Saturday, June 30, 2012

Were Founding Fathers Cartoon Characters?

I had to check out a new smell in Mommy's purse yesterday. It was one of my favorite of the human smells--that of money. Yeah, Mommy actually had some of the green paper United States currency in her wallet. I was looking through the bills and I realized something interesting about the "founding fathers" of the United States. They are all cartoon characters! I first noticed it on the $20.00 bill. It has Andrew Jackson, and I was amazed at how much he looks like that alien, Roger, from American Dad. The American Dad creators could have used Andrew Jackson as the model for Roger....put a wig on Roger and see if you don't think he looks like Andrew Jackson. This caused me to examine other bills to see if there was a pattern, and sure enough, there was. George Washington, on the $1.00 bill looks like the Tasmanian Devil. The $5.00 bill has Abraham Lincoln, and don't tell me that he does not bear a striking resemblance to Daffy Duck! The $10.00 bill is supposed to be Hamilton, but I think it is Foghorn Leghorn. The $100.00 bill has Porky Pig on it even though it is supposed to be Benjamin Franklin. The $50.00 bill which supposedly has Grant is actually Elmer Fudd. Perhaps it is a coincidence, but I suspect that there is more to this than the mint wants us to know. Either our "founding fathers" were cartoon characters or the cartoon characters were drawn to look like them. I do think that cartoon character founding fathers would explain why so many people elect stupid people into office. They have been trained to do so because they think the politicians should be cartoon characters! No wonder it is so hard for a dog to win an election....we are way too smart to be taken seriously!

Demon Flash Bandit (Political Observation)

Friday, June 29, 2012

Movie Review: Abraham Lincon: Vampire Hunter

Today I am going to give my movie review of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. This movie shows a side of Honest Abe that most of us have never seen--that of a vampire hunter. Sure, we know he was a lawyer and a President, but until this book and movie came out, how many of us knew about his secret and most important career as a vampire hunter? This is why the Civil War was so horrible. Vampires were fighting in the south, and they are a lot harder to kill than regular people. The tide turned at Gettysburg when Lincoln remembered what it takes to kill vampires and managed to get that product through to the troops. I think it is a safe bet that this book and screenplay was not written by a southerner. I'm wondering when the next movie: George Washington: Zombie Killer will be out in theatres. The movie was okay, but it got a little boring at can only kill so many vampires before it gets kind of redundant. I give this movie 2 paws up because it is not a great movie, but I've seen a lot worse. On the human movie rating system, it gets a 5 out of 10.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Prometheus Parody

I'm sorry I haven't written in a couple of days. When you have to depend on the humans to do your typing for you, it is only natural that they will, on occasion, not get things done. I guess if I want to make sure that the blog is written each and EVERY day, I will have to start typing it with my own 4 paws.

In my blog written on Friday, June 22,2012, I did a movie review of the movie Prometheus. I have found a parody which explains why so many of the scientists kept doing such stupid things. I just assumed it is because they were humans, but this video explains why they were taught to do such stupid things. Here is the link:

If you have already seen the movie, the parody will explain a lot, and if you haven't seen the movie yet, I think you will enjoy the parody anyway. I hope all my readers are having cooler weather than we are having around here. It is way too hot for my taste here today!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing Video Parody)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Movie Review: Breakfast in Dead

Movie Review: Breakfast in Dead

This is a movie that I have produced which I think will be one of the most exciting movies to come to the theatre since Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit. The movie is Breakfast in Dead. I will start by revealing the cast:

Officer Smoked Ham...................Jon Hamm
Officer Sliced Bacon................Kevin Bacon
Sgt. Laurence Tiberius ("Cookie Monster Washington)...................Cookie Monster
"Evil" Bird...................................Russell Crowe
"Burned" Fish & Chips.....................Laurence Fishburne
Vegan Bottom.........................Carrot Top
President T-Bone Steak.............Mr. T

This movie, starring Jon Hamm and Kevin Bacon shows two policemen on their pork related adventures. Here is the tagline from the movie poster:

In the future of 1989, 2 cops are teamed up to take down an evil bed and breakfast that is more than meets the eye. (It is a Transchanger--should be Transformer, but for legal reasons, it is Transchanger.) Now it is up to Hamm and Bacon to cap off evil bird at a time. (The bad guys are birds!)

I'm not sure who authorized the tagline because I did not approve it, but I think it was written by Stephenie Meyers, the author of the Twilight Saga. I would have written it a bit differently, but the posters are already printed, and this dog does not like to waste money that I could be spending on dingo bones instead. Watch for this movie at your local theatre!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Producer)

Monday, June 25, 2012

Movie Review: Gladiator

I have decided to do a movie review of a movie that is not recent, but it is a good movie none the less. That movie is Glad I Ate Her (or Gladiator). This movie is about a dog who met a chicken. The chicken was, as is true of most birds, highly annoying and also a villian. The dog tried to be nice, but sometimes you just can't get along with a chicken. The chicken kept strutting around the chicken coop saying things like "I'm a bird, deal with it dog", and also, "my feathers are cuter than your fur". However, the dog reached the limit of his endurance when the chicken threatened to tell the humans that the traditional Sunday dinner is not chicken, but dog. That was the last straw so the dog killed the chicken and ate her. Of course, this is how the movie got its title, "Glad I Ate Her". I give this movie 4 paws up, a tail way and some kisses. It was so good it won the Colonel Sanders Award of Excellence. The movie gets a 10 out of 10 on the human movie scale. If you haven't seen it yet, get it on blu-ray or dvd. You'll be glad you did, and I suggest you go out for dinner afterward...KFC would be a perfect choice!

Demon Flash Bandit (Glad I Ate Her--The Stupid Chicken)

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Car Color On Which Birds Prefer to Poop

Since it is summertime, I am going to write about a subject that is important to many of the humans--and that subject is clean cars. Yes, some of the humans go to a great deal of work and expense to keep their cars clean. This makes them feel good to drive around in a clean car. Do the cars stay clean and who is the major culprit in getting them dirty? This is an important question. I'm sure may of you are thinking, isn't it dirt and dust on the highway causing them to get dirty, Mr. Bandit? Sure, there is dust and occasional dirt that, when wet, becomes mud on the highway that does get a car dirty. However, you can wash a car and leave it sitting in your driveway and it can get dirty thanks to the work of my own personal enemy, the birds!!! Sure, you may not realize that birds are the enemy, but believe me, they are! In fact, some humans did a study to find out whether birds prefer to drop their bird bombs on certain color cars, and they do. They prefer to poop on red cars. I don't know about the rest of you, but I hate seeing bird poop on my car. Sometimes they even go beyond the car. The other day I found bird poop in the chair on the porch that I like to sit on.....they know I hate them, and they were after MY chair. You can sit around thinking birds are okay, but if you do, then you are part of the problem. Birds will continue their bombing missions until a concerted effort by humans, dogs, and cats cause them to stop. Remember, you can do something to stop birds from pooping. Dead birds drop no bombs! Dogs, get to can kill a bird and have a snack at the same time. Just ask cats-they've been doing it for years. For those who would like to read the bird poop on car color story, here is the link:
Thanks for reading, and remember, the birds you kill won't poop on your car!

Demon Flash Bandit (Car Color On Which Birds Prefer to Poop)

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Betrayed by my Own Tail

I have been staying awake for the past couple of days fussing at Angel Zoom Smokey. Why? Because some dog has to do it. Anyway, I do not appreciate the humans making fun of me. I was so tired from staying awake that I was walking through the room, and I felt my tail, and it freaked me out. I didn't realize it was my tail at first and I thought I was being attacked by some tail type space alien. I admit, when I realized it was my own tail, I did fell a little silly, but it can happen to any dog who is really, really tired. I'm just glad the humans didn't get it on video because I wouldn't want to see myself acting silly going viral on I have a reputation to uphold!

It is actually a bit cooler today so maybe that talk with Mother Nature did some good. Sometimes you have to walk softly and carry a large gun so that she knows you mean business. Until then, she was sending us August type heat, and we huskies do not appreciate August heat. We don't even like June type heat.

I want to send out a thank you to all my readers in Russia. It was a pleasant surprise to see so many readers from there, and I appreciate you taking the time to read. It isn't like I'm writing this in Russian so I know it is harder for you to read than for the people in the United States.

I will be back tomorrow...some dog time (okay maybe not exactly the same time)...same dog blog.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Blogger)

Friday, June 22, 2012

Movie Review: Prometheus

Today I am going to do a movie review of Prometheus, which is the reason I did not get to write a blog yesterday. I was busy going to the theatre. Before I get into the movie review, the film company ran this horror movie "short" that has a man and he turns into a bird. My regular readers who know my thoughts on birds, can imagine how scary that was for me. I almost got up and left the theatre, but I stayed because I know how much my readers depend on my movie reviews. Prometheus is the prequel to the movie, Alien, which came out many years ago. It is about a couple of historians and scientists who think that aliens came to Earth years ago, and left an invitation for the humans to come and see them. Personally, I think they were silly because if they had the advanced technology and they had helped to create the humans, you would think they would stop in and see what is going on with them, or maybe they aren't around anymore. Either way, this dog would not waste time and money going to see them. Of course, if the characters in the movie thought that way, there would be no movie so they didn't see it the way I do. Anyway, they made it to the destination, and you'll have to watch the movie to see what happens when they get there. I really don't care if this spoils the movie or not, but I do have to give out one spoiler alert. After all the money, time and trouble to get there, they found that the line in drive thru at McDonalds was even longer than the ones on Earth. All that way for a fast food meal and they still had to wait. This caused a lot of tension among the characters in the movie.

I give this movie a tail wag and a couple of paws up which is about a 6 out of 10 on the human movie scale. Considering that I hated the Alien movie, then that is actually a stellar rating from me. I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Reviewer)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Modern Art Masterpiece: Life is Ruff!

Yoko Ono's latest art masterpiece, "To the Light" has been drawing some crowds at the Serpentine Gallery in London, England. The art is made up of 3 piles of dirt. This dog has to report if you have not yet viewed her latest art, you won't be able to see it anymore. There was a bit of a mixup with the after hours cleaning staff who destroyed the artwork. Technically, the art could be put back on display if the maid would just empty their vacuum cleaner bags into 3 piles, but it would never have the same poignancy what with all the other possible things that might be in the vacuum cleaner from other places in the gallery. I felt bad for the gallery and for all the humans who won't be able to view this highly unusual piece of art so I made a new one for the gallery. I went outside and dug up some dirt. I made it into 3 piles and the top of each pile has a rock and a milkbone sticking out of the dirt. The milkbone symbolizes the good things in life and the rock shows that life can be "ruff". There was a dingo bone in each pile, but I got a bit hungry and ate the 3 dingo bones. I don't think they really added much to the project anyway. I call my art, "Life is Ruff so Grab Yourself a Bone". Be sure and see the latest Demon Flash Bandit work of art at the Serpentine Gallery in London. You'll be glad you did!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Artist)

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Television Program About Dogs!

I have something exciting to share with my readers is a new television program centered around dogs. It is about time someone made a dog-centric television show. It isn't as good as a program starring Demon Flash Bandit would be (I've heard he is one talented dog). However, it is far better than anything the humans can come up with. Don't get me wrong...the humans are easy to entertain. I think this can be proven by watching one of the reality shows for about 3 minutes. Humans can be entertained by looking at a flea sitting around doing a dog would sit and watch the flea show. In fact, I have even heard the humans talk about going to a flea market to buy stuff. I can guarantee you that there is nothing a flea can sell that a dog would buy! However, I am not discussing how stupid the human's shopping habits are--I'm discussing how easy it is to entertain them. They even have fishing shows. Fishing--the "sport" where you sit in a boat (or on shore) and be quiet. I fail to see how anyone would want to watch something that boring, but the humans tune in to get pointers on how to improve their "fishing". Personally, I know the best way to fish, and I bring home a big catch everytime. It is the seafood section of the supermarket. I even get to choose what kind of fish I want to eat. I have never had to invest money in fishing equipment and/or a boat. I don't know too many fishermen who can say that. The link to the wonderful new dog program is:
Be sure and watch the'll be glad you did!

Demon Flash Bandit (FisherDog)

Monday, June 18, 2012

Movie Review: The Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit

Today I am going to do a movie review of the movie, The Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit. This movie is, paws down, one of the best movies I have ever seen. In this movie, you get to see my tail in all its beauty and glory. You see it wag, you see it still, you see it held high. The movie is a 5 hour masterpiece which will make all other movies look bad by comparison. This movie stars Demon Flash Bandit, and is written by Demon Flash Bandit. The producer is Demon Flash Bandit and the stunt dog is Phantom Fast Snowman. The movie starts with me admiring my tail in the mirror. It is truly a stunning tail, and the movie goers who have seen it agree with my review. The New York News said, "this is the movie of all ages...a must see!. Sasster and Ebark give it 4 paws up and they said, "we never knew a tail could be so lovely. Gene Sassket said, "this is the movie I have waited to see for my entire life. I watched it and I wanted to watch it again...this is what the Los Angeles reviewer had to say about the movie: GREAT!!! King Frederic Tickleberry, the esteemed movie reviewer in London gave it 17 thumbs up. However, you are here on my blog to see what I have to say, and I give this movie 4 paws up, kisses, a 30 minute tail wag, a high 5 with all 4 paws, and more. I just can't say enough good things about this movie. Demon Flash Bandit, who is new to the big screen, does an fantastic job in this movie. I think he should win a Best Actor Oscar for his performance. I hope I will be seeing more of this young dog in the future. He is so handsome that he can keep audiences happy just looking at him. I think that, if the stuidos have any sense, they will be casting him in many, many more movies in the future. This movie gets a 25,000,000,000out of 10 on the human movie rating scale which means it is the best movie ever made. Be sure and see it when it comes to your local theatre.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: The Furriest Tail of Demon Flash Bandit)

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Let's Watch the Bacon Show!

Imagine my happiness when I found a video of a cool new machine that uses 3D technology to cut bacon into perfect strips. It isn't that I really care what shape my bacon is--it could be star shaped for all I care as long as it is bacon, I will eat it. However, the thing I like about the video is that I can watch a huge slab of bacon being cut into smaller pieces. Personally, I could skip slicing it and just go for the huge slab, but I do enjoy watching bacon. I'm surprised bacon has not been offered its own television show. I know all us dogs would tune in, and it has to be better than Jersey Shore or Teen Mom, or any of the other stupid reality shows that the networks are running. There are a couple that I enjoy (like Pawn Stars), but I have yet to see any interesting dog related items being brought in to sell. The things the humans think are valuable is beyond me....if I were running a pawn shop, I would be looking for dog toys and bones. I could care less about the art and other assorted garbage the humans bring in there. But I need to get back to the subject, and that subject is bacon, bacon, and more bacon. If I were a network executive, I would sign that slab of bacon up for its own show. Of course, if the network executives knew what they were doing, there would be a Demon Flash Bandit Show. Anyway, here is the link for those of you who want to watch the only bacon show on television at the moment.

Write the networks and tell them you want bacon to have its own show that you would most definitely watch. While you are writing, be sure and tell them to sign me up for my own show too. I might even let Angel Zoom Smokey make a guest appearance if she is good, and does what I tell her to do. By the way, my dogster diary today discusses a topic that is important to every dog whose human bathes them: a kid in Texas was given a forced bath, and his parents are suing the school system. My diary is on I have a page on there with my diary that I write about as often as I write this blog. I do think this diary is a must-read for dogs! I hope everyone is having a nice--bath free weekend!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Wants to Watch the Bacon Show)

Saturday, June 16, 2012

My Humans Aren't Rich or Famous

My humans are neither rich nor famous so I am not among the pets who live a luxurious lifestyle. I can't even get my humans to spring for the fish tank toilet I suggested in my blog of a couple of days ago. However, I do love my humans anyway. I do think that they could work a bit harder at becoming rich and famous so that I, Demon Flash Bandit, could live a more interesting lifestyle, but I have to remember--they are humans and I can't expect too much from them. It isn't like they are dogs! For those who would like to read about pets who have rich, and/or famous humans and have more fun than me, here is a link:

Of course, since one of my favorite hobbies is napping, I don't think it matters if my humans are rich and/or famous. Naptime is about the same no matter what your economic status.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Whose Humans Aren't Rich or Famous)

Friday, June 15, 2012

Cool Product for Cats!

I don't live with any cats, but I know a lot of dogs who do which is why I'm sharing some information about a cat product which I think would be very useful. That product is a cat spiral which the cat can climb up and sit above everyone. Since cats like to climb, I'm sure they enjoy the product. It serves the purpose of getting the cat up out of the dog's way. It isn't like us dogs want to have cats around. Besides, if you really don't like the cat, you could always get out a saw when the cat is up on top, and down goes kitty. Yeah, I know some dogs who would enjoy seeing that. I personally like cats, but I know some dogs who have no use for them. Another advantage is that if they are up in the air, and a bird happens to fly into the house, they can get the bird before said bird annoys a dog, and birds annoy this dog by their very existence. Here is the link to order the spiral cat climbing stairs. I think this is a cat must have!

Demon Flash Bandit (Sharing a Cat Product)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Movie Review: Snow White and the Huntsman

Today I am going to do a movie review of Snow White and the Huntsman. Obviously, this movie is based on the classic fairy tale, Snow White. In the movie, Snow White's mother died when she was very young. Then her dad married her evil stepmother, and the stepmother killed her dad, and took over the kingdom. She had magic powers and a mirror that always told her she was the "fairest in the land". Snow White was imprisoned in the castle. When she got older, and the mirror said she was fairer than the Queen, the Queen wanted to kill her. Fortunately for Snow White, she managed to escape. The Queen summoned the Huntsman and sent him to find Snow White. The Huntsman has to make the choice to help Snow White or do what the Queen ordered him to do. The movie did not leave out the dwarfs, but they were not named Sleepy, Doc, Sneezy, etc. I won't tell you how the movie turned out and spoil the ending, but I think Snow White would have been better off if she had dogs watching out for her. I always get nervous when humans are the ones you have to depend on....we dogs know how pathetic they are! There were a number of birds killed in this movie and I had to stand up and cheer. It isn't everyday that a dog gets to watch a bird killing movie! I give this movie 4 paws up and a tail wag which is a 7 out of 10 on the human movie scale. It is a very enjoyable movie, and I would recommend it to viewers who enjoy fairy tales.

Demon Flash Bandit (Movie Review: Snow White and the Huntsman)

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Give Me Bacon or Give me Bacon!

I have written many blogs talking about the virtues of bacon. I love it, and it is good to finally see that bacon is getting the respect it deserves among the humans. I am going to share 2 links in today's blog. The first is a song about bacon, and the link is:
The next link shows you how solve life's many problems by calling the bacon hotline:
I had no idea that rubbing bacon on any problem in life will solve it. This is why the Internet is so important, and I wonder how dogs lived without it for all those past years. When a dog developed a problem, how did he know to rub bacon on it? Sure, I guess a few dogs got lucky and figured it out, but how many dogs spent their entire lives dealing with problems that could have been solved by bacon, but continued to suffer from these problems because of a lack of knowledge? I have to go now. I think I'll go to the kitchen and look for some bacon. After I rub it on my problems, I plan to eat it.

Demon Flash Bandit (Give Me Bacon or Give me Bacon)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Demon Flash Bandit: Dog Needs Toilet Tank Aquarium!

In my last blog, I mentioned a cool product I found on the Internet that is a toilet tank and an aquarium all in one. I think this is not only a cool product, but a product that a dog would find very entertaining. As I predicted, when I told Mommy I wanted her to order one and have it installed (and I didn't insist she put it in both bathrooms even though that would be a great idea), she told me that the ones in those bathrooms are working just fine, and she sees no need to spend money to replace things that work okay. At least she did agree that it would be cool to have one which makes her a lot more intelligent than some of the other humans--one of which called it (and I quote) "silly". I would order it myself, but it seems that a dog does not get paid for writing a blog (yeah, it seems crazy to me too--I've read some of the blogs written by humans and they aren't even interesting). Anyway, I had one of those moments when a lightbulb goes off over my head. It didn't hurt that I was sitting under a light fixture when it happened, but I knew that I had solved my problem of getting the fish tank toilet. All I have to do is ask my readers to send me money. Here is the address:
Demon Flash Bandit
United States
I'm sure that will be enough for the post office to get the money to me. I'm sure all the humans know who I am, and are probably jealous of my many, many postings which are always better than anything they could write. I am sure that, with all the money coming in, I'll be able to put aquarium toilet tanks in both bathrooms. Mommy said that there are more important things to give money to--like people who are starving and homeless, but I say that if you give a dog a fish toilet, he will be entertained for at least a week. I think that makes donating to my cause far more important than all the other causes out there. Remember, I need to watch fish when I'm laying on the bathroom floor, which happens to be one of the cooler spots in the house in which to lay. Being a husky, I always check to find the coolest spots!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Needs Your Help)

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Watching the Fish Swim

Once again, I have searched the Internet for an item that is cool that I can write a blog about. Today it is an aquarium and toilet all in one. There is also a sink that has an aquarium. Imagine having fish swimming around the toilet. I showed this to a couple of cats and they loved it. In fact, they are getting their fishing poles ready in case their human orders one. I think it would be very cool for a dog to be able to watch fish while laying on the bathroom floor. It would be very entertaining, and a dog needs entertainment. I can also imagine how much fun it would be to watch a cat fishing from the top of the toilet tank. The link to this great product is:

I've got to go now and try to talk my humans into buying this. I bet I will hear the usual, "why should we replace something that works okay just because the dog wants something more unusual". I get so tired of the humans being cheap and not giving a dog what he wants. Perhaps I'll just get some plastic money out of my human Mommy's purse and order it myself. Do you think they speak dog or do I need to use my human words?

Demon Flash Bandit (Wants Cool Aquarium Toilet)

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Tales of My Tail

Today I am going to discuss my tail, and in the process, I am going to discuss why all dogs have tails. I have heard many of the humans say that my tail is gorgeous, and I can't argue with them when they are so obviously right. It is furry, and it curls, and I know it is adorable. Because we dogs have such gorgeous tails, the humans tend to be jealous because they don't have tails. Why don't humans have tails? Obviously, they are an inferior species so they don't have tails. It is just that simple. This is why the humans suffer from what we dogs call "tail envy". Yes, the humans see our beautiful tails and wish they could have one too. This is the reason that they come up with reasons for us to have tails. I will share a link from a website that actually tells the humans why a dog has a tail. I have already told you the real reason we have a tail: we are a superior species to the humans so the website is silly! Here is the link I mentioned:
I've got to go now. I've got to wag my tail for the humans--they love watching me!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog With Gorgeous Tail!)

Friday, June 8, 2012

Conquistador Combo Meal at Taco Bell

I am not personally a fan of the food at Taco Bell, but the other husky in the house, Angel Zoom Smokey, does like their food. Yesterday, in the car at drive-thru, she wanted a conquistador combo meal. I told her that she meant a quesadilla combo meal, and she told me-no, she meant a conquistador meal. She said she was in the mood to take over Taco Bell and eat all the food there. I guess it does make sense in a wierd, Angel Zoom Smokey way. However, they did not give her a conquistador when she got to the window. I laughed and told her that I knew they did not have a conquistador meal, but she said that the conquistador meal won't fit into a Taco Bell bag. They send him in the mail. Now she is waiting for the postman to deliver a conquistador. I think she has a long wait!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog Who Prefers Hamburgers)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Three Annoying Little Pigs and their Nice Neighbor, the Wolf

Once upon a time there were three little pigs who were kicked out of the pig parents' house because they were so annoying. Thus they had to build houses for themselves. Sure, they could build one house and live together, but these pigs weren't just annoying, they were also stupid. The first little pig built his house out of paper--it was actually newspaper that he found on the neighbor's doorstep. The neighbor was a nice guy--a wolf who was quite handsome and looked a lot like some of us dogs. You can imagine how he felt about having his newspaper stolen so that a pig could use it to build a house in his neighborhood. The second little pig built his house out of cardboard--a refrigerator box to be exact. I don't think I need to tell you that this did not make the neighbors any happier. The third little pig built his house out of cloth--he found a tent and his house was the nicest of the three. The neighbors all got together and asked the wolf to go to the little pigs' houses and try to get them to move to another neighborhood since they were bringing down the property values. The wolf knocked on the first little pig's door--you don't expect houses made of paper to have a doorbell, do you? The little pig said: "who is there", and the wolf said, "it is I, the wolf". The little pig told him that he wasn't home. The wolf then went to the second little pig's house made from the box, and knocked on the door. This time he was told, "I don't owe you any money so get out of here". He went to the third little pig's house and knocked on the door there, and the little pig said: "I gave at the office". Needless to say, the wolf was getting very annoyed so he went to the city and registered a complaint at the zoning department, and the city workers came and condemned the pigs' houses. The moral to this story is: when the wolf comes to the door, the city could be next, or there could be barbeque bacon and ham for dinner.

Demon Flash Bandit (True Story of the Three Little Pigs)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Dogs at the United Nations

I have some good news to report today. I have a link to share with my readers about a group of dogs who took over the United Nations. This dog will rest easier at naptime knowing that dogs are taking care of the major world decisions. Look what happens when you leave things to the humans--they invent ways to blow up the planet! I don't happen to think that blowing up planet Earth is a particularly good idea. Even birds who want to take over don't want to destroy the planet completely. They just want to run it themselves. Here is the link:
I might add that the dogs look a lot cuter than the delegates who are human--not that I mean any insult to the humans, but dogs just happen to be a lot cuter than humans.

Since I have written about the zombie news stories in the past week, I have a link to share for those who want to read more about zombies. Here it is:
Whether these are actual zombies or just really "sick" humans, I don't think that zombie insurance I mentioned is a bad idea. I wonder....are the dogs meeting at the United Nations to try to stop the zombies? It makes sense that the humans would turn to an animal with superior intelligence in that situation: DOGS!!!

Demon Flash Bandit (Dogs Take Over United Nations)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Note From Mommy

Once again, a human was fooled by a mere puppy. Yes, in a real life situation reminscent of the Welcome Back Kotter television show, a young boy who is 6 years old forged a note from his "Mommy" at school. Epstein always had a note from his mother explaining why he had missed school, and it was always signed "Epstein's Mother". The only difference is that the teacher (Mr. Kotter) never fell for the note. He always knew it was a forgery. Perhaps it being signed "Epstein's Mother" was the reason. However, the secretary at this school let the child leave on the basis of the note which was written on fingerpaint paper and done with a highlighter. I'm not saying a parent in a hurry couldn't write a note on fingerpaint paper with a yellow highlighter, but when it looks like it is written by a child, and many words are misspelled, I would have been far more skeptical. One look at this note told me that there is a child who wanted to leave school and go home. I will share the link so you can see what you think:
Schools must have changed a lot since my Mommy went to school. She said none of the adults at her schools would have fell for that note. Adult humans must be getting dumber.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Forgery)

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Demon Flash Bandit for President!!!!

I have decided once again to put my paw into the presidential race. It seems appropriate since I'm a Siberian Husky and we like to run. Anyway, being a dog, I plan to run a nice campaign--not that I'm against mud-slinging. Of course, if they want to sling some mud at me, I'm okay with it. I've always found mud very enjoyable to play around with. Anyway, I found this on youtube about Romney strapping his dog to the roof of his car. I can't say I approve of such a practice. The dog should have been driving, and if someone needed to be strapped onto the roof, it could have been a human. I've heard a lot of them enjoy fresh air. Anyway, I am going to share the spoof with you showing Hitler and his concern for the dog. Considering Hitler was not one of the nicer men in history, it does not bode well for Romney that he does not approve. Here is the link:
If you want the world to be run better, quit trusting the humans, and give the job to a dog. We are far more intelligent than the humans, and we are honest. Remember, for those of you in the United States, vote Demon Flash Bandit for President. I already have a lot of dogs who have said they will vote for me.

Demon Flash Bandit (Dog for President)

Friday, June 1, 2012

Center for Disease Control on Zombie Attacks

Today I am writing about a subject that has been in the news several times recently. That subject is zombie attacks. According to the Center for Disease Control, there is no virus or any other kind of thing that would cause humans to become zombies, but this dog is wondering if they are trying to cover up a major zombie attack. There are just so many stories of humans eating other humans. It isn't like food is in short supply where the attacks occur. There are supermarkets and restaurants which serve much better tasting foods. I can only hope that, if they are covering up zombie attacks, that dogs won't become some zombie's dinner. So far, the reports are only including humans, and I have not read one case of a zombie attacking a dog or of a dog becoming a zombie so this dog can rest easier knowing that those stupid zombies aren't after me. Here is the link to read about all the zombie attacks:

For those of the human persuasion reading this, I would be extra careful for the next couple of weeks.

Demon Flash Bandit (Discussing Zombies)