes were only paper, but they had a great time. Evidently, the only one who did not think it was a cool game was Mommy. She actually accused Daddy of being immature, and he was older than her. Maybe my brothers will play that game with Angel Zoom Smokey and myself one day. I think a dog would LOVE that game! Here is the history of the frisbee:

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing History of Frisbees)

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Zombie Apocalypse

The United States Department of Homeland Security has warned citizens to be on the lookout for a zombie apocalypse. Sure, it may sound silly, but according to them, the preparation needed in order to get ready for a zombie apocalypse is the same preparation needed for other problems like hurricanes. My question is: why not just tell the humans to prepare for a possible weather emergency? It would make a lot more sense and would be taken a lot more seriously. This brings me to my own personal Demon Flash Bandit conspiracy theory. Considering that recently, in the news, a man was found chewing the face off another man in Florida and that event was supposedly caused by some kind of drug the hungry guy took. Does it not sound reasonable that perhaps there are zombies out there just waiting for chow down on everyone? I'm guessing other humans have taken the same drug. The government probably does not want to alarm everyone so they are preparing everyone for a zombie apocalypse because they know that eventually, the zombies will be attacking. Of course, they can't fool us dogs--we are too smart for them. If zombies do take over, I plan to teach them how to cook for a dog, and let them take care of me. We dogs are very resilient. For those who want to read more about the warning, here is the link:
Demon Flash Bandit (Zombie Apocalypse)

Friday, September 7, 2012

Bert and Ernie: True Friends

For those who grew up watching Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie are well known characters from that children's show. I am happy to report that the elapsed time has not changed the characters except for aging. They still look similar to the Bert and Ernie that were watched decades ago. They are also together which is a happy tribute to their friendship. Not all friends stay friends over the years. They move on with their separate lives and lose touch with each other. I know they are still together because Bert and Ernie were spotted attending the in Atlanta, Georgia recently. Here is the link so you can see their photo.
Isn't it nice that they are still together after all these years?

Demon Flash Bandit (Friendship)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Not Attending Flea Circus

I was recently invited to a flea circus-an invitation that got an immediate, no. Why would I want to see a flea circus when I hate fleas? I have yet to meet a dog who likes them. They are annoying creatures who annoy dogs and other species, including humans. They caused the bubonic plague many centuries ago, and I know they did it out of pure spite. Have you ever talked to a flea? I have, and they are truly obnoxious. They jump around thinking they are the most talented creatures in the universe because they can bite dogs and people. This is not something that I consider a talent. They are parasites and should be treated as such. Sure, you will meet one or two that are nice (for fleas anyway), but they can't be trusted. There is always one or two who are smarter than the rest and try not to act as obnoxious in an effort to have you let down your guard so they can snack on you. When you see a flea, kill it. It does not deserve to live so get rid of it. Be sure you don't attend any flea circuses. Those fleas are already full of themselves. If they think they are stars, they will be worse. No dog wants to deal with a super snobby flea!

Demon Flash Bandit (Not a Flea Fan)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Movie Review: Lawless

Today my blog is a movie review of Lawless. This movie was set in depression (the 1930's) Franklin county, Virginia. The Bondurant family were bootleggers, and they managed to make more than any of the other bootleggers. The big problem arrived when a deputy from the city decided to come to the mountains to get a share of the money. Local law enforcement had allowed the bootleggers to continue their businesses while taking a share, but when the city people wanted an additional share, the Boudurant brothers refused to give in. The movie stars Shia LaBeouf, Tom Hardy, and Jason Clarke. This movie was a good movie and I give it 4 paws up, a tail wag, and a dog biscuit which is an 8 out of 10 on the human movie scale. There could have been more dogs, but at least there was a dog on camera if only for a cameo. I'm guessing they didn't want to pay the kind of money that a dog would command. I recommend this movie, and I recommend more dogs in movies in general.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Pez Dispenser for Dogs

As a dog who likes candy very much, I am very pleased to see that the Pez candy company did not forget us dogs. Yes, you can get a Pez candy dispenser for dogs, and that makes Pez a great company in this dog's opinion. I think it is wonderful that a dog can get Pez candy dispensed at the touch of a paw. I think it is candy, but if not candy, at least it is a dog treat that a dog will enjoy. (Personally, I would prefer candy!) The dispenser looks like a dog, and it is super cool in that is it bigger than the standard human size Pez dispenser. I am getting hungry just looking at it on the Internet. I guess the humans can eat the dog treats too so I would make sure they know it belongs to the dog. Here is the link so that you can order one for yourself. I'm sure they would make any dog happy.

Demon Flash Bandit (I Want a Dog Pez Dispenser)

Monday, September 3, 2012

Doggielove: The Movie

Over the weekend, a new movie, The Oogieloves, which set box office, records came out. The records were for the worst money making movie ever. I saw the trailer for this movie at one of the movies I recently attended, and I was amazed that it ever made it to the big screen at all. I had no interest in attending the movie nor did I have any interest in ever seeing the movie. However, if I were 3 years old, I might have really liked the movie. This is a movie that should have been released directly to video since most toddlers don't have the attention span to sit in a theatre and watch a movie. This annoys me since Hollywood can spend a lot of money to make movies geared at human puppies, but what about the dog demographics? We watch televsion and movies too, and the humans never make any dog oriented movies. Hotel for Dogs was a great movie and a step in the right direction, but I'm sure it was made with humans in mind. I would like to see a movie that is really for us dogs. Perhaps videos of trees, other dogs, and animals we could chase. If they could quit focusing on 3D, and make a smell-and--vision camera, it would truly be great for us dogs! The first movie should be called Doggielove since, for the most part, the humans love us! For those who want to read more about the Oogielove movie, here is the link:

Demon Flash Bandit (Hollywood Should Make Dog-Centric Movies)

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Bird Hit Dog--Perfect Job for Demon Flash Bandit

Imagine my interest when I saw that an airport in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, is willing to pay a lot of money for someone who can get rid of birds around the airport. Birds cause a lot of problems for airplanes so they think it is worth paying a "bird killer". As a Siberian Husky, I think Florida is a bit too hot, and they never have any snow, but I could keep the air conditioner going for such a perfect job for me. I like to think of myself as a "bird hit dog". I don't like birds, and I don't trust birds, and I think I could make sure the airport was bird free. I'd like to make the whole planet bird free so it is a job that I would be proud to do. It would also solve that problem of whenever I ask for something cool I see on the Internet that a dog would love to have, my human tells me that I have no money. Recently I wrote a blog about an animated zombie dog that was only $5,700. and I was planning to buy it and use it on Halloween to scare the trick or treaters away from my house. Every year those little deadbeats come by wanting a dog's candy. The humans, being stupid humans, give the children candy that could be eaten by the family dog if the humans had any sense at all. This is why it is great that I can get a job doing what I do best, and get enough money so that a dog can buy whatever he chooses to buy. Asking the humans for money isn't right--dogs should have their own stash of cash. To show that I am not just making this up, here is the link:

In the future, I expect that my blogs will be coming to you from Florida.

Demon Flash Bandit (Bird Hit Dog)

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Movie Review: The Expendables 2

Today my movie review is of The Expendibles 2. This movie stars Slyvester Stallone and a bunch of other older movie action heroes. The movie starts out with shooting. Throughout the movie, there are assorted shootings, knife fights, fist fights, and the occasional chat between characters. Of course, you don't really need to know that much about the characters because all that really needs to be shown to the movie viewer is action. I do like Slyvester Stallone, but this movie is nothing like the original Rocky movie. It is more like Rambo in Afghanistan. However, one interesting sidenote. Chuck Norris talks about how he bit a cobra and it dies. Just recently I read in the news about a cobra that died as a result of a bite from a human, and now I know who it was that bit the snake. It must have been Chuck Norris. That will teach a snake to bite an action star! I did not particularly like this movie from its beginning. I give it a tongue out and no paws up. This is about a 2 out of 10 on the human movie scale. I will state though that, if you are a big fan of action movies, and enjoy seeing fighting on the big screen, you will like this movie. Personally, I would have rather watched two hours of that stupid cat, Garfield.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)